This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #32

July 16, 2010

Let’s get into it, that’s what she said.

Dawgz and I saw a midnight screening of Inception. The movie 2 and a half hours long, the previews are 20 some odd minutes before that and then after the movie is over you need to spend a solid hour or so convincing yourself not kill anyone or blow anything up or jump off a building because you are not in a dream world and there are real consequences to the actions I mentioned. …. or THAT’S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BELIEVE!!!!

We both liked the movie a lot. It is a roller coaster ride. And even better, it is clearly heavily inspired by On Her Majesty’s Secret Service by far the BEST James Bond movie. Speaking of, I re-watched Goldfinger and it pales in comparison to OHMMSS. Although, Goldfinger does have the Pussy Galore character who is very attractive. Also, she says “no” – if you just keep sexually harassing her and when she fights you back you fight her back, eventually she falls in love with you and just goes with it. Which I’m pretty sure is a dating tip everyone knows is sure fire.

So, I slept in. I tried to at least. I set my alarm for 11am, but then shut it off. I had only gotten like 6 hours or less of sleep, so I went back to sleep. When I closed my eyes, BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BBBBBAAAAMMMMM BBBB BAMB AMBAMBA MABAMB AMB AMB MABBMABAMBAMBMA BAMB

A FUCKING PARADE GOES BY MY WINDOW! A FUCKING PARADE!?!!!!?!!!!?!

They didn’t literally go by my window because I’m on the third floor, but they went right underneath my window. Insane! I don’t feel like looking up what Saint’s holiday it is or whatever semi-Pagan holiday it is, but rest assured it was the same holiday I believe they celebrated in Godfather II. I had to wait out the parade before I could go back to sleep.

I only noticed two questions from yesterday:

Bars close at 2am… sort of – Most bars in Jersey close at 2am, but there are loopholes. One is called the “lock-in”. If you are in the bar before 1:30am or so, the bar locks the front door and no one new can show up, but the people inside can party past 2am till whenever the bar feels like closing. But by and large they close at 2. I’m not sure if the staggered closing of bars does anything because no matter what time it is when the bars close people will pound drinks as if booze will cease to exist the next day. It is just human nature.

Rollerblades are lame – For guys at least they are. If I saw a lovely lady wearing rollerblades, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t give a fuck or call her lame. I give a lot of leniency to women and the things they do, mostly it is because I find them sexually attractive and everything someone you want to have sex with does is fine. But, guys wearing rollerblades is pretty lame.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo – I was asked on Twitter if I was going to review this. Well, um… so this is what chicks want to read about. By and large, I thought the movie/story/plot/graphic sexual violence was pretty much a two and a half hour episode of Law & Order: SVU. It seems like everyone has read the book or if they haven’t… um SPOILERS!!!!!!!! With in the first hour of the movie, the main character girl with the dragon tattoo is raped twice. And right about the 58 minute mark, SHE RAPES THE GUY WHO RAPES HER. For fuck’s sake! What the hell am I watching!?! Oh, it’s a murder mystery, right? About a computer hacker and newspaper reporter, right? But instead it is rapefest 2010 and I don’t know if it will ever stop. So in the first hour there are 3 rapes. Wonderful, just great.

The next hour and a half, has less rapes on screen, but a whole lot more rapes that you hear about. Oh yeah and MURDER. Fuck this movie was depressing. Sure I’ve seen bloody movies and violent movies and blah blah blah, but I knew going in they were going to be that way. I was completely unprepared for this and everything was just so sadistic and cruel. Wonderful. Now I can’t sleep at night because I’m worried the male subset of Sweden is going to rape me. I mentioned on twitter – if you are a woman … DON’T GO TO SWEDEN! IT IS UNSAFE THERE FOR YOU!

