This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #29

June 18, 2010

Another week down and X number to go. Today’s Friday weekly wrap up will be a short one. In fact, I will be nowhere near a computer when this post is “published”. I will be in New York City and most likely a little tipsy from the morning drinking while watching USA vs. Slovenia. I will have the post already prepared and ready to go. I will send a radio frequency signal to my robot clone who will be sitting in front of the computer at my apartment waiting for this signal to be sent. Once said signal is received it will press the “publish” button on WordPress for me and, more importantly, for you.

And to answer your next Friday’s question – Yes, my robot clone is an “it”. It was made specifically with no sexual organs just in case the unthinkable happens and the robot clone turns against me. Also, if I did have a girlfriend I wouldn’t want the robot clone to get any ideas – with me or without me, ie no devil’s threesomes with the robot clone.


What did you get for your birthday? What did you want, but didn’t get?

Got: Clothes. Money. A coffee mug.


Didn’t get: KSWI commentator orgy.

I was wondering if in the future when you look back at photos of yourself from this very important day in history, what will you remember of the reasoning behind the fact that you are sporting what I assume is a mountain-man/hobo styles beard? Will you have a chuckle to yourself and remember with fondness the summer of unemployment where you decided to grow out your beard all for the entertainment of your lovely/crazy commenters on that crazy/mildly popular blog about how Kristen Stewart WANTs It, which you wrote for basically a whole year of your life?

Well, I have had birthdays with a mountain-man/hobo style beard before. It’s been awhile since I have had a beard this long, but it certainly isn’t the first time.

Do You Wanna take over the KSWI Facebook Page?

No. I’m perfectly fine leaving it in your perfectly capable hands. Plus I’m lazy.

My Friday question is, what would you add?

Ahhh yes. The list.

I have read 10 books on that list. I have read parts of some of the others and I’m not sure if I read that kid’s book or not. I could have read the kid’s book and not remember. I wasn’t exactly choosing what books I was reading back then. The list is ok. There are a few books on the list that I really do want to read like Lolita and Catch-22. I’ve seen the movies and I’ve been told the books are great. I don’t like Gabriel Garcia Marquez as a writer, so I don’t care about that book at all.

As for books I think that should be on a list for people specifically under 30:

On the Road – most definitely. It is a romantic traveling adventure by people who under 30.

Fight Club – most definitely. It is for the angry suburban 20 year old who is considered an adult, but has never had the defining moment to force them into adulthood. Meanwhile they are being forced into a valueless commercial world that they have no stock in.

Rum Diary or Hell’s Angels or something by Hunter S. Thompson – most definitely. The man is writing for the same people that Kerouac and Chuck are writing for as well.

You Shall Know Our Velocity – most definitely. I think we should all be sensing a pattern here. These are all books about and for the under 30 crowd.

Race Matters – most definitely. People should read Cornel West’s writings regardless of age. But I think people should attack issues like race when they are young before they get set in their ways.

Our Band Could Be Your Life – most definitely. Again this book easily could be read after 30, as the others could be too. But this book is a great musical history lesson of the bands of the 80’s that helped set the stage for Nirvana to overtake Michael Jackson on the Billboard charts. Excellent book.

There are tons of great books like East of Eden and Huck Finn and so forth, but let me skip to some educational books. The list mentions a few scholarly books to either sound smart or to prove the point that people should be reading scholarly stuff too. In that case, I think people should read books like Civilizations and its Discontents. You all know that I’m a big Freud fan, so that should be no surprise. Specifically for an under 30 crowd, I would suggest reading thinkers like Camus and Sartre and Kierkegaard. Existentialism is definitely a way of thinking that is sexy for the young romantics out there who are frustrated, angsty, and searching. Also, they are great writers. Sartre’s plays are p-h-e-n-o-m-e-n-a-l.

I would also say that people should take a look at this book called “The Bible”. Take a gander at the thing for yourself instead of listening to what people tell you it says in there.

Is it cool if I write another guest post? About America?


Is a quarter keg the same thing as a pony keg?

Yes. Do you want some? It is still sitting in my apartment.

And I hope you all have a great weekend. I hope USA has given Sloven a swift taste of defeat by the time I post this. I’ll see you all next week.

