You Could Possibly Win Free Things From This Site
July 22, 2010
First, I would like to mention yesterday’s guest blogger Freya and thank her for writing that very lesbionic post. Actually, I should really mention first that I’m distracted watching the movie Sugar as I type this. Wait. They both can’t be “first”. One has to be second. Or do they? Ok, I think I got this.
Thank you Freya for being an excellent Dominican baseball pitcher in the minor leagues. Your struggles with steroids and same-sex feelings for big busty broads are entertaining, which is surprising since I have not liked baseball since I was a kid. Going into this post I was expecting to like it because it was directed and written by the same duo who made Half Nelson. I will admit I’m finding the storyline a bit confusing because I came late into Dita Von Teese. I also cannot get enough of Christina Hendricks and I would absolutely do anything to put my face between those great big dark brown Caribbean born hands. Well, Freya Sugar, thank you.
Honestly, I am watching Sugar. What the hell is going in this movie? Is he in Brooklyn now? And he’s not playing baseball? Shouldn’t the movie have ended immediately after he gave up on baseball. He better start pitching again. He better come out to pitch in the ninth inning to “Wild Thing” or this movie blows. Ugh, he’s a bus boy now! I didn’t start watching this movie to watch some kid wash dishes. I could literally do that in my kitchen. Hey Dawgz, we should wash some dishes. Ok, “Ax”. Then we would wash dishes, which would be way better than watching this kid watch dishes even in “3D”. Lastly, maybe or maybe not Dawgz refers to me as Jordan “The Ax” Newmark. There really is only one way to find out: reality TV show! Someone get us a reality TV show like Rob & Big – Dawgz & Ax.
It’s about time I address the title of today’s post.
KSWI will be having its first contest and giveaway.
KSWI will be having its first CONTEST and GIVEAWAY!
KSWI IS HAVING A CONTEST AND GIVEAWAY!
KSWI … CONTEST … GIVEAWAY!!
“Kristen Stewart wants IT and so do I”
We all understand by now that Kristen Stewart wants IT. We should also understand that she is not the only person who wants IT. Everyone wants IT at some time or another and in their wanting IT they are actually reflecting one perfectly beautiful moment of the infinite want of Kristen Stewart. So, what the contest is about is people sending pictures of themselves “wanting IT” and/or doing an impersonation of Kristen Stewart wanting IT. As mentioned, in some way all wanting IT is an impersonation of Kristen Stewart wanting IT. What I meant, is you can either gain inspiration from Kristen Stewart’s wanting IT by looking at her pictures and movies and then cull your wanting IT look/pose or you can try your best at recreating one of the iconic Kristen Stewart wanting IT pictures of your own choosing. Littered through this post are examples of K-Stew wanting IT, obviously, use them wisely.
Sugar just ended. *shrugs* The movie kind of should have stopped exactly when he quits the minor league team. Nothing after that mattered.
Anyway, back to the contest.
All contest pictures can be sent to email@example.com . I will post the pictures and your sacred identities will remain anonymous. And you the commentators will choose the winner through some type of voting system I’ll concoct. Maybe email voting as well.
That already is a good enough prize: ETERNAL GLORY! This will be the first definitive contest deciding who wants IT the best. I have never seen a “wants IT” contest before, have you? You will be the GRAND CHAMPION of wanting IT if you win this. You may or may not be the “undisputed” champion because that may need to be settled in a cage match of wanting IT between you (GRAND CHAMPION) and Kristen Stewart (young Hollywood starlet most famous for a slew of below average vampire movies who seemingly is the personification of the immortal emotion of “desire”).
Besides GLORY, there will be actual prizes. At the very least, there will be a $40 gift card to the Consumer Shopping Network. Why? Because I have a $40 gift card to the CSN for writing that hilarious post about bathroom vanities. Make sense now? I am going to acquire some more giveaway items on top of this and I will mention them when I get them. Most likely it will be more gift card style prizes. And maybe some really random stuff I think up – maybe a used copy of Batman and Philosophy. Good book, by the way.
All pictures need to be in by August 9th. Voting will take place that week. The winner(s) will be announced at the end of that same week.
To sum up:
Send contest pictures to firstname.lastname@example.org (no limit on the amount of pictures for the contest as is there is no limit to how times a person wants IT) between NOW and August 9th. Win fabulous contest prizes.
Ok, so when I get all the prizes together I’ll post them, which will be next week. I wanted to get the contest out there and get your ideas churning. And I will be entering the contest as well. I can’t win it officially, but I can certainly win it unofficially. THE GLORY! Dawgz is entering it as well. So, basically what I’m saying is all the cool kids are doing it and if you want to be a cool kid then you have to as well. PEER PRESSURE!
Questions for Friday.