Besides the rapes and murders, the movie is pretty good. I mean it a decent enough mystery story. The acting is good from the two main characters: reporter and dragon tattoo girl. The movie came out internationally in 2009 with the rest of the trilogy and a TV show I believe. And, in America the movie came out in March 2010 at art house theaters and for whatever fucking reason it will be remade by David Fincher supposedly for a 2012 release date. Why not just release the movies that were already made and getting good reviews into major theaters? Well, becaus America kind of hates foreigners? I guess.

People want Kristen Stewart to play the dragon tattoo girl. I am not one of those people. I see why they want her to play that character. Especially if you look at Kristen as Joan Jett you can see at least some body language and some wardrobe similarities. My problem with it is that Kristen looks young and is younger than what the role calls for. The girl with the dragon tattoo I believe is supposed to be 24. The actress in the current movie looks older than 24 and also acts older than 24 in my opinion. That is a good thing. Twenty four is a little young for the role in general and having an older person or a person who acts older than that brings about a lot more validity and maturity to a character who is very dark and distant and sexual and blah blah blah. Also, she bangs the reporter guy who looked like he was 44. Kristen banging a 44 year old looking dude would be weird. I thought it was weird looking when she was banging Ryan Reynolds. So, I think Kristen is too young looking and feeling for this role.

Also, I’m tired of seeing mell0ncolly, brooding Kristen Stewart. I don’t really think that is her calling to play those types of characters. The best parts of The Runaways for Kristen Stewart were not the ones where she was the “troubled” Joan Jett and were instead the times when she was having fun. Let the chick have fun in a damn movie. Or have her play a deaf character. A deaf character who also has fun.

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13 Responses to “This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #32”

  1. Lala said

    I didn’t know what “Inception” was about, but it seems like a good movie and blah blah blah.
    Also, I don’t see why only guys look lame in rollerblades, I think anyone can look lame with them.

  2. I really want to see Inception. I have no clue what it’s about, but ever since I saw the preview many months ago, I’ve been intrigued. You’d think I’d do some research, but that requires effort. I like Leonardo DiCaprio. I really like Ellen Page. I like trippy things and blowing things up. That seems like plenty of reason to see a movie.

    Side note: I’ve never seen a single James Bond movie in my 26 years on this planet. But I’ve logged countless hours of GoldenEye. Holla! Where my N64 peeps at?!

    I think I just blacked out.

    I just finished The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo a few weeks ago. I didn’t care for it. It was so full of the most mundane, trivial detail that I found it very difficult to concentrate and push through*. Generally speaking, I like things to be succinct. That’s probably surprising since I think we can all agree that I am anything but succinct. But to me, TGWTDT had too many characters, too much useless information, a nearly unnecessary side plot (the whole Wennerstrom thing, for those who have read it – not sure if that even makes it into the film), and really wasn’t translated well. Plus the whole thing seemed to climax rather briefly and abruptly*. Though if you stripped all of that out, I did get the impression it would make for a good movie. A very typical murder mystery type movie, but an entertaining one nonetheless. Or maybe a particularly scandalous “very special episode” of Murder: She Wrote. So anyway, I’d like to see it.

    • You know, that whole “I like things to be succinct” statement probably isn’t all that surprising, considering I actually *gasp* enjoyed a certain series that reads a lot like a “See Spot Run” kind of book.

      Bella looked at Edward. Edward was hot. (Like really hot.) Edward was different. Edward smelled good. Edward had bronze hair. Edward had a hot bod. Edward sparkled. Edward was a vampire! Bella was plain. Bella was a klutz. Edward loved her anyway. Bella felt unworthy. Edward disagreed. And they all lived happily ever after.

      Ta da!

      • MLF said

        “Edward was a vampire!” *gigglesnort*

        Have I told you lately how much I love you? Because I do. so very, very much.

  3. PWG said

    I was thinking Ellen Page for the Americanized version of TGWTDT. She’s tiny, and she’s young but the character’s supposed to look like she’s much younger than she is. Although I’m with HB, I didn’t much care for the book. It was okay, a little boring, a lot rapey/incesty and frankly full of people behaving in a way no one would really behave.

