Vanity Fair

July 10, 2009

From the inner thoughts of Robert Pattinson

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She wants it. She wants it so bad it makes me want it. I think I want it. Just touching her is starting to make me want it because she wants it so bad.

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Wow, she wants it. Cam wants it too. I’m trying to want it, but I’m unsure. Cam seems to want it a lot, almost as much as Kristen. At this given moment it is debatable who wants it more, but over time no one want is more than Kristen.

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I’m just not sure if I want it. I can feel her wanting it so bad through my back. It is radiating from her through me. But I’m just not convinced. Is it ok for me to want it?

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Oh yeah, I want it. She wants it, I want it, ’nuff said.

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Ehhhhh…. uhhhh… I don’t think I want it anymore. I definitely did want it, but I don’t feel it anymore. She wants it. I know she wants it. I can feel it kicking out of her stomach like she is 9 months pregnant of wanting it.

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Oh no, she wants it so bad she kicked me out of the picture. I’ve never seen anyone who wants it more than her. I have seen some people who have wanted it a little, but she wants it on a whole new level. She is the wanting it messiah.

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This isn’t helping. Kristen I just don’t want it like you. You want it entirely too much. It is unnatural how much you want it.

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Ok, I’m trying. Cam wants it again. I don’t know where he has been, maybe getting a recharge of wanting it. He had a want it Red Bull or something. I’m giving it all I got. Kristen wants it even more. She is the Energizer Bunny of wanting it.

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Cam looks like he still wants it. Now I’m just confused. What is she even looking at to want? Cam’s want is fading or he may be high. I think Cam is just high. She just wants it so badly.

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I’m over it. I don’t want it. I don’t even care if I don’t want it. She wants it enough for all of us. It is almost annoying that she wants it so much. Give it a break already.

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AHHH!!! RUN!!! SHE WANTS IT!!! SHE IS COMING FOR IT!!! SHE IS OD-ING ON WANTING IT AND SHE HAS BECOME VIOLENT!!! SAVE YOURSELVES!!! HOPEFULLY THIS TREE SWING WILL PROTECT ME!!!

2 Responses to “Vanity Fair”

  1. aneira said

    ok, she wants it. she definitely does.your so right! i never noticed it til now, but in every picture, in every role she plays, she wants it. someone should end her misery and just give it to her.
    but dont think shell stop wanting it, cuz she has it. o no, shes like the clint east wood of wanting it. the dos equis’ most interesting man in the world of wanting it. she cannot be beat in a want-it-off. shes just that amazing, and wants it that bad.

    btw dude, your sites really funny.

  2. Brookelockart said

    i maybe peed myself a little.

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