Courteous Constructive Criticism Critters Commence

First and foremost, blame one of your own for my non-posting yesterday. You can also blame me because I’m not getting much sleep lately and I’m lazy. But I did escort one of your fellow commenters around New York City and this was morning following a night of getting drunk with that commenter and another commenter. So blame your own. And then, I guess blame me because you all take each others’ side instead of mine. Also, are people still reading this site? Either way, I’m a cheap tour guide if that is needed in your life.

A few friends came over to my place Saturday night for the UFC fights. Before the fights started and while we were casual sipping on beers like gentlemen, we decided to go through our OkCupid profiles tearing each other apart for how terrible we sound. We looked up our own profiles and that of our friends. I have been meaning to write a post bemoaning about OkCupid, but haven’t. I think I’ll write the post if I get some solid feedback from this one about my own profile, so without further ado:

www.okcupid.com/profile/avatarwasmeh

Feel free to look at the profile, laugh at it, scoff at it, and then prepare some “constructive criticism” or “outright mean spiritedness” and send that my way.

I won’t give any preface to my profile. I do hate it, but this is what I came up with. I started a profile on OkCupid near the beginning of this year. I made an edit or two on the profile at the start of the Summer and this is what it has been running as since.

Either way, I am truly interested in hearing your alls thoughts and/or demeaning critique of it.

Yes, I will answer your questions.

Uh-huh… Hmmmm… Ok. Basically, your question is “What is it that I want?”

This is a tough one. It is just so hard to choose what I “want” specifically. It is really hurting my brain because I want so much that now I want answer to your question as well and that want is now on the inside of my skull attacking my own mind.

How can I put this into words? I want your face. I want the wind. I want the moon. I want peace. I want a peanut butter cup to eat. I want another million peanut butter cups to fill in a pool and then I want to swim in that sea of chocolate and peanut butter candies. I want a horse that speak Portuguese and a dog that speaks German. I want to sing a lullaby to the Dalai Lama. I want to kiss away the depression on the lips of the people of this world. I want a grappling hook to be my primary means of transportation. I don’t think I’m answering this correctly.

I want everything. Yes, that’s better. I want everything. I want IT.

Isn’t it just adorable when I talk with my hands by my face like this and my eyes are so big and bright? I want IT.