    I got tired of how irresistible Blomkvist (is that righ? I’m doing it from memory) was to women young and old. Then I heard they were considering Daniel Craig for the Finch version and thought okay, I could see that. The sleepingwith part, not the actual movie. I think I read the Swedish title of the book was something like, “Men Who Hate Women.” I think they should have kept the title, you would’ve had a better idea of what you were getting into.

    I already have the next two books on my Kindle because my husband downloaded them, but I don’t know if I’ll bother.

  4. PWG said

    I guess I should have asked this yesterday for my Friday question. I have the rare babysitter and I’m going to actually watch a movie AND have dinner with Mr. PWG tonight. Predators or Inception? I want to see both, but I can only see one with someone and the other I have to see alone. I know you’ve seen both, help me out here. It’ll need to go well with tapas and wine, thank God.

    • MLF said

      Inception for shizzle. Ellen Page- Ellen Page- Ellen Page. nuff said.

      also incase it was unclear- I effing love Ellen Page!

    • kristenstewartwantsit said

      Well – it depends on whether you (and Mr. PWG) want “blood thirsty action that is kind of cheesy” or “roller coaster Matrix-y pseudo Bond film”?

      The movies are not at all similar.

      My immediate reaction to “tapas and wine” would be “Inception”. Because wine is supposed to be classy and there are some beach scenes in “Inception” to go well with tapas.

  5. MLF said

    we never have parades in Florida. I feel very deprived. The only parades I have ever been to have been the parades inside of the theme parks, like at Disney or Universal Studios. To be fair, they are very, very good parades. Highly entertaining, especially if you are eight, but the even better part about these parades is if you Don’t watch them and instead choose to go on the rides, there is a much shorter wait line.

    When I was still in high school I had three (THREE!) opportunities to march/sing/dance in the Macy’s Day Parade, and I never did. At the time my reasoning was: “why the fuck would I want to march several miles on a day that is supposed to be celebrating food? I should be sitting and eating, not marching.”
    Now I look back and kind of want to slap my younger self.

    the ironic part is that I never did just sit around eating- I always ended up working at the barn because no one else wanted to and you got double pay since it was a holiday. and also it let me escape my family right after dinner which is when the arguments about politics and religion start. good times.

    • Amy D said

      Tis the season for parades in my town. Every summer Seattle and the surrounding cities gear up for Seafair. There are parades in every city, the big one* is downtown Seattle in August. There are cultural days and food festivals. Good Times. This weekend I’ll be gaining a pant size at Bite of Seattle, seeing Kings of Leon and going to the United Indians Seafair pow wow (the kids are Native, not me).

      The point of all that, we have a lot of parades around here.

      Hope everyone has a GREAT weekend. We had a bbq and field day at work (yup, I’m 12 again!!) and now we get to go home 2 hours early. At times life can be damn good…..

  6. kt said

    I just started reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo last week. I read a chapter and got bored so I stopped. I didn’t read your review because I’m still deciding if I wanna continue reading it, and I might one day when there is no fanfiction left.

  7. campbelld said

    I read Dragon Tattoo in a single afternoon. I read a lot of crime fiction, some of it utterly, utterly awful, so when there is a good one like this, it makes it a lot easier to enjoy.

    I’ve been skeptical about Inception for a while now, becuase it seemed like a bunch of awesome people who all have good track records were due for a major screw up and something wierd like this was perfect for that screw up. But I keep hearing how good it is, so now I’m getting excited for it.

  8. amanda said

    I agree with the whole Kristen Stewart-needs-to-stop-playing-broody-characters thing
    i understand that those are the roles that speak to her, but thats the only kind of character that she can play. As an actress, her job (literally) is to push the limits and break the boundaries of her self-conscious demeanor.
    There are plenty of great actors out there that are just as shy and awkward as she is, but they know that once the camera is rolling they have to become a different person (literally).
    Can someone please give that girl a wake up call?

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