Orientation Rocks The Casbah

January 3, 2011

I’m sitting at a round table with tent card name tags, styrofoam cups of bad coffee, Poland Spring water bottles, stale miniature bagels, dry muffins*, free pens, fluorescent overhead lighting, a powerpoint presentation queued up on the pull down screen and a delightful musak rendition of the girl from Eponema tickling my ear drums.

Black pin stripe pants, sky blue shirt, and a red, white and blue tie (America!) – in case you’re wondering.

“Tron: Legacy” is the first movie I have seen in 2011 and it may end up being the worst. Not sure what could be worse unless I see one of the Nic Cage movies coming out soon. Even that would be debatable.

I also saw “The Fighter” – not that great. It was good, but it was completely forgettable minus Christian Bale. He should get nominated for best supporting actor. The rest of the movie was average.

I didn’t do anything all that interesting for New Years.

If one of my 2011 resolutions was to “drive a forklift” (not a sexual metaphor, but could be) then I could cross that off my list. I’m on a roll in 2011.

My iphone alarm didn’t work this morning like many I have heard. So, fuck you Steve Jobs.


4 Responses to “Orientation Rocks The Casbah”

  1. PWG said

    I’m trying to manipulate “drive a forklift” into a sexual metaphor this morning, which is about the only task my feeble brain is up for. I worked until 3:00 a.m. this morning, then got up at 7:00 a.m. to catch up on all the work I skipped while I was trabajo-ing in NYC last week. Logic will not be my strong suit today.

    Forklifts have two prongs. I know this because I worked in retail for many years, and the single non-sucky thing about that job is driving the forklift. That’s it, the rest blew monkeys. I’ll tell you what you don’t do, you don’t let some neophyte underage stoned backroom guy (also not a sexual metaphor) get behind you with a pallet of soda when you’re a hair over 5′ tall. He will drive that motherfucker right up the back of your ankles and over you entirely if you’re not quick, and having the skin on the back of your ankles rolled up like a sardine can will make you homicidal with pain.

    So I think “driving a forklift” would require the addition of a second prong, so to speak. Horizontally oriented to the first. Speaking of orientation. Good luck with the new morkplace. Sounds stellar so far, like I have room to talk.

  2. It could always be worse…you could be working someplace awful, like….idk. vegas. I’ve heard it sucks to work there.

    anyways I’m really sick (again.) and I just woke up and am already tired so I think I’ll take a nap. have fun working while I do that.

  3. Orientation is pretty brutal. I got a free stuffed animal at the end of mine and then they showed me video games in the cafeteria. But my job still sucks, so… Enjoy the free pens?

  4. cledbo said

    I’m sad that I don’t get an orientation, complete with dry muffins and pin-striped suits, it being that I haven’t changed jobs since last year (even though I kinda want to). My upcoming “Team Building Off-site” should provide enough brain-meltingly boring moments to make up for it, though *shudder*

    I’m off to shower then try to hypnotise myself to sleep. Good times.

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