Shit About Work and Television – What’s New?

April 21, 2010

Yes, well, yay-ssss -like Antonio Banderas. Yay-ssss, I am quitting. The company I work for was bought by another company a little over a year ago now. That merger between the companies was a very odd purgatory for about 8-9 months. Are we all getting fired? Are we getting new jobs? Are we getting moved? Are we staying exactly where we are? That was a plateaued freefall for the majority of 2009. Near the end of October or the beginning of November, the first round of big cuts to our group happened when we officially joined the new company. At this point, one would think our fate would’ve been decided, but that was optimistic thinking. I just continued and continued to show up at work not learning more about my future here.

The end of 2009 came and went, the New Year brought just as little answers. Eventually, I guess it was in February when they announced who was staying and who was going. I was staying. But not too long after that there were talks about our group needing to move to a new office. It took 8-9 months for the first decisions to be made in this merger, it took several months after that for the next set of decisions, so we had no idea how long it would take to figure out this office move. The new office is farther away than the one I’m at currently and I saw little to no incentive to make the farther drive. Not to gripe, but still to this day I have not been consulted about how I feel regarding anything that is happening with my job or if I wanted to stay or wanted something more or if I’m excited about the new company or well… anything. And I’m by far not the only one who feels that way.

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From February through much of March, we all sat on our hands pondering that next decision regarding the new office move. I had made it clear that I was not expecting to make the move when it happened. People hypothesized that it would be sometime at the end of the summer or maybe at the end of the year. Then the last week of March happened and all of a sudden we received word that we were moving at the end of April to the new office. So… the end of April it is. It appears my last day is either April 30th or April 29th. Not exactly sure. One or the other.

What does May and beyond bring? Hmmm… we’ll just have to see I guess. I am trying to fill up my first month of unemployment with some creative projects. Hopefully, sooner than later the start of some of the videos Dawgz and I have been putting together about that Arnold Fitness Expo will be up. Outside of that, I don’t know. I still have to work the rest of this week and next, so I haven’t been think too hard about what the future brings. I imagine that I won’t be posting 5 times a week because I’m hoping I will be asleep in the morning.

In all honesty, I didn’t think I was going to continue writing this blog past New Moon’s debut in theaters. You’ve gotten a lot more out of me than I expected*. If people wanted to guest blog then I’m comfortable with that. I don’t like the idea that I’m so easily replaced, but whatever. In all optimism, I’m hoping that with my free time I’ll be able to work on making videos and continue writing. So you never know – there could be videos heading your way. VIDEOS! MOVING PICTURES WITH SOUND!

So, what do I do at a job that I quit?

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Well, I’m not moving to the new office, but most of the other people are. Not only are the people, but the whole office has to be moved. This is a fully functional office with files, books and supplies. All of this “stuff” has to be either trashed or boxed up and shipped to the new office. This means I’m arguably the best dressed mover ever. I’m packing up cardboard boxes by the dozens with books that date back to the 50’s. At the same time, I’m also filling up enormous dumpsters with the ugly step children books that no one wants.

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To make matters worse, these files are all C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-T-I-A-L, so they can’t be simply thrown away. They need to be S-H-R-E-D-D-E-D. Or if they are put into boxes they need to be R-E-C-O-R-D-E-D and L-A-B-E-L-E-D and neatly packed away. This means that I’m in a suit more or less doing M-A-N-U-A-L   L-A-B-O-R. I’ve never really quit a job before. Most of my jobs have been for a definite amount of time to work on a project or just a series of months or whatever the case may be. I would normally guess that once you quit you can R-E-L-A-X with the little time you have left. This is quite the opposite.

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The first few days we spent just trashing books. Apparently, no one wants hundreds of leather bound law books from the 70’s. They all went into the trash seemingly for a Nazi/Footloose-esque book burning. Yesterday was an ass ton of shredding. We do use an outside service to do the actual shredding, but we have to put all the paper in huge blue laundry bags. Filling a laundry bag full of paper easily can get over 50 pounds pretty quickly. That was “fun”. The rest of yesterday was spent boxing up 10 pound books that are records of transactions from decades ago. Today is more boxes. You know you’re having fun at an office job when you’re sweating through your suit and the central air system is on high.

