This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #38

September 10, 2010

Are you Team Pie or Team Cake, and why?

Generally speaking, I’m team cake. As a utilitarian, I am team cake. I have ate more cake than pie in my life and did so by choice. There is also more cake in the world I would like to eat than pie. That is not to say I have never ate pie or will never eat pie again. I’m not sure how strict these teams are, but given the opportunity to eat an unforeseen pie that my taste buds fancy, I would denounce my team cake to eat said pie. Afterward, I would claim that switching teams was a rouse and that it was only to mentally destroy team pie. It was to gain their confidence to only crush them with the secrets I learned. Me and my team cake brothers and sisters would laugh heartily… and eat cake.

I don’t eat fruit pies of any sort, and fruit based pies seem to be the backbone of the pie contingent. I have no place on that team. I also find pie to be loose and slimy. Cake is sturdy and has texture. I choose cake.

Give me one good reason to get out of bed any day next week, whilst I am on holiday but not actually leaving my house.

Booze. Unless booze is delivered to you. I’ll give you a second reason: food. Unless you are fine eating delivered food or are comfortable with your current food supple. Also, if you literally meant your “bed” then I would say you need to get up several times to stop bed sores from forming. Outside of those scant ideas, I don’t have many more. There is plenty to do in a house for a week. There is TV, movies, video games, the internet, sleep, people can come to your house, bikini photoshoots, calisthenics – all can be accomplished inside the home.

With the Tenth Ammendment in mind, do you feel the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act is constitutional?

The 10th Amendment is ambiguous and can be and has been used to stop federally mandated legislation across the states. I think one can argue that the Patient Protection and Affordable blah blah blah is unconstitutional because it is the federal government requiring the states to do something. This is the argument that prevented a federal gun registration. It is also the amendment widely used by conservative descenters in trying to alleviate themselves from participating in any federal project.

Viewing the role of the 10th Amendment as solely a black and white issue of allowing states to not have to be involved in any federal regulation is stupid. There are plenty of federal programs that states participate in without thinking twice or have shown have no choice in the matter, and the 10th Amendment did not stop them.

Since this is my website…

These are the United States for fuck’s sake! Thankfully, the US Government has to be more centrist than the local governments because a lot of them are out of their fucking mind. Picking and choosing when to be apart of our nation and pretending like your state is its own sovereign nation with no ties to the other states is madness. South Carolina wants to allow no registration of the purchase of any guns in their state. This is a 10th Amendment issue in their eyes. This is a national security issue! If anyone could easily just waltz into South Carolina purchase any guns needed with no registration needed will certainly open the flood gates on even more gun violence in this country. Making it easier for guns to be bought without any oversight is not what this country needs.

There is a difference between trying to allow for affordable health care in this country to all its residents and filling up your cabinets full of guns because you think you’re going to have to re-engage in the Civil War at some point.

Vajazzling- yes or no?


If a man says something in a forest and a women doesn’t hear him, is he still wrong?

Men are always wrong. They were wrong when they cured polio. They were wrong when they built the car and the airplane. They were wrong when they made democracy and the spaceship. They were wrong when they made the written word, spoken language, the camera, electricity, the telephone, TV, and the internet.

Should I order chinese food?

Sweet and sour chicken, won-ton soup, boneless spare ribs, General Tso’s chicken, orange chicken, coconut shrimp, beef and broccoli … something of the sort.

Have a great weekend.

Rob & Kristen Pictures, Images and Photos


45 Responses to “This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #38”

  1. kt said

    ugh photoshopped robsten pictures creep me out so much.

  2. susanelle said

    Argh, Team Cake? Well, we can never marry or open a business together or do a cross-country road-trip, then, Jordan.

    It’s not that I have anything against Team Cakers, and I often have to eat cake at birthdays and weddings and so on… but to say that pie is loose and slimy when you are in control of this blog is just unseemly and unfair power-tripping.

    Cake is nothing but flavoured bread with toothache-inducing paste spread all over it!

    Also — cake goes stale. Have you ever seen stale pie? No. Pie does not go stale.

    Lemon meringue, Boston Cream, peach, blueberry, apple, pecan, Mississippi Mud… need I go on? I rest my case.

    • Forgetful Lucy said

      I had apple pie for breaksfast just now. It was goooood, and deliciously slimy. I have to argue that Boston Cream “pie” is actually cake. I had it for the first time this past forth of July. Why is it called pie? There isn’t even a crust. I say it’s cake, it was good too. I prefer cake over pie, unless it has whipped cream frosting, then I might choose pie, depending on the options availalbe. Pecan pie? HELL NO. That is just some scary goo.

