This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #36

August 27, 2010

Well, hello there.

Continuing with previous posts’ themes that The Jersey Shore is the greatest television show on television – last night’s episode feature a brief look at next week’s episode and let’s just say….

CHICK FIGHT

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Oh man! She is pissed! Seemingly, the alpha-female in the house J-Woww is challenged for the throne by Sammi Sweetheart. Now Sammi has never shown any previous fighting ability, but clearly all that latent power has stored up for one furious outburst. My educated guess is that Sammi continues to push inside the house about who wrote the “note” and she and everyone with half a brain (Ronnie) must know it was Snooki and J-Woww. I would also imagine that Sammi more or less gets back with Ronnie and J-Woww shows her displeasure in this. Anyway, there is heatedness in the Miami house, which turns into a confrontation when J-Woww gets into Sammi’s face. I will say this – Sammi is tall and the only person in the house from New Jersey, so J-Woww may have bit off more than she can chew.

From the preview, it appears that J-Woww pushes Sammi in the face, which unleashes immediately unleashes Sammi’s adrenaline. Her bitchy, I sleep all day and now I’m going to use all that reserve energy to kill a bitch, don’t mess with my hair extensions, I hate you already because I’m a woman and you have much bigger boobs than me, I am so angry all the time because I’m in love with a moron who cheats on me named Ronnie and I can’t hit him because he seems like the type who blacks out and could hit a woman and if he hit me he’d crush my skull – just anger comes out in this photo. Dawgz has said she looks like the stereotypical Disney witch in this picture. I, on the other hand, think she looks like a lioness and have never been more attracted to her than at this moment. Also, you can see slightly down her shirt.

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Cocked and ready to fucking rock! This is not going to be some girl punch. This is going to be a real punch with velocity in it. Punching has a lot more to do with body movement than your arms and Sammi looks like she is throwing everything she has into that punch. Immediately, I have to say that any and all training J-Woww has had to be a fighter has been thrown out the window in this moment. Clearly, J-Woww should be shooting for the double leg takedown right now, but clearly isn’t. Snooki’s screaming and being caught in the middle is just magnifique – if that is how you spell that. Why is Snooki always in the middle of situations she really shouldn’t be in. If there is a single punch thrown in the zip code she is in then somehow she is right next to that punch. This picture also proves even further that Snooki is useless. She can’t even get in the middle properly to break up this situation. And speaking of, where the hell is the Situation? No where to be seen in these pictures. I’m thinking he is with the rest of the guys to the side just watching – which is exactly where they should be! They have been waiting for this cat fight longer than I have, so they’re not going to ruin it. Plus I think it should be perfectly clear to everyone that the Sitch is many things, but none of them are being a fighter.

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BOOM! It looks like she got it! I fucking love it. I don’t think this is a knockout blow, but I would imagine this fight is broken up by that mysterious hand coming in from the left hand side of the screen a second later. I’m really interested to see what impact the punch had, but whether it did a lot or no damage – it looked like a well thrown punch on Sammi’s toughest opponent in the house, so she should be proud about that. Up until this moment on the show, I have continuously thought that Sammi is a worthless member of the house. In the first episode of the show she was ok, but since then it has been downhill. But now she is punching chicks and that is a valuable commodity for all television shows to have. I cannot wait for next week’s Jersey Shore. I’m already hedging my bets that they’ll show the punch with a minute remaining in the episode and we’ll have to wait another week for the fallout. Either way, who gives a fuck!?! The rest of last night’s episode was funny too. The scene with Vinny explaining to Ronnie about the note under his breath with hand signals. FUCKING GOLD! To begin with, Vinny snapping his fingers to get Ron’s attention was fucking priceless.

I was initially worried deep down in the recesses of my mind that the second season of the Jersey Shore wouldn’t be able to live up to the first season – well, it is doing a good job right now. A good fucking job.

Questions.

Have you seen Midnight Cowboy? If so, what did you think of it? If not, why not?

Yes, I have seen Midnight Cowboy. I’m a little disappointed that I do not get the answer “if not, why not” because I feel like that is either a philosophical explosion waiting to happen or a delve into the psyche of a man who has associated Midnight Cowboy with some trauma in their life that they have specifically made the point not to see it or the person could be lazy. Nevertheless, I have seen Midnight Cowboy. I thought it was pretty great and at the same time just OK. The acting was excellent and the scenes where something was happening in them were great, but if I feel like really answering your question and being critical the movie kind of just ends. Now all of a sudden they’re going to Florida and Dustin Hoffman’s dead. He wasn’t the healthiest man, but boom dead and boom credits. Kind of random. Also, you don’t see Dustin Hoffman for a decent stretch and then you’re back with him and he’s dead on a bus. I’m not sure what the point of his character was. There are people in New York City who are so poor that they just die from malnutrition or some unknown sickness and that is embodied by Dustin Hoffman? If I had to say, what I thought the point of the movie was then I guess I would say how daunting New York City is, but that wasn’t really what the movie was entirely about. Don’t get me wrong – it is a great movie. It has ties to a lot of indie movies where they are shot great, acted great, have some really interesting scenes, and if I had to say what the point of the movie was and did they give me a plot with an arc that made sense then I’d might hesitantly say “no”.

The one thing I found very surprising about the movie when I saw it for the first time was Dustin Hoffman’s famed “I’m walking here!” moment that people love to quote. It is literally a moment like a split second. I don’t think if I saw that movie in the theaters when it came out that I would have clung to that line as the most quotable line from the movie. Especially when there is a lot of great dialogue and moments during the party scenes and other scenes.

Will you please write a fictional post about the love connection that occurs when Bristol Palin and Mike “The Situation” share the dance floor?

This I could probably have fun with, but I don’t want to half ass it right this minute. So, if you could remind me, I’ll try writing this next week.

Lastly, will you and Dawgz be relocating to the Trump buliding in beautiful Jersey City?

Nope. Although Dawgz and I are relocating, it won’t be to there. The Dawgz and I will be separating soon. Him taking a step closer to legally bonding fidelity. And myself? Well, I’m not sure where I’m going. I need to make the decision sooner or later, hopefully something strikes out and makes my next move that more an obvious decision.

As for this weekend!?!

I think you all should watch the UFC 118: Penn vs. Edgar II. I know I will be. It will be the first UFC pay-per-view in awhile that I will be watching in the sanctity of my home, which I’m looking forward to.

Outside of that, I hope you all have a great weekend. I’ll see you next week.

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3 Responses to “This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #36”

  1. Are you trying to say that all tall Jersey girls have short tempers and will snap at the drop of a hat because YOU DON’T FUCKING KNOW ANYTHING.

    Good joke.

    That’s the most I’ve seen Sammie move in two seasons of having every stupid detail of her life filmed, so I’m pretty excited for the throwdown. They better not pull that whole “we don’t condone violence” bullshit they did last time when Snookie got punched and censor it all. Because I condone it. And I’m from Jersey. That should be good enough.

    Have a nice weekend. Enjoy the fights. I’ll leave you all with this gem: http://consumerist.com/2010/08/stashitware-turns-your-underwear-into-a-man-purse.html

  2. susanelle said

    I totally agree with your review of Midnight Cowboy. I think way back then when this movie was made it was “arty” and “edgy” to just end a story without any resolution… like, “this is ‘slice of life’ and real life doesn’t have neat arcs.” But I ask, “How come your slicing was not so random up till that point??”

    It’s got to be all thoughtful slicing or all random slicing, I say.

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