KSWI Guest Blogger Wednesday… oh who are we kidding

July 28, 2010

No guest blog today because no guest blogger.

This morning I had an insane dream that had Dawgz and my Dad in it. We were in some small Rhode Island town where everyone was having barbecues and picnics. We joined one particular barbecue. We ate some hot dogs and so forth. Eventually, everyone funneled into a house because it was getting dark out or would get dark out soon I suppose. We took seats in the living room and someone turned on the TV. That’s when maybe the most ridiculous movie ever came on.

It had some really long name about a cigarette smoking man and some other guy and it was all in Spanish. The movie starts and it is some 70’s style action movie. And it stars Burt Reynolds. He looked like he did in Deliverance. He looked massive. During some action scene, Burt needed help during a fight and BOOM who comes into help Tom Selleck. He looked like a beast. He looked straight out of his Magnum PI days – shirtless, tan and hairy. They fight some guys and the next scene showed who they were fighting for or more or less who they were rescuing from the bad guys: Little Richard. Yes, that LITTLE RICHARD. Unreal. His hair was straightened and down around his face and he was wearing a mariachi suit.

The movie continues and, at some point, I notice the people in the room who are watching the movie with me: creepers. It was some PCP junkie type looking guys. They are now passing around pipes for people to share in their own wayward drug decisions. They keep whispering, “It’s got that zombie in there.” And I’m thinking to myself, “I don’t want to be a zombie.” So after a few tense moments of what’s going to happen when I say no to “zombie” in a room full of PCP junkies who are all watching a Mexican action movie featuring Little Richard, Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck – I then was unceremoniously woken up to Eminem’s hit single with Rhianna BLARING! FUCKING BLARING! Some repairman van is parked on the street with their radio turned to 11.

Anyway – Shameless plugs…

Check out the KSWI Contest page at the top – email all entries to jordankswi@gmail.com

Follow me on Twitter – twitter.com/jordan_is_ok

Watch these TV shows:

Louie – on FX at 11pm on Tuesdays

Chad Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch – on Vh1 at 9pm on Sundays

Mad Men – on AMC at 10pm on Sundays

And…

Jersey Shore is starting up tomorrow night! Can’t wait.

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10 Responses to “KSWI Guest Blogger Wednesday… oh who are we kidding”

  1. kt said

    I had a dream about painting my fingernails. It was fascinating. I had this new type of nail polish and it was amazing and I wish it would really work in real life because I would probably make millions off of it.

    I keep thinking about being a guest blogger for you Jordache, but I can’t come up with a good topic.

  2. PWG said

    I’m alarmed at your dreams of aged hirsute men. I’d be more alarmed if I were having them. You go, cowboy.

  3. PWG said

    I know sometimes my rambling comments feel like guest blogs, but that’s different. Dawgz has stepped up to the plate twice, I’m starting to feel guilty. Or hungry. I’m going to eat a plate of nachos, and if I still feel bad afterwards I’ll know it’s guilt.

  4. MLF said

    I didn’t have any dreams last night. I slept like a rock. literally. I slept through my alarm clock going off every ten minutes for at least two hours.

    Normally I do dream. (typically every night, several diff. dreams) They are extremely vivid and somebody nearly always ends up dead.Usually me. oh well. *shrugs*

  5. I kid, I kid. But that’s one hell of a hairy sausage fest. I very rarely remember my dreams. I’m pretty sure they’re boring.

    I nominate PWG to be the next guest blogger.

  6. Amy D said

    I had a dream, I had an awesome dream
    People in the park, playing games in the dark….

    Sorry, first thing that popped into my head after the dream comments.

  7. cledbo said

    Dude, I would totally guest blog for you again, if I could find time in between flying to random-ass opal mining towns in the middle of fucking nowhere, and having to go shopping for groceries and whatnot.

    I’ll take a bunch of photos of the fucking nowhere and tell you all about it, how does that sound? I’m bored already! That sounds more passive aggressive than I meant it too – rest assured it is the lack of caffeine and not you, J-swizzle.

  8. MLF said

    did anyone check this out? from one of the random related posts-http://amysreallife.wordpress.com/2010/03/27/guest-blogger/

    hilarious. I wish I loved anything as much as that girl loves gum.

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