SUPERMAN is RIBBED for your PLEASURE and GEORGE CLOONEY might be the DEVIL

August 4, 2011

Another typical day at the KSWI fun house.

So, I’m guessing you’ve seen it.

This…

Because of the limitations of my mini-highway of text I’m allowed, I’ve had to shrink this picture down to fit.

I highly highly highly suggest you click on the picture or copy and paste this “http://www.wwtdd.com/wp-content/uploads/2000/08/superman.jpg” into your browser window to see the full gloriousness of this.

Once in full view, what can see a myriad of details concerning the new…

SUPERMAN!

1. IT’S FUCKING SUPERMAN! I’M SO FUCKING EXCITED! I LOVE ZACK SNYDER AND I LOVE SUPERMAN AND I LOVE THINGS! I DO! I TRULY DO! OH, I LOVE YOU MOVIES! I LOVE HOW YOU MOVE AND HOW YOU SOUND! OH I CAN’T WAIT!:

2. Superman is as mentioned texturized or textured or for the lack of a better description – Supes is bumpy. Like bumpy from a few things, so lets make a subcategory:

a. There are appear to be actually bumps on the suit. There was a point in the most recent history of the United States that wearing spandex became gay. Like gay gay and actually gay. I guess it was when our country started really acknowledging that there were gays, so the 80’s I guess. But anyway, spandex is gay and not manly or so they would have you believe. So there became this trend of all superheroes wearing leather, which I guess is less gay. ???? I don’t necessarily agree with it and I don’t even think the directors themselves agree with it, but either way they all went leather in this trend to eliminate spandex. That kind of reached its ultimate failure with DareDevil. But Spider-Man brought back spandex sort of because you can’t have Spidey swinging around in leather I guess. Anyway, Spider-Man brought us a spandex that was grittier and since then we’ve had guys in spandex, but a thicker and more sandpapery spandex. I guess that helps when fighting bad guys? I mean you’re Superman, so what does it matter what you’re wearing. Anyway… the dude’s got a bumpiness on his skinsuit.

b. Henry Cavill got jacked. Apparently, he’s eating 5,000 calories a day and lifting for 2 and a half hours a day. That’s just true. I don’t even know if that is “funny”. Who said everything had to be funny? It’s just plain accurate knowledge. Jeez.

3. Superman doesn’t have the curl in this and has the slicked back hair look. I think we’re done with the curl as a country and universe. It was more poignant in the comics anyway and just seems odd in real life on a person’s face. How could you take someone seriously with that curl?

4. Cavill looks like a bad dude. He doesn’t look boyish in this. I liked Brandon Routh, but he does have a boyish good look to him and right now at least Cavill looks more menacing. So… have fun masturbating to that ladies, gay men, bi-sexual men, and men who classify themselves as heterosexual, but find themselves whacking it to dudes.

5. It looks like everything is being crushed and destroyed being Superman and I hope that is the majority of this movie. I want to see Superman, General Zod and that woman I can’t remember the name of get into some building destroying battles.

NEXT!!!!!

This guy… might be the DEVIL.

Seriously, are you really all that surprised?

More or less, I can’t say for a fact if he is or is not the Devil.

I will admit that when I read that he may or may not be hooking up with WWE star Stacy Keibler that my first reaction was…

George Clooney is the DEVIL!

I’m just saying that I’m thoroughly jealous of George Clooney and it only gets worse every time I read something new about him.

Like I watched a lot of professional wrestling. I watched WCW as well as WWF and I remember Stacy Keibler when she was a Nitro Girl and then when she became Miss Hancock. Yeah, oh yeah, I remember that. I also remember when she came to the WWE. Meanwhile, I feel like George Clooney has never watched professional wrestling and was simply thumbing through an issue of Maxim’s top 100 and saw a picture like this…

And was like “yeah, that works.”

And then a series of assistants start to run around his mansion in Italy and get Stacy’s number and her agent’s number and her mom and dad’s number and they are called at the exact same moment and bombarded with dowry offers from the George Clooney estate.

Anyway… let’s just say my childhood is jealous as well as my current adulthood is jealous because Stacy Keibler is still unbelievable looking as she ever was. She was a Nitro Girl over a decade ago and she just continues to look amazing regardless of that thing called aging.

Meanwhile, he’s 50. And as mentioned could be the Devil.

Well played, George. As always.

By the by, packing and moving is the worst.

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5 Responses to “SUPERMAN is RIBBED for your PLEASURE and GEORGE CLOONEY might be the DEVIL”

  1. thank you for sharing ! I like your posting 🙂

  2. cledbo said

    George Clooney might not be the actual Devil, but he certainly seems to have sold his soul to some infernal being to have the life he has. He also wants it.
    I don’t find Henry Cavill attractive, does that make me weird? Maybe. I’m too tired and sober to think about it.

    • I actually don’t find him very attractive, either. I’ve seen one or two pictures where he’s sort of appealing, but that up there doesn’t do much for me. In terms of being sexy, I mean. In terms of nerdiness, I’m a little excited because I think it looks cool.

      So no you’re not weird. Or we both are… which is probably more likely, honestly. Sorry?

    • PWG said

      Nope, doesn’t do it for me either. I’m not overly fond of that suit, it reminds me of Aqua Man with scales. And you can’t get rid of the cape, it’s iconic, but I keep thinking of The Incredibles when I see superhero capes now. No capes! There are no visible nipples on the suit, though, so that’s good.

  3. “… the woman Ursa, whose perversions and hatred of men have threatened even the children of the planet Krypton.”- Jor-El (Marlon Brando)

    Ursa was played by the ubiquitous (then) British actress Sarah Douglas.

    And, yes, George Clooney is definitely the Devil!

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