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So… yeah. I guess this “Really Real Wednesday”. Or “State of the Union Kind of Wednesday”. I’m excited to see what happens next month. Should be interesting. Hopefully, some good stuff comes out of it*. Before I get back to making boxes and then packing them full of the heaviest books ever, I’ll mention a few thoughts I had last night watching TV:

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Breaking Bad ­– Anyone who does not watch Breaking Bad and chooses to watch some other television program other than Breaking Bad is fucking WRONG! They are making the WRONG decision not watching Breaking Bad. It is the third season of Breaking Bad and it is absolutely tremendous. People debate whether or not this world is “black and white” “right or wrong” – that there is some sort of gray area where someone could be “right” and “wrong”, for instance 75% right and 25% wrong. In that scenario, it isn’t too bad since they are mostly right and only a little wrong. If you don’t watch Breaking Bad you are 100% WRONG. And if you have watched Breaking Bad and you don’t like it or got bored with it then you’re also WRONG and may need to check with a doctor about your brain or central nervous system because the show fucking rocks.

ESPN “30 for 30” – Last year, ESPN started a weekly documentary series called “30 for 30”, which meant 30 documentaries were made about sports to commemorate the 30 years that ESPN has existed. I absolutely love the subjects that each one of these documentaries is about. Or at least, I love what I think they are supposed to be about. Last weeks was about professional basketball star Allen Iverson and racism. They were focusing on Allen being involved in a  fight at a bowling alley when he was a senior high school that started because of some good ole’ racism. During the fight, someone threw a chair into the mess of people and a woman got hit in the head and needed 7 stitches, I think. The woman and some others said Allen threw the chair. Whatever.

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I don’t even feel like going into it. The movie had nothing to do with Allen Iverson and spent the whole time talking about racism in this Virginia town. Who the fuck cares!?! There are racist people in Virginia!?! Oh my God! I’m shocked! There are racist people EVERYWHERE! Who cares about this stupid ass town? Allen doesn’t live there anymore. For a hot minute Allen Iverson almost went to jail for 5 years for supposedly throwing a chair that cut a woman’s head. Yeah, that sucks, but it didn’t happen. Can we talk about Allen Iverson being one of the best athletes of his generation? Can we talk about how Allen Iverson was and still is a polarizing figure? Can we talk about how racism followed Allen Iverson into professional basketball and he was the poster boy for “thugs” in the NBA? Can we talk about how professional basketball players need to wear suits nowadays because of the “Allen Iverson rule” that everyone was scared all the players dressed like gang members? Can we talk about how racist it is to assume that Allen Iverson or other basketball players wearing baggy jeans in their spare time between games is somehow promoting gang culture instead of just promoting modern day fashion? CAN WE TALK ABOUT MOTHERFUCKING BASKETBALL INSTEAD OF SOME STUPID ASS VIRGINIAN TOWN NO ONE WANTS TO GO TO!?!

“30 for 30” is essentially proving that just because you have a good story doesn’t mean you are the storyteller to tell it. Last night’s was about the start of Fantasy Baseball. It all started back in 1980 with a bunch of stereotypical northeastern college educated city Jews and blah blah blah. Man, I was sick of those idiots really quickly in that documentary. I pretty much fall into the stereotypical northeastern college educated city Jew thing myself and I couldn’t stand these guys. Especially, as the story unfolds that they never made any money off of the idea of Fantasy Baseball. BOO FUCKING HOO! And a fraction of the people who play Fantasy Baseball don’t know who made it. BOO FUCKING HOO! There are a lot of people in the world that have created some great things who did not get credit or money. They created a game. Great. And people don’t who they are? Great. How many people know a ton about the creators of Monopoly? Or Candyland? Or Halo? Or Call of Duty? Millions of people play those games and I would bet a fraction of people know who made them. As far as not making money off of it, these guys are not in the poor house because they sunk so much money into Fantasy Baseball and never got anything out of it. These people are fine financially; the big deal is that they aren’t gazillionaires. Who cares?

