This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #42

November 5, 2010

She wants IT.

Let’s actually look back on this week:

Monday – I talked about my Halloween festivities

Tuesday – I talked about celebrities’ Halloween festivities

Wednesday – We rejoiced in a traumatic experience of a foreign born child being attacked by a rogue ostrich only to lead to the inevitable conclusion of the foreign born father of said foreign born child going all UFC and head kicking the ostrich.

Thursday – I wished a happy birthday to everyone in existence who was born on yesterday’s date, which currently eludes my brain.

Friday – I saw Kat Dennings naked and all was right in this world.

I’m not sure if I’m able to post nude pictures on this site or link to nude pictures on this site, so…

There is a website called “Deadspin” and they have the pictures. And/or type in “Kat Dennings naked” into your trusty search engine who reserves no judgments on you and what you do with your time. I suggest Deadspin because they also have seemingly nude pictures of Jessica Alba as well.

If you don’t know who Kat Dennings is then let me give you a refresher…

Have you seen 40 Year Old Virgin? Do you remember that Catherine Keener’s character has a teenage daughter? Did you ever think to yourself while watching that movie and said daughter appeared on screen and you thought to yourself, “Wow, Catherine Keener’s fictional daughter has some really big boobs”? That’s Kat Dennings.

Here’s another scenario:

Have you seen Nick + Norah’s Infinite Playlist? Yeah, me neither. But do you remember a trailer or a poster from that movie? Do you remember thinking to yourself that if Michael Cera is “Nick” then “Norah” has some big ass boobs? That’s Kat Dennings.

Not to take away from Kat Dennings and her comedic abilities and her amiable personality because I have seen a couple of her movies and some of her youtube videos and she seems like a lovely 24 year old Philly native. But when nudity is available one does not prescribe to offering people pictures of comedic abilities or amiable personalities nude. They give you a tease of what you are going to see. And in this case… well… she looks… excellent… naked… from the waist up. We don’t see waist down mind you. I’m sure that is excellent as well. You do see her legs, but they’re really not the focus of the picture.

I have a theory that those boobs periodically can take over Kat Dennings’ whole body and force her to move in mysterious ways like take pictures of them when her shirt is mysteriously off.

I love the internet.

I love it so much.

I feel like they should declare today a holiday because of these pictures. It doesn’t have to be a federal holiday. It could be state by state. People vote on it. If your state does not recognize it as a holiday then your state simply is Un-American and doesn’t support the troops. And by “troops” I mean both our American military and their efforts in foreign countries trying to stop the spread of terrorism meanwhile offering hopefully a better life with America’s assistance… and Kat Dennings wonderful boobs. That’s the other set of troops.

Maybe everyone gets a half day from work. I’m not saying the Stock Market has to close or anything. Maybe a moment of silence while everyone stares at the pictures via smartphone, lap top, overhead projector on a blank chalkboard. It is up to you how to celebrate this day. I’m not forcing anything besides a mutual moment of reflection.

Nothing religious, but if a church or synagogue or a temple of any sort wants to recognize that these boobs are in fact the flawless creation of the Divine then I will not stop them. I welcome it. If a preacher wants to make a joke that also has a hint of truth in it like, “And on the 8th day, God made Kat Dennings’ boobs”. Then that is up to them. It is fair use, in my opinion. Of course, I wouldn’t mind a little recognition. If someone does come over to said preacher and is like “that was pretty clever” then said preacher can say, “actually, it was this guy Jordan who has a website…” and so on and so forth until the person becomes a regular commenter.

Should McDonalds make a Happy Meal toy commemorating this day? I’m not against that idea in the least bit. I applaud that type of thinking.

Does Six Flags need to make a roller coaster ride for these boobs like their Batman or Batman and Robin ride? Maybe. I hope so. I hope for a lot of things though. I hope for a world where there is no war. I hope to climb a mountain and release a bald eagle at the top of it that I had nursed back to health. I hope that the script for Deadpool that I’m reading gets better. I hope that I’ll learn a second language and move to a country that speaks that second language and then I will walk that land settling disputes in their language. I hope to earn a nickname from that country’s locals that will sound simple from the outside, but if you knew the true story it will speak volumes about my strength and character. I hope for a college football playoff system. I hope for an end of disease. I hope Saturday Night Live becomes even remotely funny again. I hope for muffins.

And with that… there were no questions this week as far as I noticed.

Kristen Stewart wants IT so bad she blurs pictures.

Have a great weekend!


One Response to “This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #42”

  1. cledbo said

    I couldn’t find Kat Dennings naked, but I didn’t look very hard. Too busy half watching Twin Peaks and I’m confused already.

    I have a questions – who are those douchebags in the blurry KStew pic? The one squatting on the ground is Tom Sturridge, who looks a lot better when he’s clean and shaved and not wearing clothes from a trash bin. The other two look like wankers and I’m intrigued. I’m also intrigued why a multi-millionaire hangs around on a dodgy apartment roof drinking Stella’s?
    Kids these days…

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