I was asleep when I was awoken to tell you about it

September 27, 2010

This morning was a good morning for sleeping. All the variables lined up perfectly for sleeping. One key ingredient was that I was in my own bed as opposed to where I had spent the last three nights trying to sleep. The truth is certainly not as tawdry as that sounds. I visited my parents on Thursday and then visited my friends on Friday and Saturday. The beds at my parents’ house are in a word: terrible. I am a good half a foot taller than the beds themselves, which means my feet hang off the end in this no man’s land hovering in absentia of bed underneath them. The texture of the beds are “day old bread”. One could press into the beds with all their might and they will give, but just body weight on the bed leaves no mark. Do you know those “memory foam” mattresses? Imagine the anti-thesis to that. A bed that rejects your memory and wants to forget every inch of you — sounds a lot like my first wife, amirite? A short bed made of bricks wrapped in cotton was Thursday. The following nights, my bed was not a bed and was in fact a couch and that couch was not in fact just a couch, but was a “love seat”. The creepy step-sibling of the couch is the “love seat”. If I had to guess where the name came from, I would guess that if two people were going to sit that close to each other without any extra room then they would have to be in love. Is there any love when a 6’4″ or so mammal is trying to sleep on said “love seat”? The answer is most assuredly an unanimous NO. My head on the one arm rest and my legs shooting off the other arm rest at a 45 degree angle with pretty much everything below the knee probing the infinite space for something to lay themselves on, but there is not. Three nights of uncomfortable short bedded long legged sleep. A second variable that welcomed my slumber this morning was the rain. It is so enjoyable sleeping when it is raining. I would imagine it is because I live in a house. I have shelter from the rain and for millions of years that was not the case for my forefathers. Sleeping outside in make shift tents and huts, rain was probably the last thing that would help them sleep. Maybe the last thing would be being attacked by wild animals or later when my Jewish ancestors were persecuted by the Egyptians and the Spanish and everyone – rain might not have been a big deal. It is not easy to sleep when it is raining, Mordecai. Yes, Jacob, but it is much easier to sleep in the rain than trying to sleep while being attacked by wolves or being whipped by a Pagan. You make a compelling argument, Mordecai. Even now it is raining still. It is a cool rain, which helps with sleeping. I like to be as cold as possible when I sleep and then wrap myself in my blanket like a butterfly’s cocoon. What is even more important with this rain is it quiets the world outside. There are no annoying people talking way too loudly meandering around the corner I live on. There is a school right here as well and the kids of that school run around screaming like howler monkeys. I would imagine they are still screaming like howler monkeys right this second, but they are doing it from within the confines of the school instead of outside on the streets or at the park right around here. Also, the cars seem to zip past with shhhhhhing sound. Almost showing an expressed interest to everyone to keep quiet. Shhhhh Jordan is trying to catch up on sleep he has not been afforded the past few days. The only thing that was trying to awake me was my bladder. My urinary tract felt like white hot lightning was running a relay race through my bladder. I tried my best to ignore it because I needed sleep! As for the dreams I had, I have many dreams. I have many dreams in life as well as when I am sleeping. I toss and turn most of the night entering and exiting dreams at a rapid clip. Sigmund Freud wrote of sleep and dreams. He believed there were different stages of sleep. The short of it was that your mind went deeper and deeper into sleep until you hit the deepest point and then your mind backed-up a bit and you began to dream in this semi-lucid semi-asleep state. This is the REM sleep people mention. He also believed that we needed REM sleep and if we did not get enough of it then our body would force us to get more of it, which would mean even more powerful dreams when you actually gave yourself a good nights sleep. I feel like I dream almost instantly when I fall asleep. When I think of Freud, I think that I have had such bad sleep schedules throughout my life that I’m permanently in REM recovery and that is why I have so many dreams and they are usually very lucid. I had one of those Inception like dream within dream dreams this morning. It was a dream of me waking from a dream to check the time, but that was a dream as well. There were a lot of characters in my dreams last night and this morning, so basically just chalk yourself down that you were in my dreams last night or this morning. Take comfort in that at least one person was dreaming about you. You are the girl/boy/dog of my dreams. I did dream about dogs last night. Now that I’m awake and it is still raining out, it is not helping this idea of staying awake, remaining awake.

Quick thoughts:

Steelers are 3-0. How about some love for the Black and Gold?

Eastbound & Down was great.

Mad Men was great.

Bored to Death was great.

Sunday Night Football was not so great. I was rooting for the Dolphins. It was a good game, but not the ending I wanted.