Lost – I tweeted most of my thoughts on Lost.

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Justified – I like this show a lot. I must confess that I entertain myself sometimes* talking in a southern accent. It was a creation more or less last year for an ongoing joke about Brett Favre between Dawgz and me. The voice doesn’t really sound like Brett Favre, but it embodies what we think the spirit of Brett Favre is – earnest, excited and southern. The guys on Justified talk exceedingly similar to that southern accent, or at least Timothy Olyphant and Walton Goggins do. So I love the show for that. In general, it is a good show because Timothy Olyphant does a great job as a lawman. He was excellent on Deadwood and he is great here. After I watch Deadwood, I’m hard pressed not to do the accent.

I’d suggest watching Justified if you like crime shows with a central law enforcement protagonist solving crimes and killing bad guys. Or I’d suggest watching it knowing that it forces me to talk in a southern accent for the next few hours each time I watch it. It might do it to you too*.

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38 Responses to “Shit About Work and Television – What’s New?”

  1. PWG said

    I am sad for your work-leaving. I feel like my boyfriend (keep reading, NO word works well in that slot) of the last year is moving to Chicago and we haven’t been dating long enough for me to give up my semi-great job to go with him because that puts too much pressure on the relationship plus my family and college friends all still live here, but it’s been long enough that it sounds like a good idea to keep trying the long-distance thing even though everyone in the world knows that never works. Plus we have this cat that we kind of bought together but it lives with him and if he takes it I’m going to miss it, too.

    You’re not my boyfriend, you’re not going to Chicago, I didn’t go to college and I don’t have a cat. But your post kind of gives me that sad little feeling that all that made-up stuff would, too.

  2. PWG said

    “In all honesty, I didn’t think I was going to continue writing this blog past New Moon’s debut in theaters.” Wait, you thought that at the beginning, or you thought that last month? See, I even sound like a girlfriend you’re breaking up with. *narrows eyes suspiciously*

    I like that you’re still wearing the suits to work for 100% absolutely no reason now.

    I quit a job once where they asked me to stay long enough to train my replacement. The first person they hired didn’t stay two weeks, and neither did th next one, or the next one, or the next one. I ended up staying nine more months after I’d given notice before I just gave up and left them with no replacement. It’s a bit freeing to go to work with no pressure on you whatsoever. What are you gonna do, fire me? PLEASE DO, then I can at least collect unemployment.

  3. PWG said

    Change is very stressful, even if it’s beneficial change. I read somewhere that most of the top ten stressful things for people were actually good things like starting a new job, getting married, having kids, things like that. They were higher up than losing your job, moving, even a death in the family. Number one was getting divorced, I think you’re safe on that score.

    So in this comment, I’m now your Mom: while you’re in the midst of all this great new stuff, new opportunities and so on, take extra good care of yourself. Eat right, sleep a lot, be good to yourself. And then get a fucking job that allows you to keep dancing for us, monkey.

  4. Susanelle said

    ::sniff:: This ain’t looking good for Want studies.

    Yesterday I suggested a guest host blogger, but it wasn’t to replace you… it was to underline the significance of the blog.

    But I’ve suspected for a while that you, Jordan, are being seduced away by Twitter. KSWI is the Elin Nordgren and Twitter is the Rachel Uchitel you’ve been fucking around with. It’s not looking good.

    • Clearly you and Pol don’t follow Kay Swidge on le Twatter. I don’t think it’s done any seducing.

      • Susanelle said

        Well, I don’t mean that I see him getting laid on Twitter — I mean, when he started Twitter, he posted one to three times a day, and always grudgingly, like he was in his late 60s and didn’t get this new-fangled technology. Slowly he upped the tweet numbers. Within the last 24 hours he has tweeted 12 times. If you set up a formula and do the math, he will be tweeting 106 times a day in about three weeks.

