Miscellaneous Moments Mor Mednesday… M’kay?
August 8, 2012
First, I just reported this sordid tale for Sunday to some friends…
To put it mildly, I was not happy to see that. LOLO JONES IS AN ANGEL! AND WE ARE LUCKY JUST TO LOOK UPON HER FACE AND/OR HER UNTHINKABLY DEFINED ABS!
I did not read the New York Times catty nonsense bullshit article that was written trying to hurt Lolo Jones. Well guess the fuck what? You accomplished your Satanic mission! You hurt Lolo Jones!
Truly I do think this was despicable for the New York Times to write and run an article purely to try and poke at the celebrity of an American athlete just a couple days before their one and only Olympic event. That’s insane that they did that. I would think that it was stupid if they did that about a foreign athlete as well, but it’s worse that arguably the most heralded newspaper in your own country is writing smear campaigns against you and the only thing you did wrong was have a funny twitter account. Seriously, New York Times should be forced to have anal sex with The Situation’s herpes while listening to him tell you about his burgeoning career as a vodka salesman and actor. FUCK YOU, NYT!
As for Lolo, I know the Olympics did not work out how she wanted nor did the 2008 Olympics either. All I can think as a consolation is that she’s beautiful, has more money now than she did previously, and millions of people have crushes on her, so she’ll have a pretty good pick of the litter when deciding to break her vaginal seal for that first time. I’m sure things will turn out well for Lolo Jones. Her life story up until this point has been about her overcoming many obstacles in life and she has done so with grace. I’ll take a wild gamble and say she’ll continue to do that from here on out as well.
FOOT! BALL! … say it with me… FOOT! BALL!
Last night, HBO’s series “Hard Knocks” started. If you haven’t seen it then it is a show following an NFL football team for 5 weeks during their training camp and preseason before the NFL season starts. They choose one team and this team this year is the Mighty Miami Ballphins aka the Miami Dolphins.
The star of the first episode to me were the wives.
First and foremost, the Miami Dolphins have one of those “quarterback controversies” going into this season. They have 3 quarterbacks who could arguably be the starting quarterback: Matt Moore, David Garrard, and Ryan Tannehill.
As HBO introduced us to the three of these men, we knew one thing for certain – Ryan Tannehill has a pretty blonde wife. We knew that! At this year’s NFL draft, Tannehill’s pretty blonde wife completely stole the show and people could not stop talking about her online. We knew going in that we’re going to see some pretty blonde wife-ness from Tannehill.
But the question was, what would we get from Moore and Garrard?
TWO OTHER PRETTY BLONDE WIVES!
Unbelievable. Do blondes attract quarterbacks or do quarterbacks attract blondes? That’s what I’m wondering.
Eli Manning has a blonde wife, Peyton Manning has a blonde wife, Gisele Bundchen is blonde sometimes, Big Ben has a blonde wife, who else? Tony Romo? Check. Drew Brees? Check. Even recent later round draft pick Russell Wilson of the Seattle Seahawks has a blonde wife! Matt Flynn needs to watch out in Seattle because Russell has all the pre-requisites to be a starting quarterback in the NFL – pretty blonde wife! WHAT?! THIS JUST IN – Matt Flynn is dating a pretty blonde lady – put a ring on that finger Matt if you want to have a chance at starting this fucking season!
This is getting nuts. Off the top of my head, the only quarterback – and he’s retired – that doesn’t have a blonde wife is Brett Favre. Yep. Trendsetter. Also, cheated on her or tried to with a chick who looked remarkably similar to her, but younger, which resulted in them almost getting a divorce. So, there are no non blonde wives in the starting quarterback ranks is what I’m saying as far as I can tell. But I really don’t blame Brett or Deanna or even Jenn Sterger (the girl Brett sexted those dick pics to who did not appreciate them), I really blame the New York Jets because they’re the most unwholesome team in all of the NFL and probably the world, so they probably screwed with Brett’s head and forced him to try and commit adultery.
You think I’m crazy? How many dick pics did he send in Green Bay? ANSWER ME THAT! He’s with the Jets for a year! ONE YEAR… and dick pics. I blame the Jets. The J-E-T-S, JETS JETS JETS. They’re evil.
The other wife that helped steal the show was Evelyn Lozada who you may know as Chad Johnson’s new wife who is also on “The Basketball Wives” TV show. Chad and Evelyn are very funny on twitter and it translates to the show and I hope they’re married forever.
I’m not sure about what else is going on today.
I woke up today thinking it was already hump day and this week is moving by quickly.
I have to go to the dentist in an hour.
I really want to see “The Campaign” on Friday.
I really hope Jordan Burroughs wins gold on Friday.
That’s what I got.