Happy New Year! Or something.

One guy I follow on Twitter named The Sulk said a lot of funny things yesterday, but one of them in particular I shall pass on to you:

“Today = Thanksgiving. Tomorrow = Thanksshitting.”

And before I get myself involved in that holiday as I drink my first of many colon cleansing coffee cups of … coffee, I will answer the Friday questions.

Friday question: with all this talk of an NFL lockout, to what insane lengths would you go to ensure next season continued uninterrupted? Would you perform sexual favors for another male? I don’t know why the NFL would say “Football can continue so long as KSWI Jordan gives that dude over there a beej,” but let’s pretend that they would for a moment just for my entertainment’s sake. Thanks

Well, who is this dude “over there”? Does everyone know that I’m saving football by blowing this “dude”? And is everyone treating me like the hero I’ve always wanted and felt that I am already am? Because if the stars do align…

What am I prepared to do? For the most part I’m doing as much as I’m prepared to do, which is practicing “The Secret”.

Ahhh, yes The Secret. You all may remember The Secret from Oprah. And by “Oprah” I do mean the mythical wondrous trillionaire Chicagoan. The Secret is remaining positive and focusing on out comes that you want to happen in life and through this optimism and positivity they will manifest. Also, there is the act of making “dream boards” where you cut out pictures of things you want and can focus your positivity on to make happen.

The Secret never mentions how many dream boards you can have. Or how many you should limit yourself to. So safe to say, I have rented out an office space not far from where I am living. The walls are covered in dream boards and I sit in there and pray and listen to Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” and once a day a dog breeder releases all its puppies in the office and we run and giggle and smell markers because that is the most positive thing experience ever.

I’m pretty sure this will all get figured out with the players and the owners in the NFL before I have to blow a guy. Thanks for thinking of me…

Why are most, if not all, major American holidays an excuse to eat yourself into a food coma, or alternatively drink until you can’t feel feelings any more?
(I’m not judging, most of our holidays are like that too. We have a horse race that everyone skips work for – top that!!)

The US of A has horse races, but they are on Saturdays.

I’m not sure what else there really is to do with people. Eat, drink and be merry. So why not eat A LOT, drink A LOT, and maybe you’ll be merry after that. It’s just simplest that way. Maybe if people are stuffing their faces with food and alcohol then you won’t have to converse with people you really have no business conversing with.

Since America is kind of the greatest everyday always then everyday is like a holiday in this damn country, right?

Will you ever consider rejoining the world of the working stiff, Jordalachian? Or is freelancing treating you too well to even contemplate having to wear a cool suit and get up before 10am ever again?

I will/have considered. Freelancing doesn’t pay me enough to live on forever. But we’ll see. I may be rejoining said office world sooner than later. I do still have all those suits. They sit unworn in my closet.

What do you want for Xmas?

KSWI orgy? I do have a dream board for that as well.

Have you seen the Cowboys & Aliens movie trailer?

I have. Several times. My opinion on this trailer is ever changing. I know of the comic book, but never read it. I like a lot of the people involved in the movie like director Jon Favreau and Daniel Craig and Mr. Ford and Olivia Wilde’s body. I like the idea of the movie and the comic book very much, but the trailer is a little disconcerting to me. I would expect it to be more humorous, but it looks really serious. And some of that seriousness could be ok if it were not for the one part where Harrison Ford rides out of the darkness and says that he wants Daniel Craig and at that point I start laughing and say “wow, that was bad” every time.

I’m definitely seeing the movie. There is no way I’m not seeing it. I’m just wondering if the movie is this serious and if it is maybe they shouldn’t have hired Harrison Ford. The first time I watched the trailer I was into it. The more I watch it, the more it worries me. But I’ll definitely be there opening day waiting to see it.

I love the idea of “cowboys” and “aliens”, so hopefully it works. I have not seen a Jon Favreau movie that wasn’t at the very least entertaining as hell.

And on the topic of great combinations…

Friday question, for the Friday post we’re most certainly not going to have: “Why are you so popular with Indian men of the lonely persuasion, Kay Swidge?”

My question back – there are 1.5 billion Indian people, so why are there not more Indian men commenting on this website trying to find love… sex… a fuck buddy?

I’m pretty sure that these “Indian men” are really a “clever” spammer. Nevertheless, I laugh a lot reading the messages. I was thinking about one day going through comments like theirs and making a post out of it. We’ll see if I do that.

Have a great weekend.

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