This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #53

April 22, 2011

Happy Friday… Happy Good Friday? HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY!!!

Even though Good Friday is a sad holiday, you can still have a happy one. No one is wishing you to have a bad sad holiday. They want you to have a good sad holiday. Always accomplishing things. Always moving forward. Always making the best out of a holiday about someone being crucified. Who says you can’t win the lottery on Good Friday?

Anyway…

Have a happy day and a happy weekend.

If you celebrate Good Friday then most likely your weekend will end in chocolate.

No one would have ever guessed that one if they were there at that crucifixion. Am I right?

Guy 1: Today is the saddest day because we just watched a guy get literally crucified.

Guy 2: Yeah, but everything will be better on Sunday.

Guy 1: Uhhhh… why?

Guy 2: We all get to eat chocolate and paint eggs.

Guy 1: Are you being serious? Serious?! SERIOUS!!!!???!!!! I love chocolate! It’s my favorite!!!

Guy 2: Also, the eggs. We get to paint them.

Guy 1: Best weekend ever!

– end scene –

If religion wasn’t real then I would think the person was fucking with me… hardcore.

So this week I wrote about Weezer’s Blue Album, which I imagine everyone was so busying listening to it to comment on the insightful, personal and mind altering great article. I also mentioned Will Ferrell next next movie that is in all Spanish. His next movie is coming out soon and is dramedy about him getting divorced and losing his job and befriend a neighborhood youth… so yeah. I also talked about Passover and its oddities. I talked about Bryan Singer being a moron. I showed some pictures of famous girls at Coachella looking unwashed. I mentioned the Hunger Games I think for the first time. I know some people who read this site are expecting that movie to be good. I would say keep your expectations low… like very low. Like Pluto Nash low. Like if someone strapped you to a chair and wouldn’t let you get up and leave until you finished watching the movie Pluto Nash and then writing a favorable review for it. You would have to really change your perception of good to such a minimal level. Keep that in mind when they make this movie.

I’m just saying the same type of people who thought Nikki Reed as a blonde and all the vampires looking like rejects from the Baroque period were good choice and thought you the viewers would be cool with that are going to be the same type of people who will be making this movie.

So… what is today’s post about besides what I just wrote about…

Well, I didn’t get any questions, so I will pose a question to you, the reader. The reader who doesn’t comment. Comment on the page, comment in your head, comment when you’re gettin’ it on in bed…

A little game of would you rather… which of these two songs would you rather have been written about you?

Carly Simon’s – You’re so vain

or

Alanis Morissette – You Oughta Know

Which song would have rather had written about you?

Immediately, I’m thinking I would pick “You’re so vain” because I believe most people are vain. That’s not a big deal. Prince is vain. People love him though. Super models, actors, anyone on TV is vain. It’s not the worst thing in the world. But I think “You Oughta Know” is the better song. I would rather listen to that song. It’s rocking and you can probably just play it off saying that Alanis was a pretty crazy girlfriend and she’s kind of blowing things out of proportion.

But then again… “You Oughta Know” is about Dave Coulier and I don’t want to be associated with that prop using hack comic Uncle Joey. Meanwhile, “You’re so vain” has been linked to many dudes that I would like to be linked to Mick Jagger, Warren Beatty, Kris Kristofferson, Cat Stevens and most of all James Taylor. Not too shabby.

What I know for a fact is that I just don’t want this song to be about me…

I’m not comfortable with the idea of Sting watching me in the shower, pooping and masturbating. That is unsettling. Very unsettling.

Have a great weekend.

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