The UFC fights from Saturday were like that football game^. A lot of fights were great fights to watch and then when it came to the judges’ decision everything went nutty. The UFC seriously needs to hire all new judges. They need to never re-hire any judge who has worked for them. Just pull drunks from the crowd to judge. They could not do any worse of a job than the “professional” judges.

I’ve been listening to this song a lot:

It is a wonderful song and because I try listening to the rest of the album and get bored and just go back to this song. It makes me want to write a “western”.

Anybody have an exciting weekend?

12 Responses to “I was asleep when I was awoken to tell you about it”

  1. susanelle said

    I, too, love to sleep. However, I don’t put a lot of conditions on it. I can sleep almost anywhere at any time.

    If you really, really, really wanted to sleep, and loved to sleep, you would be able to do it curled up like a fetus on a tiny hot love seat with screaming children in the next room and no Ambien.

    Speaking of dogs — which I also love — has everyone seen this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHlJODYBLKs Great dogs and great song.

  2. “Home” is indeed an excellent song. But it’s old news. I had it on repeat in February. Now on repeat? Steven Seagal singing about “poonani”:

    You’re welcome.

    Weekend was drunk and wedding-filled. I felt pretty special, though. Got propositioned for a threesome, then hit on my a group of small Mexican men, and a shoeless black man. Though, the shoeless black man knocked my ego down a notch when, after hollering at me and my friend, he said to me “No, not you. I mean, you’re pretty too, but I was really talking to your friend.” Ok, well, I hope you find your shoes, sir.

    • kt said

      My wedding-filled weekend was going to a wedding expo… interesting experience. And then it was a bummer because I found out my bff is basically planning the wedding that I want to have and that sucks kind of a lot. sigh.

      • I’m sorry… There’s only one solution: sabotage the wedding!

        Am I the only girl who’s never even considered what kind of wedding she’d want? Meh, add it to the list of Girl Fails.

      • kt said

        I don’t think you are the only one that doesn’t think about it. Honestly… I just want a reason to throw a big ass expensive party. lol.

      • MLF said

        That sucks she is stealing your dream wedding, but the good news is this: the wedding you want now is probably not the wedding you will want when you are actually getting married. Planning a wedding is a surprising ammount of work, especially when you keep changing your mind every five minutes. During the process of planning my wedding, we changed locations about fifty times, as well as time of the year, colors, menu, everything. it is probably for the best that wedding didn’t happen because it would have been a schizo wedding with multiply personality disorders. and when I think about what I want in a wedding now, I look back at what I had planned and laugh a merry, jolly laugh at how stupid I was and how much my ideas suck. on the other hand you could be normal and decisive and still want the same thing in five years, who knows. if that happens do the exact same wedding and just make sure you do it better so people remember yours instead of hers, or at the very least remember you did it better lol

    • MLF said

      I was going to mention Home being old news as well. When I first moved into the house I currently live in last January, my roomates blared this song on repeat all day and all night, well into February. now when I hear this song it just makes me furious and reminds me of how much I dislike some of my old/current roomies.

      it is strange that such a peaceful, happy song can incite rage in such a normally peaceful and happy person

      • There, there, Milfie. I’ve already posted the antidote. Just listen to the soothing island sounds of Steven Seagal and your rage will subside. It may morph into debilitating confusion, but at least you won’t be so angry.

  3. kt said

    The fun part of not really having a job is that you get to sleep whenever and for as long as you want. I’ve been doing freelance work so I wake up at like noon or later everyday. Most days I sleep at least 12 hours. It is glorious. The downside is that I don’t go to bed until like 3am.

    The second best thing to sleeping when it is raining is reading a good book when it is raining.

  4. Lala said

    I noticed that sometimes you decide not to separate you posts in paragraphs. But okay, whatever.

    You are so lucky! I don’t even remember what rain is like, it hasn’t rained in my city in 124 days. The whole concept of water falling from the sky seems surreal to me. And it’s so hot. I really truly hate the heat.

  5. MLF said

    So the Owl movie in 3D was fantastic. highly recommend it.

    The Jets Dolphins game was glorious. Made ten bucks betting on it because you predicted the Jets were overrated and because I am childish I like to contradict people, therefore I bet on them. Also, my friend is a die hard Dolphins fan, and I am not even a Jets fan. so that was cool. It was a win win, because I really didn’t care about the outcome yet I still made money off it. plus on top of that my stepdad is a diehard Jets fan which meant he was in a fabulous mood today and gave me extra gas money.

    My sincere condolences to Dawgz though. the thing about the Dolphins is that they’ve been a let down nearly every year for like, the past twenty years though so he’s probably used to it by now.

  6. AmyAlmost said

    I love Bored to Death. .. Weird. I too been playing that song a lot… and local natives.

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