Thank you for all the birthday wishes.


31 Responses to “This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #29”

  1. Pinkies up, Jordan.

    The beard’s looking good. Have fun getting drunk. I’m an idiot for not extending my funemployment…

  2. PWG said

    I’m a fan of the beard, and the Very Serious Expression that you’re sporting in that picture. Overall you’re looking very metrosexually groomed, with no workplace to show it off. The next time I’m unemployed I’m going completely feral within the first week.

    • The Very Serious Expression is making him look like a young John Goodman. Am I the only one that sees that?

      Admittedly, I feel a little creepy staring at the picture so I’m going to stop now.

      • susanelle said

        No, you are not the only one — I think he looks a hellovalot like the young, handsome John Goodman.

        Jorje, John Goodman and Max Weber: Devil’s Triplets!

        So, Jordan — don’t balloon to 400 pounds 20 years from now, k? We’ve seen what it will do to your looks.

      • tiffanized said

        I love John Goodman in any format. A big man is a beautiful thing.

      • True story: I went through a period of time where I regularly watched Roseanne reruns on Nick at Nite at like 2am. And I may have thought “Dan Connor” was the best thing ever during that time. I think it’s the teddy-bear-ness. Good to know I wasn’t the only one with a crush on John Goodman, though I’d be willing to bet I was in the minority of ladies my age at the time.

        I just saw a picture of John in a tux a few days ago, and he’s looking quite dapper. High five for our unorthodox celeb crushes, Rod.

  3. susanelle said

    Cool mug! Next time the blog has a talk show episode, I hope we’ll see it on the desk being drunk out of by Kristen or a guest.

  4. Lala said

    I like your mug. Are you trying all the mustaches there?

  5. kt said

    I’m watching the game and the only thing I have to say is that a few of those Slovenia boys are very attractive. OMG SECOND GOAL AS I TYPE THIS!!!! EXCITING!!! SHOUTY CAPITALS!!!

  6. kt said

    I think you should try number 13 on that mug.

  7. raven said

    Swear to God, you and my husband could be related you look so much alike. Anyway,I’m glad you had a great birthday. I’m digging your mug and am wondering if that would be an appropriate Father’s Day gift for my man.

    Have a great weekend everyone!

  8. PWG said

    I tried to find some free celebrity face-matching site that I didn’t have to sign up for, and I uploaded that picture. For what it’s worth, it came back with Patricia Arquette, Jensen Ackles and Kanye West.

    • susanelle said

      Jensen Ackles, of course… Patricia Arquette, yeah, sure… but KANYE WEST???? KANYE WEST LOOKS LIKE THE WHITEST GUY IN THE WORLD???

      • It’s probably the same site that told Tiff she looked like Rod Stewart, and me that I looked like Wayne Brady. It also told me I looked like Kate Bosworth. Opposite ends of the spectrum there. And honestly, I’m pretty sure I land more toward the Wayne end of it. I’ve made my peace with that. After all, my panda ears probably would’ve come in handy as a prop on “Whose Line Is It Anyway”.

      • PWG said

        I know, and yet the picture they found of Kanye does look remarkably like our test subject:

        Imma let you finish and all.

        Sadly, this isn’t the one that came up with Patricia.

      • PWG said

        George Michael seems to be pulling off #13 quite well.

      • susanelle said

        the picture they found of Kanye does look remarkably like our test subject

        ::high-pitched hooting::

        Holy fuck they do look alike!!!!

      • It’s all about the angle of the picture usually (as you can tell by the one I just ran on myself in which I got everything from Ashton Kutcher to Angeline Jolie, wtf? Maybe the panda ears threw them off…), but I totally DO see the Kanye resemblance. WEIRD. But this does give us a new nickname: Jordanye. Huzzah.

      • susanelle said

        I can’t believe how much you look like Ashton Kutcher there! I have dried out my eyeballs staring at that in amazement.

        Also, love “Jordanye.”

      • If I have to look like a man, fine. But why Ashton? With his annoying camera commercials. I wonder if “I’ve been told I look like Ashton Kutcher” would work in the bars… Maybe it would have with the tiny bisexual girl that hit on me a few weeks ago. That is not even remotely a joke, btw.

    • susanelle said

      Well, you and Ashton are two good-looking people. It’s a set of looks that works on both genders. ::shrug::

      What if you met and had his love-child!

      I think there’d be some kind of DNA rip in the space-time continuum!

  9. Freya said

    I’ve read ten of those books, too, and portions of eight others. I thought I might do better as an English teacher, but I really don’t think some of those should appear as canon for the under-30 set. Especially as I dislike Dickens immensely, and think Catcher in the Rye is whiny. Yup, I said it. I’m reading E.M. Forester this summer instead.

    Look! It’s a comment without any humor or sarcasm. I feel weird.

    • tiffanized said

      There are a lot of books on that list that I feel like I read, but I’m not sure if I did or not. This is what happens when you read 60-80 books a year.

  10. MLF said

    I’ve read eight of those books…I am actually impressed since I have awful taste in books a lot of times (I like reading twilight and gossip girl…nuff said)

    and I am sooo excited about campbelld’s guest post on America! If it’s half as funny as his tweets/twitters/whatever (which are already hilarious) then it is going to be fantastic. (no pressure dude!)

    also, for some godforsaken reason after a night of heavy drinking (it was one of my roomate’s 21st birthday, for those that frown upon weekday drinking, but to you I still say, Thirsty Thursdays!!!! get witht it!!) I ended up being awake to see the US play some soccer this morning and I think that ref was a terrorist. that is all.

  11. tiffanized said

    Cornel West is on my list of men I think are sexy purely because they are so fucking smart. Also on the list: Bob Woodward, who I met, and who has tremendously smooth hands for an adult man.

    That book list. Why would people need to read A Clockwork Orange? I hated that book so much that I sold it on eBay just to get it out of my home. I think it’s one of those books everyone says they like because they think they are supposed to, but they don’t really like it and probably don’t get it. But I hated everyone’s favorite book To Kill a Mockingbird too, so maybe I’m just an idiot.

    Definitely read Lolita. It’s a fairly easy read and Nabokov totally makes you sympathize with this murdering misogynist with a penchant for pubescent girls. Disturbing but such good writing and storytelling.

  12. PWG said

    I’ve gotten to 15 of the books. To be fair, and somewhat depressing, I’ve had an extra 13 years on Jordan to get the extra ones in. The bonus one at the bottom, Honeymoon with My Brother, looks pretty good. I’m going through some sci/fi books right now, and those hardly ever make any lists. I like to read 4 or 5 books in a genre or by a writer and then move on for a bit. The summer of Westerns was fun, the summer of James Rollins/Dan Brown was hideous, the winter of Stephenie Meyers was embarrassing.

    I read the Harry Potter books aloud to my kids this year. It took a long time, but I enjoyed them more that way than I did reading them on my own. That’s been a fun part of being a parent, introducing the kids to books and movies. I think the window for molding them is pretty small. You have to get it all in between when they understand the spoken language and about 14 I think. After that apparently our opinions will be worthless.

    • MLF said

      I think it’s sad that teenagers are so disrespectful to their parents and adults in general. I guess I was never the typical teenager but I’ve always respected my parents and asked their advice/opinions on almost everything. Which isn’t to say that I didn’t blatantly disregard it a lot of times, or disobey them in general (I doubt they would approve of OP:F&B and they would probably die of shock if they heard about OP:F&S) but I’ve always valued their opinions. They have literally thirty two years of knowledge more than me and are super spiffy and usefull at basically everything. I am very pro-parents. and pweeg you are super awesome so if your kids every get snippy with you I hope you lay the smack down on them and let em know whats up- that you are the shiz.

  13. cledbo said

    Sitting in the bush freezing my va-jay-jay off at the moment, so I’ll be brief. That mug is the best present you’ve ever received, isn’t it? For the next 2-3 weeks it is, anyway (moohoohahaha).
    I don’t know why the evil laugh was necessary, but I felt it and went with it.

    Fuck its cold. Only…3 hrs til bed, then 5am shift woo. Anyway, thank you for answering my question, and if one of us wins big on lotto, your dream may yet come true

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: