This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #26

FRIDAY! It is beautiful out from what I can tell. And by tell, I mean it is sunny, hot and there are not hail bricks falling from the sky like the interwebz video passed around earlier this week. Being unemployed has lead me to the conclusion that although I still operate on a Monday – Friday and then the weekend life schedule, but clearly I do not need to. Not too much difference between a Tuesday and a Saturday for me.

Answering questions… Hmmmm… there were not many of them this week. I really only noticed four questions, so I’ll answer them. I’ll also interrupt my answering of questions with music videos for the fuck of it.

Kristen Stewart vs. a Liger

Kristen Stewart wins. Are you kidding me? If the Liger is allowed to use its magical powers then Kristen is allowed to use the WANT. Unless we’re saying we are dropping both of them off on that island from X-Men where they can’t use their powers and Professor X has use of his legs there. In that case, if the island could stop the Liger from having its magical powers then the Liger would be FUCKED. That island can’t stop the WANT! Are you shitting me? The Want has no end. It cannot be stopped! It has no limits. It has no weakness. It smells like a phoenix’s orgasm. It tastes like victory over the Luftwaffe. Its touch is of warm ice cubes washing over ones eyes and genitals pouring out of the mouth of a mastodon. So you tell me? How dare thee forsake the WANT? A liger!?! Pffftt…

Kristen Stewart’s want pisses on ligers. Pisses on them real good.

^^^ Amazing band – The National. Their new album is amazing as well. Probably my favorite single and video so far this year.

Kristen Stewart on The Hills?

Immediately there would be a lot more WANT on the show. For the most part, all the people on The Hills have vacant looks in their eyes. It is California so they’re laid back, they’re rich as hell so they’re laid back, they have absolutely no responsibilities in life so they’re  laid back, everything in life has been given to them so they’re laid back and they’re on a TV show simply about how interesting and wonderful they are as human beings so they’re laid back. Also, at no point in time has anyone ever said they want them to use their brains to figure something out or come up with an opinion on something, so those brains are on vacation and have been and will continue to be.

Kristen will add at least that overwhelming desire in her eyes. The rest of them more or less look like they are sleep walking through their fabulous and fabulously boring lives of opulence. I was trying to explain yesterday that is one of the reasons why this Spencer Pratt thing is so phenomenal because it is on The Hills which has almost zero energy in it.

I’m not sure Kristen Stewart would change The Hills too much. The editors on that show have cleverly deleted any scenes of these people chain smoking, doing coke, and getting fall down wasted which is all reported in the US Weeklys or PerezHilton’s all the time. Everyone says Kristin Cav-I’m not looking it up-ilari loves cocaine only a little less than Sigmund Freud, but I don’t see that on The Hills. So whatever craziness that Kristen Stewart could add to the show they will just quietly edit it out.

I don’t think Kristen Stewart would change The Hills, but The Hills would change her – Kristen Stewart would have sex with Brodie Jenner. Everyone has sex with Brodie Jenner on that show. That would happen. Maybe Rob gets pissed and tries to get tough with Brodie, but neither Rob or Brodie can fight so it is a lot of pushing. Finally, Lamar Odom from the Los Angeles Lakers needs to intervene in their epic shoving match because Lamar Odom is Khloe Kardashian’s husband who is also Brodie Jenner’s step-sister.

^^^ I don’t understand this type of music in the least. I hate The Streets and that type of music. This reminds me of it. Nevertheless, I’m still posting the video because I love saying her name “Uffie”. What are you listening to nowadays? A lot of Uffie. What inspires you? Probably Uffie.

Fist Pumping for Love – Will I watch it?

Well that explains a lot. I met that asshole from Fist Pumping for Love when I met Snooki. He was with her at the Arnold Classic in Ohio. He was about as wide as he was tall and he blew me off when I tried to talk to him. He didn’t “blow me”. I didn’t say that. I didn’t say that when I tried to talk to him he just dropped to his knees… actually he was short enough to do it standing… that he just unzipped me and went to town. I said he “blew me off”. That doesn’t sound a whole lot better. It just sounds like he “completed” the “job”, am I right? What have been getting at this whole time is that when I tried a little small talk with him to set him at ease because he looked crazy intense for no apparent reason that instead of acting like a decent human being and answering he instead rolled his eyes and pretended like it didn’t happen. Fair enough, buddy. Continue having the claim to fame of being Snooki’s ex-boyfriend. I’m sure that will all pay off.

As for the show, I probably won’t watch it out of principle. It is hard to tell from this website, but I really don’t watch a lot of reality television. Any reality television I have watched I write about because it usually confounds me to the core. Also, if I do watch reality TV it is randomly. I do have a schedule of TV shows that I watch or keep track of and The Ultimate Fighter is the only reality TV show on it. Of course, when Jersey Shore season 2 starts that will be there as well.

^^^ Referring to yesterday’s post about “Good” insanity. This about as genius as “Good” insanity gets. I have no clue where the joke begins and ends with these people, but it is brilliant regardless.

Is that little KSWI Jordan in that picture behind the Michael Jordan signed baseball?

Nope. Sorry to get all the hope you invested in that being me. I know it was probably a lot. It is soul crushing to find out that it wasn’t me. That is a picture of Dawgz as a tike with Don Shula. I have never written out the word “tike” before. Usually the word “little” precedes it. He’s just a little tike. It keeps popping up that it is not a word spell check. It’s slang I’m guessing. But remember, I’m not saying “kike” which for whatever reason is in the spell check and is also a racial epithet for the Jewish persuasion. I’m not saying that Dawgz as a child was anti-semetic and dressed up as a Jewish stereotype and met Hall of Fame coach Don Shula. I’m not saying that. I’m saying he was just a little guy and he met the coach. It’s not me in the picture.

Lastly,

I would like to ask a question of my own to y’all the readers. We had discussed a month ago or maybe two months ago the band the Temper Trap and specifically their song “Love Lost”.

My question is: Did any television show use this song in their season/series finale episode? This song is utterly perfect for the closing montage of a season finale. I watched some of the Grey’s Anatomy season finale last night to see if they would use it. It literally couldn’t be any more perfect for a season finale for that type of show. It wasn’t in the episode from what I saw. Maybe Private Practice?

If I had a TV show like that I wouldn’t think of using any other song for the cliffhanger montage sequence right before the closing credits of that season to keep you waiting for the next season than this song. Seriously, it would be perfect for that “I just remembered I love HER!” moments and they need to run and then someone else is dying and someone else is delivering a baby and someone is crying and so forth.

So, has anyone used the song? Go forth and find out my lovely commenters.

Have a great weekend.