The North East of the U.S.A. is CLOSED due to SNOW

Yes, indeed it is closed. Especially, New Jersey. Especially, where I am stuck in New Jersey.

Where am I “stuck”? My parents’ house. What started as a family dinner is now a hostage situation. (sounds like every family dinner at my house *wah wah*)

I’m not going to write 2000 words about something sitting at my family computer, but I will upload some pictures of my morning which started promptly around 11 am. No work means I force myself to stay asleep even if my childhood bed is less comfortable than a torture rack nowadays.

So all days should start with a breakfast of champions. Remember I’m no “Stupid Dad”. I’m neither a “Dad” or “Stupid” and I meant that I can make…

Eggs! Ahhh yes, eggs! Breakfast of Champions some may say.

Here is my little helper aka “the dog that whines the entire time I am trying to cook because she wants whatever food I’m having regardless of the fact that she has no idea what I’m cooking because she is way too short to see what is happening on the countertop”.

Once the bag of cheese is opened, two more “helpers” emerge.

Final product. And it is now in my belly. – Also disgustingly enough that is a good “That’s what she said”. I am a slave to my craft.

Outside snow beasts await.

One lurks at the bottom of the steps anticipating my every move.

The Wilderness!

The Grill!

The snow fights back against this little tyrant. It is trying to consume her – assimilate her. It begins with the legs and is slowly turning her into an ice statue like in Narnia, obviously.

She is the snow’s greatest foe. She consumes the snow like an insatiable goliath.

She stalks me as I shovel waiting to pounce on every clump of snow that I throw into the air. There is problems in this plan. She has little patience like her master and in that her impatience causes her to lunge to quickly when the snow has yet to be released from thy shovel and then she gets clipped by the shovel. Her appetite for snow makes me a dog beater.

Hold

HOLD

I said HOLD!

ATTACK FOR SCOTLAND! KILL THE BRITISH SNOW! FOR FFFFRRRRREEEEEDDDDDOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!

My handiwork. The first dog won’t be on the snow nor will she walk through it, so this is her piss and poop path.

And clean steps! I know what a miraculous creature I am. Eggs and shoveling! And then eloquent words!

I did lose electricity for a couple hours. It is back now. The snow is coming down at least 2 inches an hour, am I right? Everything I shoveled is easily covered by half a foot of snow by now. Go me.