Q&A as always

Would you consider classical ballet a sport? Would a person who dances it be considered an athlete?

No. Um, do you “compete” in classical ballet? I think there has to be at least a competition or a way to win to be at least considered a game let alone a sport. If there is competitive routine match-ups like in figure skating then still no. I would definitely marry a figure skater or a the classical ballet female person. I need to be able to root for something in this fantasy though. I need the chick to have a rival for me to antagonize. I would consider them an athlete. That goes for figure skating as well. They are certainly “athletic” and they are in a competition based environment. I would add those together and say they are “athletes”. But not a “sport”. I am very conservative with my definition of what a “sport” is. Football, basketball, baseball, soccer, boxing, MMA, wrestling, tennis et cetera. I would put golf on the list of sports. And I think Tiger Woods solidified that when he started really changing the face of it. He pushed the golfers to be more athletic and I think even more competitive. I feel like there needs to be an element of competiting against a person at the same time for it to be a “sport”. If in figure skating they had them one on one on the ice at the same time trying to pull off tricks and they also got to hip check each other then it would definitely be a sport.

In conclusion – ballet chicks are cool. Sure, why not?

In my ongoing discussion with you all about directors/producers needing to apply an actor’s actual personality to finding them the correct role:

Seriously, this is phenomenal! Actors are not the beginning, middle and end of a movie. The director needs to set the world for them to show off in. The director needs to control the environment to best suit each particular actor to make something great. Actors cannot just be great in whatever. Given the right situation an actor can be unbelievable, but if they are put in shit situations then they will never make anything great. Just look at this personality and charisma that Dolph is showing. Just look at the movie JCVD and how unbelievably amazing Jean Claude Van Damme is in it. He should’ve been nominated for an Oscar he is that good. And seemingly he could do that all the time if given the right situation. Actors are the paint and the paintbrush, but the director is Bob Ross.

Notice all these roles that Mickey Rourke is getting nowadays. He will be good in only a few of them because it is not just a name or an actor that makes the role. Half of these roles they are giving him sound awful. Can Mickey Rourke be great? Sure. He was flat out awe inspiring in The Wrestler. But some of these other movies are garbage and he cannot make them not garbage.

Why are Americans so loud?

Human beings are loud. Human beings make their presence known. Have you not noticed we kind of took over the damn planet. We created pollution, global warming, killing all the animals, and laying concrete on everything. People are loud. All people. Even silent monks are always disturbing the ground raking stones. Stop that raking! I’m trying to sleep over here! Sure you’re not talking, but your stupid wooden sandals are killing my ears.

Is it wrong that I laughed hysterically when he nailed the hooker with the chainsaw from a three flight drop?

That movie is the best. You laugh while watching that movie. You laugh at all of it. “They have a great bathroom to do coke in.”

Why the hell is it so hard to eat chickpeas with a bamboo fork?

I don’t know what that is. A fork made of bamboo seems quite impractical. I have metal forks because metal is made from God’s fingernails. What other things do you own that are unfortunately made out of bamboo?

What is your song list for sexy times?

Song List? That assumes a need for a plural amount of songs. Is it supposed to last for more than one song? This song is like 5 whole minutes!

What will happen to this blog if you get a new yob and have to mork in the mornings instead of writing posts for us to ignore, critique and mock all afternoon?

I ask myself this a lot. And it makes me smile. Awwwww…. JORDAN! You’re so mean. Wah wah.

How did you feel about Kristen Stewart’s BAFTA toes?

I’m fine with them. I have no real foot fetish to begin with. She’s a cute broad this Kristen Stewart, so I’m not going to judge her as a whole just because she isn’t dressing her toes up. Also it is not like her toes are terrible. They just look unpainted to me. I really could care less.

On a scale of 1-John Mayer is a Douchebag, weigh in on Jenny Lumet’s and Robert Pattinson’s use of the word “Negro” in the Details interview. What does Rob mean? That Negroes whisper? That Negroes are deaf? Should someone tell Rob that we are 10 years into a new century in which most of us never thought we’d hear the word “Negro” again?

Yeah, I don’t know what the hell is going on in that interview. I blame Details more than Rob since they were the ones to introduce the word into the conversation. But it does not help the image any that I think Rob is an idiot. I hope whoever did the interview with Rob was fired. Not for racism. But for being an idiot. Seriously? Negro? Come on!

What’s the best gift you ever received?

My car. I’m in the middle of a SNOWICANE and my car made it its bitch. My Nissan Pathfinder rides high over the snow like the bullshit proletariat snow it is. I want to make a bumper sticker in support of trucks and suvs that says – “I ride high” or “I love riding high” and I will make a million dollars off of these.

If a new medicine was developed that would cure arthritis, but cause a fatal reaction in 1% of the people who took it, would you still want it released to the public?

Yes. Yes, definitely. No second thought. I would bet a high, high, high, high percentage of medicine on the market right now all have a 1% and higher percentage of proving fatal. John Stuart Mill and I are going to cure the nation – and some people may die in the process, but no where near as many as we will save.

You discover your wonderful one year old child is, because of a mixup at the hospital, not your. Would you want to exchange the child to try to correct the mistake?

Does this child already show any natural proclivity for any sport? It would really depend on how much time I have spent in the past year making this kid a boxer, field goal kicker, golfer or whatever and how much he/she seems to be accepting of it.

Would you rather be a member of a world championship sports team or be the champion of an individual sport? Which sport would you choose?

Am I a one time champion or am I a multiple champion? If it is one time then I would definitely say professional tackle football. If it is a multiple time champion then it would be Heavyweight Champion of the World in boxing/MMA. There is more history and legacy in team sports for a one time champion. One time champions come and go with little reverence in one-on-one sports. If one is a multiple champion in one-on-one then you are indisputably the greatest human being in that sport for a period of time and that has to be the unquestionable glory zenith.

One of the GREATEST 80’s movies ever – VISION QUEST


Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished you were a member of the opposite sex?

I have never wished I was a member of the opposite sex. I would say that men have it easier overall. Women definitely have advantages over men in many areas, but men definitely have it “easier” in one regard: they are the driver. If existence was progressing like a traveling car. Men would be the drivers. One day women may end up taking over the wheel, but up until this point – men have been the drivers. The driver needs to stay awake, the driver needs to be responsible, the driver has the most stress in the car, but they are in control while no one else is. If something happens I think most want to be in control, controlling their destiny instead of waiting to see what happens. Controlling one’s own fate whether it leads to riches or ruin is way more appealling than just watching someone else do it for the both of you.

What is your favorite book and why?

Fight Club – obvious. War & Peace – obvious.

What’s the worst injury you have ever had?

I’ve broken both wrists (not at the same time), torn ligaments in my foot, broken knuckles, broken fingers, broken miscellaneous bones in my hand, broken toes, 7 stitches in the back of my head, two broken noses, tore through my thumb and required 20 stitches to fix. Ummmmm… broken heart? Awwwww!

I am a man! Pain is temporary, glory is forever! What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger!

A “hot chick” in a cleavage revealing top or a fitted reproduction vintage Transformers Optimus Prime T-shirt with no cleavage showing?

To look at? Are they equally hot? Cleavage. I need to see the boobs. That robot is just covering up the boobies.

Do you think that orca that killed it’s trainer should be put down?

Nope. You mess with bull, you get the horns.

ELIAS KOTEAS!

Have a great weekend. And join the Facebook group if you haven’t.

Search: “Kristen Stewart wants it”. It’s pretty obvious shit.

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