It’s the thoughts that count…
September 15, 2010
In honor of the UFC having a free event of fights tonight on SpikeTV, I would like to present what the glorious sport of MMA would look like if it was overrun by gay hipsters.
If you like baked potatoes:
1. Pre-heat oven to 350 degree
2. wash the potato
3. poke holes in the potato with a fork
4. Dip potato in olive oil
5. lightly salt the potato
6. put in oven for an hour
7. wait that hour
8. eat the delicious potato and think of me
Tonight on TV:
UFC Fight Night – 8-10pm
The Ultimate Fighter – season premiere – 10pm
Top Chef – season finale – 10pm
Inside the NFL – 10pm
Terriers – 10pm
I will have to use all of my DVR artistry tonight. Terriers’ first episode last week wasn’t anything special, but I’m willing to give it at least a couple more weeks.
Politics… sort of
There were some primary elections yesterday that you all may or may not voted in. Depending on if you live in Delaware and are a Republican and are wildly conservative, you may have voted for the winner Christine O’Donnell. She has quite a varied career of anything, but politics. I’m somewhat excited she won her primary considering I don’t think she has a shot at winning the general election. Political analysts have had a fun time talking about how wound up the Republican party seems to be and they’re voting in droves. They seem to be wound up because they are starting to tear apart at their own seams and voting every which way, but together. I’m all for this.
A huge part of Christine O’Donnell’s experience in the limelight has been pushing abstinence (fine) and no masturbation (WHAT!?!).
If I were to promote abstinence (which I most certainly am not… don’t knock it till you’ve tried it, amirite!?!), then I would have the greatest masturbatory pro-masturbation campaign on masturbating anyone could imagine. Everything would be whacking off this and jerking off that. I would be getting these unwed horny teenagers all spent gratifying themselves into pools of uninspired lives barely able to get out of their beds if I wanted to stop them from having promiscuous sex. Just saying. Spankwire will help abstinence with its endlessness of graphicness instead of singalongs with boring people.
I’m not afraid of heights, but this video makes me nauseous and gives me a strange cool rush of excitement. People are wild.
Originally, I was going to do a dissection of lyrics and music video on this:
Trey Songz – Say Ahhhh
I don’t know if that would have improved interest, but it couldn’t have made it any worse. I keep seeing Trey Songz everywhere on TV and I didn’t know who the hell he was, so I looked him up and found this video. It is brilliant to say the least. Why even go through the motions or the choreography of talking to a girl and the sweet subtlety of implying she should have another drink to loosen her up? You can just tell the chick to “say ahhhh” and pour half a bottle of vodka or Patrone down her throat. Much more effective, Trey. Also, everything that happens in the video pails in comparison to the enormous Rocky Mountains of cleavage from the girl in the background who seems to be perpetually leaning over. They need to give that girl a record deal or a TV show or my phone number and address and tell her that it is someone’s address and number that she would actually care about.
Here are my picks for who I am rooting for in tonight’s UFC event:
Ross Pearson vs. Cole Miller
I like both of these fighters, but I have to give the nod to Ross Pearson. The Brit spent some of his training camp in the US learning good ole’ American ‘rasslin from UFC Lightweight Champion Frankie Edgar and the Rutgers University wrestling team. Shall I say, J-E-R-S-E-Y! JERSEY! Jersey by way of the UK, but Jersey nonetheless.
Jim Miller vs. Gleison Tibau
Let’s cut the shit here – JERSEY! Jim Miller is born and raised in the great garden state. Plus I’m a fan of his anyway.
Efrain Escudero vs. Charles Oliveira
JERS… actually Efrain doesn’t have anything to do with New Jersey outside of my Jersey ass interviewing him for UFC.com, which can be found here – http://www.ufc.com/news/The-Class-and-Commitment-of-Efrain-Escudero – so I’m rooting for him for that and because I’m a fan. Dude rocks a mohawk as well.
Rousimar Palhares vs. Nate Marquardt
I have to go with Rousimar aka “Toquinho” on this one. “Toquinho” supposedly means “tree stump”. I think Rousimar is a very interesting fighter at being squat and built like a brick shit house. Whoever wins this fight will most likely have a shot at the Middleweight belt. The two guys who are currently in line to battle for the Middleweight belt are Chael Sonnen (challenger) and Anderson Silva (champion) in a rematch of their wild 5 round fight from early August. Nate lost to Anderson and Nate lost to Chael. I don’t really care to see him fight either Anderson or Chael again. I’m a lot more interested in seeing how Rousimar can deal with these elite fighters.
Also, when Rousimar walked out to fight Jeremy Horn last year, he was so emotional he was actually crying on his way to the cage. How can you not love that? He’s got a soft side. A soft side beyond his beast outside that man handled Jeremy Horn for 15 minutes.
I think I’m done for today. Can’t wait for the fights.