        He’s chasing the dragon, but this time the dragon is worth it, it’s not expensive hipster coffee.

      • MLF said

        HA! I love it. this is like the math for that guy that fucks three chicks a day

    • Susanelle said

      That said, I’ve never been at the death of a blog and am kind of interested.

      • Lala said

        Come on! How can you be interested in the death of a blog? Especially KSWI?

      • kristenstewartwantsit said

        Um… These comments are all nice, but they are reading like I’m going to die tonight.

        I really hope that doesn’t happen because I have plans this weekend and stuff.

        Also this would be a shitty last day. I am packing binders into boxes in a completely consenual and non-sexual way.

        So I think you all need to think positively and fucking buck the fuck up. Modern Family is on tonight and new episodes of NBC stuff is on tomorrow night.

      • You started it with this “Really Real Wednesday” shit. I’ve been serious like three whole times on this blog, damn it. Let me mourn the loss of my daily distraction in peace.

        Also, NBC isn’t doing it for me anymore, so fuck that. Modern Family, on the other hand, is probably the best comedy since Arrested Development in my very humble opinion. Also I have a wedding tomorrow night which means I’m going to miss the shows anyway. Who the fuck gets married on a Thursday?!

      • MLF said

        dude..some of us don’t have cable. or weekend plans. don’t judge and don’t tell me to buck the fuck up because I can be sad if I want to dammit! and also if you really wanted me to feel better you would send me some cannoli’s. just sayin…

      • Susanelle said

        Come on! How can you be interested in the death of a blog? Especially KSWI?

        Oh, I don’t want it to die, not at all, at all — it’s my favorite blog of the 73 I follow on Google Reader. And that’s saying a lot, because some of those blogs are awesome. OK, possibly 40 of them are meh to me now, and of those 40 perhaps 20 of them should have died long ago. Some of them are in comas but no one will remove the life support and occasionally there’s a new post, like a weak heartbeat. The point is, they never decided to commit blogicide at the height of their popularity, and if someone were to do that… well, that’s interesting. It’s not “good,” or “desired,” or “welcomed,” it’s just inneresting.

  5. PWG said

    Oh good, it’s the all-PWG comment show again today. Well, as long as I’m here:

    “If people wanted to guest blog then I’m comfortable with that. I don’t like the idea that I’m so easily replaced, but whatever.”

    I do like the kinda pouty but whatever, but nobody wants that. You’re irreplaceable. We just don’t want to keep coming back here every day after you’ve wandered away from us and seeing that your final post is still at the top, getting older and older and dustier and all we can do is start at the beginning post and read the whole damn thing over again, lingering sadly at Haiku Wednesday. Next thing you know we’ll be jumping off cliffs just so we can hear a whispered “fucking buck the fuck up.”

  6. Lala said

    Oh, no… you’re not leaving us, right? It’s not like you can be replaced, Jordan – awww.

  7. Pol said

    Let it be noted that I said twitter would be the death of this blog!
    😥
    And I finally got work last week after months of unemployment with only KSWI to look forward to at the end of the day.
    😥
    Sorry about the job thing though…that kind of sucks. I love the pic of Jenna Fischer in the ugly underwear, Blades of Glory was hysterical, loved that movie.

  8. PWG has already covered my thoughts pretty exhaustively, and said it all better than I could. Also less creepily than I could… The long distance relationship thing is pretty accurate, but it’s way less psychotic coming from a married mom half a country away than some lunatic in your backyard. (And before anyone gets too carried away again, I’m not ACTUALLY in his backyard).

    “I don’t like the idea that I’m so easily replaced, but whatever.”
    Ooo… my turn! Fucking buck the fuck up! I suggested PWG start blogging because the idea of not being able to “hang out” with my fellow common taters on a daily basis and write haikus, make veggie puns, sexually harrass strangers, and just bullshit my afternoon away, makes me legitimately sad panda. It’s not to replace you. You can’t be replaced, you fool – if you could, do you think we’d all still be here? I mean, I don’t come here every day for the latest Kristen Stewart news.

