This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #24

May 7, 2010

It is 11 am on Friday and I just woke up. ZOINKS! It actually is the first of these unemployed days that I’ve slept in. And I woke up to a boatload of zero questions. Yay! There wasn’t a lack of inquiry in general throughout the comments section. There was quite a lot of questioning about the gender and the decision making surrounding the pumpkin dancer. But all of that seems to be settled already.

The pumpkin dancer is clearly a man.

Well, you definitely did ask for a behind-the-scenes peek at KSWI, but I’m about to give you one.


Took my car to get an estimate on the damage. I have been driving my car without getting the most recent damage fixed for about a month. The bumper is getting closer and closer to the rear right tire. Maybe not the best idea to have been driving on it as much as I have, but it happened. Getting fixed this coming Monday. I also picked up some random items from my parent’s house. My parent’s are selling my childhood home. This means there are prospective buyers in and out of the house all day. I got to the house and no one was there. I made the executive decision to go to the larger upstairs bathroom to, we’re all semi-adults here, dump. I finished and almost immediately afterwards did I head someone knocking at the front door to be let in. I did let them in and told them I would only be a few minutes. They proceeded to walk around the house as I was arbitrarily robbing my parent’s house. No seemed to mind.

I grabbed lunch at a local bagel shop/diner. The disparity between the eating public is age. There are jailbait high schoolers and the elderly. Neither group has anywhere else to go. The high school kids are running away from school, but are too young to go to a bar. The elderly are just trying to stay out in public amongst the living, but they’re probably too old for a bar. So bagels and eggs it is.

Went grocery shopping.


Set up my old computer that I stole from my parent’s house. I sat and read old files for hours. I have written so much. SO MUCH. Two full novels, about 10 finished screenplays, countless half finished screenplays, tons of random word files that are several paragraphs to some idea that I never got back to. Just so much. Also, found a copy of my stream of consciousness/poetry/musings that I made in college. So much writing. All of this writing dates at the latest to 2007, and I’ve done a lot of writing since then. What to do with it all?

I also bought a flip cam.


Went into New York City. Took a business meeting. Ate at a Southern styled restaurant above the “Ace of Clubs”, which is a decent place to see a rock show. Good food at the restaurant.

Went into Brooklyn. Hung out and drank some beers.

Dawgz cooked a Spanish themed dinner. I bought Dos Equis and Modelo Especial.

I became a fan of Otis Taylor.


Drove to South Jersey. A video project Dawgz and I are preparing to work on needs to be shot in a high school gym. We have an in at one down there. Had not been in a high school since I graduated from one. We got lost walking around in there trying to find the Athletic Office. Ended up walking into the boys’ locker room. THE STENCH! It was horrendous. I don’t even know how to fully describe what the stink was. If the smell was a soup then sweat and body odor would be the chicken stock. Assorted vegetables would be farts and general toilet smells. But there was something else mixed in. I’m not sure what. Maybe instead of kick ball they might slaughter rotting goat carcasses. Sounds aerobic. It was awful. Then we were informed they clean the place each night. Oh man! Imagine if they didn’t clean that place for a week? It would be biological weapon that would be able to bring doom to us all.

That is until Kristen Stewart, with a clothespin on her nose, wanted IT so badly that a great wind would sweep all the putrid stank up into the Heavens where it would kill all of God’s angels.


Hmmmm… I do not know.

I hope you all have a great weekend.


21 Responses to “This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #24”

  1. PWG said

    I’m sorry you had no questions to answer. Truly, a diary of your week is better than we deserve. First the pumpkin dancer, then the yoga farmer, and next thing you know I’m poring through archives of old public service announcements and commercials. I’m too easily distra-, oh, shiny!

  2. Amy D said

    The theme of today’s post seems to be sharing, so – Today there are 2 Canadian geese doing sentry duty at one of our main doors to get inside. I had to walk competely out of my way to get in another door for fear that they would attack like an episode of Funniest Home Videos. For the record, I see nothing amusing about being brutally assaulted by a goose.

  3. You forgot to include a line in Thursday’s section about how you spent a good hour laughing hysterically at the creepy yoga video posted in your comments, thus clearing up any misconception that Danielle is not the only asshole in the world who thinks it’s funny.

    Also, if you’re still looking for something to do today, my car still needs to be inspected and the light in my living room is still out. Juuuust saying. It’s a party over hurrrr.

    I forgot to ask my question yesterday, but it was horribly lame. Basically I was curious as to whether or not you had any great plans to grow oddly styled facial hair whilst unemployed… I think I’d go for full fu manchu accompanied by a mullet if I had the testosterone to support it.

    • That first stanza is poorly worded… I think there’s an unnecessary “not” in there. So now, I’m an asshole AND illiterate. Awesome.

      • PWG said

        Now is when I confess that I love you for your good grammar, punctuation, spelling and cowboy hat. And the “whilst”s. And when you say a band owns your heart, I love that too. Luckily for you, I have a ball and chain and a heterosexual orientation. Okay, back to the regular programming.

      • Aaand your invitation to the pants party is in the mail, “heterosexual orientation” aside. I have enough tequila to change your mind, even if only temporarily.

  4. PWG said

    If I’d seen this yesterday, I would’ve asked you what the hell is up with Kanellos the Greek protest dog.

    He keeps showing up at “every scene of civil unrest in Greece in the past few years.” Sure, he could just belong to a habitual protester. Or he’s pleased to meet you, hopes you guessed his name. Alternative theories?

    • PWG said

      I totally wouldn’t be able to protest if there was a dog there. I’d be over there petting him and roughhousing with him and telling him, “Goooood boy, who’s a good boy?” until I was teargassed.

      • I love this. I’d be right there with you ooo’ing and ahh’ing over HOW PRECIOUS HE IS, ZOMG!

        I like dogs more than I like [most] people. Once, a friend dragged me to a florist on our lunch break to help pick out flowers for her wedding. Except that when we got there, there was a Golden Retriever. And she sat there and quietly stared at me with a ball in her mouth, until she fell asleep sitting up, still with the ball in her mouth. Sorry, but I don’t give a shit about your flowers, friend — LOOK AT THE PUPPY!!!!! So I played with her the rest of the time. I think the flowers are white.

    • kristenstewartwantsit said

      I saw this as well. I was going to write about it next week. Thanks for ruining that post, PWG!

      He is the Riot Dog. And I love the Riot Dog.

    • PWG said

      I think it’s Disaster Girl’s dog.

      • susanelle said

        OMG, this blog has now paid me back in full for every drop of blood, sweat and tears I have shed for it. Kanellos the Greek protest dog!!! ::head explodes::

  5. kt said

    Aww we all got distracted by youtube videos yesterday and forgot to ask questions. oops. Since its diary day at KSWI ill tell you that my boss told me I’m too good at my job and that I shouldn’t work myself out of a job today. Then he basically insinuated that I should say I’m working when I’m not so that I can keep my hours up but my production down. The problem is I do that anyways… so wtf are my coworkers doing if I’m over producing when I dont even work half the time I’m supposedly working?

    • This sounds an awful lot like a word problem, and I was never very good at those… They’re working a quarter of the time? And probably masturbating the other quarter.

      • kt said

        hahah. It does sound like a word problem. I suck at those too, which is probably why I am having this problem in the first place.

  6. MLF said

    as I type this I am sitting on a balcony overlooking daytona beach. I can hear the waves and there is a lovely breeze- infact the whole scene is so relaxing if I hadn’t already slept twleve hours last night I would probably be napping. anyways. I am way too relaxed to be curious about anything, thus the lack of questions, but if I had to be curious about anything it would probably be why you felt it was important that you told us where in your parents house you decided to take a shit, yet did not inform us of the rest of your bathroom activities/locations throughout the rest of the week. On the other hand you are a man and men rarely make sense.

    • Amy D said

      Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I hate you. And I type that as I’m sitting in a cubicle wasting away my life, and a beautiful rare Seattle day (one which I am only told about, seeing how I’m in the middle of an endless maze. I have heard rumors of windows somewhere in this place…), in a job that requires absolutely no brain power. One might think that is the perfect set up, but it gets old real damn quick.

      Enjoy your waves and lovely breeze (wink and smiley face)…

      • MLF said

        no worries, I would hate me too haha. but I would much much rather be in Seattle than where I am now! (minus the cubicle bit though of course)

        ah well. you know what they say, the grass is always greener and such

    • Amy D said

      That might just be the foot in the door he needs! All his guest spots on national tv due to him glowing could lead the powers that be to discover his insane writing talents.

  7. AmyAlmost said

    Old people here go to pubs/bowls clubs and drink all day. One old lady gave me the run down of why drink on the bus one morning ‘what else is there to do?’ was pretty much the sum of the argument.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: