The Turkey Is Minutes From Being Carved

November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

Game 1 of 3 is done and I still dislike the New England Patriots immensely.

Game 2 of 3 has just begun and I hope the New Orleans Saints beat the Cowboys in Dallas so badly that they fire their second head coach this season.

Game 3 of 3 is tonight and I really don’t care who wins, as long as the Bengals don’t lose by more than 8 points. I gamble on football – yes, I do.

As far as “turkey” day… to all you lovely Americans and, even, the unlovely ones – Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you eat a lot of food and get drunk and whatever else happens on this day. I hope you win a free pair of shoes. I don’t know how that would happen, but I can still hope that it happens for you.

To all you non-Americans and/or Ameri-can’ts – I hope all you lovely internationals have a great day as well with winning a free pair of shoes and eating a lot and getting drunk and whatever else can happen on a Thursday for you.

And since today holds no particular special meaning as far as a wildly dubious story about wild injuns and crazy religious nuts with dopey hats eating turkey – here is a video for you:

Yeah, it is a flying snake. It is both the greatest dream and nightmare I could ever hope for in this world. It will be the ruin and savior of us all.

Friday questions?

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3 Responses to “The Turkey Is Minutes From Being Carved”

  1. cledbo said

    Wow everyone must be in a food/alcohol coma so deep they couldn’t come and say “I can’t watch youtube at work” with me.

    Not that they would if they were here, because I’m the only one actually *at* work. Not that I was at work when Thanksgiving actually happened, I was at home on sick leave, reading fan fiction and watching Mythbusters.

    Questions for Friday:
    Why are most, if not all, major American holidays an excuse to eat yourself into a food coma, or alternatively drink until you can’t feel feelings any more?
    (I’m not judging, most of our holidays are like that too. We have a horse race that everyone skips work for – top that!!)

    Will you ever consider rejoining the world of the working stiff, Jordalachian? Or is freelancing treating you too well to even contemplate having to wear a cool suit and get up before 10am ever again?

    What do you want for Xmas?
    Surely no present can top an issue of Zoo Weekly, received 2 months after the occasion it was dispatched for. Hah!

  2. PWG said

    Happy Thanksgiving. Food coma.

  3. My Wednesday morning started out with my friend sending me a video of the flying snake. Different video, though. It showed it normal, and then it showed it in slow motion just to make sure I didn’t miss the nightmarish implications of it all. I kind of felt like crying. I’m pretty sure we’re all fucked. I need to invent a portable suit made of bug zappers and just encase myself in that 24/7. If they find out spiders can fly, I’m just going to kill myself.

    Friday question: with all this talk of an NFL lockout, to what insane lengths would you go to ensure next season continued uninterrupted? Would you perform sexual favors for another male? I don’t know why the NFL would say “Football can continue so long as KSWI Jordan gives that dude over there a beej,” but let’s pretend that they would for a moment just for my entertainment’s sake. Thanks.

    Hope everyone enjoyed their food comas.

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