    I guess now’s the time to be all sweet and mushy or whatever, huh? Brace yourself, Jordan… it’s about to get all complimenty up in here. Truthfully, no blog in the history of the interwebs has ever held my attention for as long as this one has. I think you genuinely have a talent for writing, but aside from that, a talent for being interesting. I swear that’s a talent, because there are far too many people in this world who aren’t. Thank you for the time you put into writing for us these many months. Aside from keeping me entertained, you’ve helped introduce me to some pretty amazingly hilarious and brilliant people that maybe/hopefully I’ll have the pleasure of meeting one day. I can only pray the scissoring jokes don’t make things awkward if/when that finally happens.

    Good luck finishing the job.* I’m sure you know by now that we all have email alerts set up for new posts, so feel free to update randomly. We’ll all swing by and swoon over you for old times’ sake.

  9. PWG said

    I feel like I wasted the opportunity as first commenter to lead with this.

  10. campbelld said

    Look, I really think I would miss coming here. I really enjoy it. I dont read many blogs on the interwebz more than once or twice, but I just keep coming back here. And that’s something. And we would all be very disapointed if you left.
    But, truth be told, we’d understand. It’s been a hell of a thing and you’ve given us all so much entertainment and so much knowledge about the Want. Your efforts to do so have been nothing short of heroic.
    So, thanks mate. I know you arent going yet, but I can always say it again when you do.
    Justified is unintentionally hilarious and doing manual labour in a suit blows harder than blue whales.
    Also, maybe a guest blog once a week, or for a whole week, would lighten the load? Keep you around a bit longer? Just an idea…

  11. Freya said

    STOP THE EULOGIZING! Geez, I’m not telling you people if I ever get terminal cancer. You all would be throwing dirt on me before I even tried the chemotherapy. He casually mentions leaving, and you freak the fuck out. Even before that, he said he never expected the blog to last more than a couple of months, yet look what happened. It ain’t over till it’s over, people.

    And to become a true Twitter sensation, he needs to start following ordinary yet awesome people. Conan is not half as funny as HB on her best day.

    In other news, my best friend’s daughter was in the season premiere of Breaking Bad. She played Little Mexican Girl with Goat. We were very proud, as you might imagine. That story doesn’t look as good in print as I expected, so I’ll end with FUCKING BUCK THE FUCK UP! And that goes for all of you.

  12. AmyAlmost said

    I have it bad for Timothy Olyphant, I want to go home and watch Deadwood all the way through like I used to before the small child. Why didn’t they finish it? Why was it axed? This new show – will I still have it bad for Timothy Olyphant when watching it?

    Mork sucks. I’ve quit about 14 jobs, fired from one and ended contracts on about 14 other jobs. I’m not really good with commitments.

  13. MLF said

    I am confused. why in the world would you stop blogging when you leave mork? you will have so much time! I don’t mork and let me tell you, it really frees up your day. I am legit bummed when I have to go to class for three hours two days a week. but anyways- I think you are going the wrong direction with this. I think the blog needs to continue being done everyday and infact I would go even further and suggest TWO posts a day. use that brain kay swizzle. or hey, what if you, oh, I don’t know, WROTE A BOOK MAYBE? HMM? or to be more accurate, *published* a book. you should get on that.

    Ok yes we would all be sad if this blog stopped, but how fuckawesome would it be to buy a book from kswidge at barnes and noble? It would be pretty awesome.

    If this blog did stop though, I just want it to be known that I would still come here and comment everyday. On one of the older posts. Could you imagine if we never stopped commenting? Or what if we just continuously commented on the last post? It would get like…thousands of comments. It could become an internet sensation. People would talk about it like, “this blog has the most comments ever in the history of the universe” hilarious. We would be sitting around discussing Jordan’s genius and Kristen’s Want like people sit around re-reading the classics or staring at the Sistine Chapel

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