I Have A Prescription For Ambien Because It Works

June 7, 2010

I fucked up. I take Ambien to sleep. I don’t take it to help me learn the guitar or quit smoking or to help get a better understanding of ancient Sumerian languages. I take it to sleep. I was/am running low on those beautiful powder blue pills and did not think about getting my prescription refilled until too late. The prescription should be showing up some time this week, but as of last night I had two of those pills left. Two of those glorious pills that I can only imagine were the contents inside the Arc of the Covenant.

I took a gamble last night and tried not to use one of the Ambien pills I had. Big big big big mistake. As many could have predicted, including myself, I laid quite sleepless for HOURS. The sun was starting to rise and full strength and I could hear the morning traffic. And I took one. I was asleep in 20 minutes. Should have done that hours earlier. Now I don’t have many hours of sleep under my belt, but at least a few. Until my prescription shows up, this should be an interesting restless week.

Because of that, I’m keeping my comments short today and I’m going to load you all up on music. The first two videos are from LCD Soundsystem’s newest and last album This Is Happening.

This first video is their official music video for their single “Drunk Girls”.

This second video is just the song of track #4 “All I Want”, which is the best song on the album – in my opinion. The rest of the album is also up on Youtube. I feel a bit scummy listening to albums through Youtube. But I also feel scummy from rolling around and sweating in my bed last night and not for any good reasons. I highly recommend “I Can Change” and “You Wanted A Hit”. LCD Soundsystem is an excellent electronic band and even more excellent than their music is that James Murphy (the man behind the mask) is from NEW JERSEY.

This video is the 10th track, I believe, off of The National’s new album High Violet called “England”. This video is of them playing it live in Brooklyn – how very hipster of them… I’m joking I LOVE THEM. I mentioned how much I love them (like a second ago) and how much I love this album before. This is my favorite song off the album and that is why I am presenting it to you all lovely labia-ians(?), labia-ites(?), labia-knights(?).

As far as Kristen Stewart… she wants it. I didn’t watch the MTV Movie Awards. I did see on Yahoo that she won best kiss with Rob. For a second there I was going to write “dip stick” Rob or “dip shit” Rob, but I didn’t. Then I told you about it so I might as well have just written it to begin with.

Kristen should have won best kiss with Dakota Fanning. I think I remember reading that was nominated as well. If it was or wasn’t, that still should have won.

Does anyone remember on Family Matters when Lisa would show the slightest bit of affection to Urkel that he would start making those crazy noises and hump the air and go all stiff*? That’s what Fake-Rob kissing Fake-Kristen looked like to me when I saw New Moon. I am also cynical. And apparently color blind.


19 Responses to “I Have A Prescription For Ambien Because It Works”

  1. susanelle said

    Questions for Friday:
    What is keeping you up at night? Is there a body buried somewhere? What have you done that you can’t sleep the sleep of the just or even just the sleep of the sleepy? How long have you been taking Ambien? Can you not just start having a few beers before bedtime? Why do you even have a bedtime if you don’t have to get into work? Why don’t you smoke a lot of pot, like I do (my “problem” is staying awake)? Are you secretly 40 years old and in a mid-life crisis (about how you’re actually gay)?

    • kristenstewartwantsit said

      This series of questions took a very unexpected turn.

      • PWG said

        That’s what you get for letting your Mom post comments.

        I’m miffed (I tried a lot of words out before settling on that one) that my normal “you’ve got a new post to check out” e-mail didn’t come today. I finally made the extraordinary effort to just click on the KSWI shortcut I have on my toolbar to double-check that you’re still amongst the living. I think I just outed myself as being pathetic.

      • susanelle said

        Wait — does everyone know I’m his mom?

    • MLF said

      susanelle those questions just bumped you from awesome to hero status. for realz. and amen to the “staying awake problem” (and it’s cause, haha)

  2. Freya said

    Sure, you say you’re “color-blind”, but then you define me by my labia? I’m shaking my head now.

  3. LCD Soundsystem: brilliant. The National: brilliant. ‘This Is Happening’ and ‘High Violet’: both brilliant albums. Not sleeping? Not so good.

  4. PWG said

    I don’t take Ambien. I have the blessed ability to fall asleep as soon as I’m horizontal with my eyes closed. Which is why I have sex vertically with a frightening wide-eyed stare. I’m kidding. Almost.

    I have this other disease, called “Refuses to put down her goddamned book and just go to bed, already.” It doesn’t have to be a good book. It doesn’t even have to be a book I’ve never read. That’s why I went to bed at 3:30 a.m. this morning, and then got up at 6:30. My eyeballs feel like they’ve been scraped with sandpaper, and I’ve probably fucked up at least three things at work today that I haven’t even noticed yet.

    I also didn’t watch the MTV Movie Awards. Most awards shows are exceptionally boring and the good stuff is up on the web the next day anyway. Plus I’m sure as hell not watching it live and my Tivo is apparently full of poker shows, Baseball Tonight and Ben 10 Ultimate Alien episodes. I do not control the remote at my house.

    • MLF said

      I suffer from that affliction as well- the “can’t put your book down” disorder, only even more embarrasing for me I will admit that sometimes it is fanfiction I am reading…*hangs head in shame*

  5. MLF said

    My advice parrallels susanelle’s- more pot. weed will make you sleepy, infact I cannot imagine why one would take ambien rather than toke in the first place. but that is just me and we all know how I feel about marijuana.

    In the absence of pot and ambien, I would suggest excercise. Typically if I can’t fall asleep it is because I have gotten too much sleep the night before and not enough physical activity during the day- if your body is physically tired you will be able to sleep, easy. Unfortunately sometimes I also have the opposite problem which would be excercise being what’s keeping you up at night, if you know what I mean.

    I would def. recommend excercising before mid day though, because you will be energized after the workout so if you do it too close to bed you won’t be able to sleep.

    OR OR OR- you could workout to the point of exhaustion, and THEN smoke- you will be put into a coma. seriously. use the buddy system if you’re going to do this because you don’t want to light your couch on fire or break anything, and both of those are real posibilities. well maybe not the fire part but srsly.

    • kristenstewartwantsit said

      Stop pushing drugs on me. You should say “No” to drugs.



      *looks around for cops*

      *doesn’t see any*


  6. You silly vaginas. Pot costs money. Jordanis, King of the Hairy Unemployed, doesn’t have a ton of that right now.

    I’ve learned that a good hike and some fresh mountain air will tire you out. I’ve also learned that listening to Meatloaf’s “I Would Do Anything For Love” with one’s father is even worse ever since the infamous EEL SEX day.

    • cledbo said

      Eel sex!

      That will never get old.

    • MLF said

      wait, drugs cost money? I guess people without boobs have to pay for a lot of stuff, huh? teee heee. (winking face)

      also, WHAT THE MOTHER EFFING EFFF DID EEL ## HAVE TO BE MENTIONED FOR?! Good lord HB I wanted to eat dinner tonight! I will forgive you because I love you but I am starting believe I will never be free from this eel phobia at this point. If I end up in therapy over this I will be expecting gift baskets full of sex toys and perscription drugs.

      (don’t worry Jordan I’ll send all the ambien your way)

  7. cledbo said

    Best way to fall asleep? Spend 15+ hours lugging around really heavy things while it drizzles just enoughto get you damp* but not enough to actually get all the mud off you. Add in frustrating 30 year old technology and lots of people senior to you asking you questions you should but don’t know the answer to and TADA. You’ll be asleep on the ground wrapped in a sleeping bag in no time.

    I can’t watch any of your videos. But I will, eventually.

    In case anyone cared, (do you? do you really?) I’m going Terra Incognita for the next week or so, out to where the grass is non-existent, and the water gives you kidney disease (I’ll be taking my own water).

  8. Lala said

    Today’s post went straight to spam and I thought something terrible had happened and Jordan couldn’t write and there would be no more blog and… yeah. But anyway, about the sleeping thing. What happened to you is exactly why I don’t take anything to sleep. I can barely sleep on a normal day, if I started taking something I would never ever ever sleep without it again.

  9. amanda said

    i like lcd soundsystem. all of their songs are ridiculously long though. on a twenty minute car ride, my brother and i were able to listen to like 5 songs at most.
    did i ever mention how drag me to hell is hands down the best horror movie of our generation? okay well it is. there is absolutely nothing bad about that movie. it is cinematic perfection.

  10. cledbo said

    question for fri even tho i wont c it til sun (sending from phone, can u tell?) – if i marry mr. cledbo then have him cheat on me with a nazi biker broad, will ScarJo pash me on live tv too?

  11. CampbellD said

    Wow, late comment. Sorry, been get my drunk on in NYC. Wow, now I sound like some useless TEENAGER. Damn punk kids with their skateboards and stickers. Beer is my suggestion. Weed is good, but I always sleep really badly after smoking. Like dreams with monsters and Carrot Top.
    Question: How hard should I got after my Williamsburg-living lead-singer-I-met-one-time Aussie chick crush? Is that like a dream girl scenario right there?

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