You will never catch me, Spider Man

November 23, 2010

I’m out exploring New Jersey crawling through the leaves and licking up its sticky sap trees. I’m moving vertically on my hands and knees keeping a lookout for honey bees. Won’t you please, Mr. honey bees, do not sting my knees while I’m scurrying through the trees touching all the leaves.

I hope you are having a great day,



5 Responses to “You will never catch me, Spider Man”

  1. MLF said

    Bravo *claps*

  2. kt said

    That was beautiful. *tear*

  3. Was this consensual? Are you violating New Jersey without it’s permission? It kind of sounds like it… like state rape.

    It’s funny because it rhymes with date rape.

  4. PWG said

    My whimsy-detecting claymores have been triggered. Run, motherfucker! Or possibly you’ve been reading that Hunger Games book, the one with the trees and scary bees.

  5. PWG said

    Have you seen the Cowboys & Aliens movie trailer? I’d never heard of it, so when I saw it before Harry Potter it was 60 seconds of deep confusion followed by the most profound sense of joy my soul has known this year.

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