    • tiffanized said

      No one has ever seen stale pie because pie never lasts long enough to get stale.

      • susanelle said


        And I know you don’t eat meat, Tiff, but that reminds me that pie comes in all kinds of meat and main-course forms.

        No one ever makes “Cake Lorraine” or “Chicken Pot Cake.”

        Like, I can’t even see the other side.

      • So will you be having birthday pie this evening?

      • tiffanized said

        I need to clear a few things up.

        1. I usually don’t eat meat. More accurately, I don’t eat meat when I’m sober, which fortunately to this point in my life is usually. If I’ve had more than one shot, one beer or one glass of wine, you’d better hide your bacon.

        2. I’m not a dessertist. The horror that would be “chicken pot cake” notwithstanding, I actually lean more toward cake than pie in my baking life. Pie is hard to make, therefore I don’t make it often. I’m a semi-professional cake baker/decorator, so I can’t really come down on the side of pie. You can’t make a penis-shaped pie, for instance (though HB really performed a miracle with the peencans).

        My PIE VS CAKE Deathmatches:
        Cherry Pie > Carrot Cake
        French Apple Pie < Birthday Cake
        Coconut Cream Pie = Chocolate Cake

        I have already been presented with a birthday cake, but if someone wants to carve my name into the top of an apple pie, I'll blow a candle out of it. Or something like that, you know what I mean.

      • susanelle said

        Ahhh, I was going to argue with you that pie is easier to make than cake, but when you got all reasonable and pointed out that many pies are spectacular, and that one or two specific cakes are better than one or two specific pies, and that some cakes and pies are dead equal… you mellowed me out.

        Bartender! A round of shooters on me!

    • MLF said

      I am team pie and thank god for that or else we couldn’t get married…I am glad that is still possible.

      Boston Cream pie is so delicious they made it into a donut!

      • kristenstewartwantsit said

        They also made Boston Cream pie into an ice cream for Ben & Jerrys… but it sucks.

      • susanelle said

        Milfie, a doll as always ::smooch::

      • MLF said

        I could argue that most of the flavors Ben and Jerry’s has made suck. but I personally don’t like ice cream very much so it doesn’t really matter to me

      • Speak ill of Chubby Hubby and you’re dead to me.

      • tiffanized said

        I can’t eat Ben & Jerry’s because the name confuses me. My ice cream has to have the components right in the title or I can’t eat it. I can’t really eat it anyway because I’m lactose intolerant. They make a lactose free vanilla ice cream, but really, that’s no way to live. It’s like non-alcoholic beer.

        But Larry & Luna’s Coconut Milk Ice Cream? Heaven in a tub.

  3. So I’ve now watched that Amazing Race video 5 times. I wonder if my cubicle neighbors are creeped out by my incessant giggling yet. Please let me never be in a situation where I’m injured and jesters have to run to my aid.

    I refuse to believe that you have to exclusively choose Team Pie or Team Cake. Susanelle is not the boss of me. Pie is awesome. Apple, pumpkin, peach crumb, all delicious. But cherry? Blueberry? Strawberry rhubarb? Gross. Cake is usually delicious, but I can be snobby when it comes to cake because I worked in a French bakery for several years. So not just any cake will do. Chocolate will always win over vanilla, mousse fillings will always win over that shitty fruit jelly stuff, and real buttercream will usually win over whipped cream. So I reserve the right to switch teams as the mood hits me.* Also, when it comes down to it, ice cream cake is really where it’s at.

    Off to watch that video again.

    • susanelle said

      It’s called “ice cream pie.” ::spank::

    • MLF said

      cookie cake.

      so delicious I would almost forsake team pie for it.

    • susanelle said

      Gosh, we’re starving on this blog.

      • kristenstewartwantsit said

        I just ate a muffin, which is pretty much cake.

      • kt said

        False. Muffin is a quickbread. There is a distinct difference between a muffin and cupcake and it is not just icing. Don’t argue with me on this.

      • susanelle said

        Well, I just had some pizza, which is pretty much pie. Who’s happier, you with your dry old muffin or me with my thick delicious pizza?

        Unless kt tells me pizza is also a quick bread, in which case I might move to Team Quickbread.

        By the way, lest anyone think this is all off-topic, Kristen Stewart was in a movie called “The Cake Eaters,” although I don’t think that necessarily means she personally endorses cake.

      • kt said

        Was it Chicago deep dish? Cause that is definitely pie.

        Kstew did make an infamous loquat pie so maybe she is Team Pie. I hate myself for knowing stuff like that btw.

      • susanelle said

        Don’t feel bad, I knew about the loquat pie, too — from a tree in her own back yard, right?

        Why are we soaking up this information? I don’t know. In my case it was partly because I’ve never heard of a loquat before. wtf? I call shenanigans. If you google loquat, it appears that such a thing exists, but also aliens and ghosts exist according to Google. So.

      • kt said

        I used to have a loquat tree in my backyard too, but we just ate them right off the tree… I didn’t know you could cook with them.

  4. tiffanized said

    One bonus point: there are no reality shows about pie decorating. There are at least two cake shows, and one cupcake show. If there is a Pie Show I need to know about it stat so I can set the TiVo machine.

  5. MLF said

    so from a grading perspective, you failed on the constitution question. not at all what I was expecting you to say though, which was suprising, I thought you would def. mention the commerce clause and the good and proper clause, instead of using politics like you WEREN’T supposed to, but I like the dog video so you get a pass.

    I have never learned very much of the constitution, and now I know why. IT’S BORING AS HELL! omg. it’s so very boring, yet interesting at the same time! I feel like I know my rights now. I feel like starting a revolt! I feel….like taking a nap and not giving any more of these fucking presentations on the constitution.

    Next week I have to give a presentation of whether people have a “right” to Health. WHO says the do but what do they know, they’re just a classic rock band, amiright?

    I crack myself up.

    also- who says it was man who created the spoken language? given women’s propensity for talking and men’s overall lack of communication I would say it’s more likely women are responsible for speaking.

    oh look, there I go proving your point.

  6. tiffanized said

    Let me just say that it was someone else’s birthday in my office, and I went and ate a piece of that cake even though I have a whole cake of my own on my desk. I would have done the same if it were pie.

    • MLF said

      it is excellent to know you do not discriminate desert foods, and also I completely agree with you eating the other cake as well as your own. there is no shortage of cake in this world and plus other people’s food taste’s better- science fact.

  7. tiffanized said

    I’m also glad to know that you are anti-vajazzling. Firstly, it is often described as “encrusting” the bikini area with crystals. I can’t imagine too many sane men are lining up to put their penis into anything that is encrusted with anything. Secondly, I would imagine that there would be chafing during a lot of the most effective sexual acts. Thirdly, and this is a TMI here but I am on KSWI so I’m guessing this is par for the course, during oral sex one often ends up with a stray short hair in the mouth. I would hate to have a stray Swarovski stuck in my throat.

    So, I concur with your “no”.

  8. kt said

    I’ve never taken an official side in the Team Cake or Team Pie debate because I see the merits of both, and at every holiday family gathering we have cake and pie and I always have some of both. However, I have taken the time today to decide that I am Team Cake. I can take my favorite part of pie (the filling) and make them into a cake and not be missing anything, therefore I have to believe that cake is superior. Plus pie crust is sooooo hit or miss and really a bad cake is much harder to come by.

  9. Lala said

    At first I was definitely Team Pie, but then I thought a little more and now I’m not sure. Is cheesecake a cake or a pie? Because that’s what will make me decide.

    • MLF said

      if you look at a cheesecake you would initially believe it is a pie- it has a crust and what some people would call a slimy filling- alas, if you look at a boston creme pie you would think it was a cake. when clearly it is a pie. so in short, cheesecake is a cake because of it’s namesake but you should still be on team pie because we’re really really cool

    • susanelle said

      Yeah, I feel like cheesecake fundamentalists are in their own group… like Mensa or the Illuminati or something. They are beyond the cake/pie paradox.

  10. cledbo said

    Alright alright alright. Once again I get to bring up how I’m obviously not American, but nevertheless – when I hear pie (apart from giggling like a juvenile, of course), I think savoury thing you eat for lunch or, occasionally if it’s big enough*, dinner.

    Maybe it’s a hangover from England thing. Our most famous meat pie company is called Four ‘n Twenty (as in, blackbirds baked in a pie, not that we’d eat that because, eeew).

    Anyway, other than apple I definitely don’t associate ‘pie’ with dessert. It’s like when Brits say ‘pudding’ and they mean dessert, even if they’re talking about something that clearly isn’t gooey or self-saucing or hot (wow, desserts sound so dirty when you talk about them for long enough…)

    I did indeed have ‘booze’ ticked off my lists of shit to do at home whilst on holidays. Movies has also been ticked off, but considering the paltry nature of the food delivery services in my area I have had to leave the house a few times to stock up on instant noodles and Twisties.

    Watermelons should do that to reality TV moron’s faces more often. All the time, if possible.

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