July 10, 2009
By now, you are thoroughly convinced that Kristen Stewart wants it. This is knowledge you intrinsically already knew, but had never spoken aloud. From this moment on, every picture you see of Kristen Stewart will only re-affirm the truth that Kristen Stewart wants IT.
But I can hear your cynical brains turning and in a whiney shrill you squeak, “What about other hot chicks? Don’t they want it all the time too?” The answer is no. Not on the same level as Kristen Stewart.
Let me illustrate with the first of many hot chicks: Jessica Biel.
Yeah, she wants it. There are definitely times when Jessica Biel wants it. There are also times when she doesn’t want it…
She looks incredible here. Her boobs look epic. But she doesn’t want it. I think I can safely assume we all want it seeing this picture, but she doesn’t want it.
Right here, she doesn’t completely want it. She is caught in a middle ground of wanting it. She is closer to 70 – 30 of wanting it which is great, but that doesn’t mean she wants it.
She is perplexed about how much she wants it. She wants it. She looks amazing. She is not certain of her own wanting it which creates doubt in her wanting of it.
BOOM – she wants it. This is a good example of her wanting it. She knows she wants it and she is showing us that she wants it.
But what about her in daily life…
That wry smile says she wants it, but it also says she just wants it from JT. He brought sexy back and she knows it. We all know it. So she wants it, but she wants it specifically from J-Tim or someone who also could have had the ability to have brought sexy back if Justin Timberlake already had not.
Here she does not want it. She does not want it even from JT. He does not want it either. This is a conundrum because as mentioned he did bring sexy back and she does not want it from him or anyone at this given moment. This would not have happened with Kristen Stewart. She wants it always; where ever she was at this given moment she was wanting it and she was not even with Justin Timberlake. Meanwhile, Jessica Biel is with JT and all she is doing is talking. Probably about not wanting it.
Oh God, she wants it.
I hope this has perfectly illustrated that Jessica Biel does not want it as much as Kristen Stewart. There is no denying that Jessica Biel does want it from time to time or maybe even most of the time. But where Jessica Biel is the Kevin Garnett of wanting it (12x All-Star, 2004 MVP, 2008 Championship et cetera) Kristen Stewart is Bill Russell (12x All-Star, 5x MVP, 11x Championships et cetera).
July 10, 2009
From the inner thoughts of Robert Pattinson
She wants it. She wants it so bad it makes me want it. I think I want it. Just touching her is starting to make me want it because she wants it so bad.
Wow, she wants it. Cam wants it too. I’m trying to want it, but I’m unsure. Cam seems to want it a lot, almost as much as Kristen. At this given moment it is debatable who wants it more, but over time no one want is more than Kristen.
I’m just not sure if I want it. I can feel her wanting it so bad through my back. It is radiating from her through me. But I’m just not convinced. Is it ok for me to want it?
Oh yeah, I want it. She wants it, I want it, ’nuff said.
Ehhhhh…. uhhhh… I don’t think I want it anymore. I definitely did want it, but I don’t feel it anymore. She wants it. I know she wants it. I can feel it kicking out of her stomach like she is 9 months pregnant of wanting it.
Oh no, she wants it so bad she kicked me out of the picture. I’ve never seen anyone who wants it more than her. I have seen some people who have wanted it a little, but she wants it on a whole new level. She is the wanting it messiah.
This isn’t helping. Kristen I just don’t want it like you. You want it entirely too much. It is unnatural how much you want it.
Ok, I’m trying. Cam wants it again. I don’t know where he has been, maybe getting a recharge of wanting it. He had a want it Red Bull or something. I’m giving it all I got. Kristen wants it even more. She is the Energizer Bunny of wanting it.
Cam looks like he still wants it. Now I’m just confused. What is she even looking at to want? Cam’s want is fading or he may be high. I think Cam is just high. She just wants it so badly.
I’m over it. I don’t want it. I don’t even care if I don’t want it. She wants it enough for all of us. It is almost annoying that she wants it so much. Give it a break already.
AHHH!!! RUN!!! SHE WANTS IT!!! SHE IS COMING FOR IT!!! SHE IS OD-ING ON WANTING IT AND SHE HAS BECOME VIOLENT!!! SAVE YOURSELVES!!! HOPEFULLY THIS TREE SWING WILL PROTECT ME!!!
July 9, 2009
Come on! You have to be seeing this. Are you blind? She wants it so bad, even a blind man could see this. Stevie Wonder knows she wants it. Are there any other blind people that are more relevant for a blind man reference? Why aren’t there? Someone blind had to have done something since Stevie Wonder.
There was Cody in Road House who befriends the brave warrior philosopher Dalton. But that was still back in 1989.
Even in the woods she doesn’t stop wanting it. There is bamboo in those woods and it doesn’t phase her.
Whatever is over there <—- she wants the shit out of it.
July 9, 2009
Oh yeah, she still wants it.
It is all that she wants.
Oh, she’s thinking about it. She’s thinking about it and she’s thinking about how much she wants it. And we’re thinking about how much she is thinking about it, thinking about wanting it and just simply wanting it.
Ella lo quiere. Dios mio, ella lo quiere.
July 8, 2009
July 8, 2009
KristenStewartWantsIT has one goal and that is to impress upon you that Kristen Stewart wants IT. Always. All the time. In every photo. In every frame of celluloid.
There are thousands, if not dozens, of young, beautiful, hot, sexy actors, actresses and models that have their picture taken a million times a day everyday. Then there was the birth of the celebrity gossip blogs which are dedicated 24 hours a day to share with you each and every one of these pictures. When these actors, actresses and/or models are on the red carpet at an awards show or more likely at the opening of a new martini bar, they dress themselves up in the finest of sluttiest clothes and they contort their faces at the camera in such a way that they appear as though they want it. But there are times when these same glamorous neophytes do not have the time or energy or zeal to feign that want it at the paparazzi cameras. It has come to our attention that nobody wants it more than Kristen Stewart.
There is not single recorded second of Kristen Stewart’s existence where she has not wanted it. With every look, with every pose, with every line uttered and every reverse-shot of her listening – she wants it.
Let us begin.
Yeah, she wants it