HBO’s Game of Thrones: The Drinking Game

May 4, 2011

Yes, I started watching it.

It took me three weeks to succumb to watching this television show. My reason to not watch the show was out of spite and apparently my own ignorance.

When HBO announced they were doing a TV show based on the book series A Song of Ice and Fire, I was expecting wild shit like dragons in every scene. Every which way there would be dragons and wizards and swords covered in flames and pretty much all the wildest fantasy nonsense one could imagine.

I have never read any of the books, but I have seen many paintings and drawings done by fans over the years as they have posted them onto the internet where people can appreciate or ridicule without giving that nerdy artist an actual swirlie in real life. Needless to say, I was expecting fire breathing crazy monsters and what the previews were showing was a medieval Sopranos.

They pitched the show on everyone is backstabbing each other, they’re lying to each other, they’re all having sex with each other and people get murdered. Isn’t that interesting? I guess, but doesn’t every show have that? Minus the murder, there is lying, sex and backstabbing on Gossip Girl, but I’m not watching that. Also, none of this sounds remotely interesting when one, me, was expecting a knights riding dragons into battle against other knights riding other dragons into battle.

Anyway, I started watching the show. A friend told me that there is some mystical stuff and that they are building towards that stuff eventually. Plus outside of the NBA playoffs, I’m barely even watching any TV right now, which to me is a bad thing.

After watching a couple episodes, I think I have devised a pretty good drinking game for the show that will no doubt put you into an alcoholic coma if you actually followed it:

Take a shot/drink:

– if someone is killed within the episode they have first appeared in

– if someone is having doggystyle sex

– if incest is happening on your TV

– if a chick is nude

– if you think to yourself “I want a dire wolf”

– if you think to yourself “That dude has great hair”

– if they announce another clan’s house that you have never heard of

– if a character’s name you have forgot appears on screen, but you know everything else about them – just not their name

– if the Dothraki (the muscular tan horse warrior barbarian guys) do something that makes you think they’re ripping off the Klingons from Star Trek

– if the word “bastard” is spoken

– If you laugh when someone refers to Sean Bean’s character as “Ned”

– if someone brandishes a sword, but never uses it

– if they mention “the winter”

– if you think someone is speaking in a British accent, but they’re not

– if there is dragon talk

That’s pretty good.

I’m sure if you follow only a couple of these, you’ll be crazy drunk.

As for the show itself?

It is pretty good. All the above stuff is happening pretty regularly so that’s nice. Right now, it appears that the common theme is blondes versus brunettes. Your hair color seems to determine a lot about you. For instance, if you’re a blonde then you are possibly evil and having some sort of incestuous sexual relations. If you’re brunette then you are duty bound to do just about anything and you love animals. As for redheads, they seem to be torn. Some want to help blondes, some the brunettes. It’s a toss up. Never trust a redhead.

Outside of that, my only other thought – swords are big sharp penises. That’s about it. We get it. They’re a constant phallic symbol in every way, shape and form. Think about it.

6 Responses to “HBO’s Game of Thrones: The Drinking Game”

  1. Lula said

    I call this show Game of Naked Incest. Because really, when I try to explain it to someone who isn’t watching, “naked” & “incest” are the only things I come up with…oh, and “Boromir’s name is Ned.”

    I’m now forwarding this post to everyone I know. Because it’s genius.

    p.s. It is worthy to mention that Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister is pretty badass. He’s getting all the play & uttering the best lines of the series thus far. (All 3 episodes, that is.)

    • and78 said

      Truth. Lula did foward this to me.

      I am always up for drinking games that involve nudity.

    • kristenstewartwantsit said

      Peter Dinklage is great on the show. It is creepy seeing him with that boyish blonde hair, but outside of that he has had some of the better scenes and better one liners.

      “All dwarves are bastards to their fathers.” Good stuff.

  2. allryans said

    So, I don’t have HBO anymore, and my only question is Does Boromir get naked?

    (thanks for the fwd Lula)

  3. […] it’s not, so deal with it. There’s a solid drinking game based on the series here, or perhaps here, and several worthy suggestions […]

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