Movies! Movies! Movies! Movies in my BRAIN! Movies in my VEIN… S!

August 18, 2011

What else is there to talk about besides movies?

Nothing… or I guess politics, sports, celebrity news, TV, books, music and real life —- b-b-b-b-buh-boring!

POLITICS

Tim Pawlenty pulled out all over the people of Minnesota’s, who voted for him, FACE! I was a little surprised that Pawlenty pulled out of the race this earlier, but really what does it matter? He wasn’t winning that nomination. I was enjoying his cat fighting with Bachmann, but that’s about it. I imagine Bachmann will only get much crazier because of this. At the very least, Pawlenty was trying to keep her in check. They’re from the same state, so they should have a good knowledge of each other as well as they’re fighting for a lot of the same voters, so they needed to watch their step around each other or the other one would surely hammer them for it. Now, with no Pawlenty and Romney seemingly still running against Obama and not the other Republican candidates and the other Republican candidates are getting absolutely no press then Bachmann has free run of being nutso numero uno(!).

Bachmann said she is going to lower gas to under $2 when she gets elected President. Well, since her being elected President is only going to happen in a fantasy land of her own design then why stop at $2? How about a gallon of gas costs you a butterfly kiss? Yay! And all of our gas stations will be attended by Jake Gyllenhaal clones that smell like puppy breath. Yay! Excuse me, Jake #232 can you fill up my tank… that’s what she said. Hahahah… we laugh. Ok, one butterfly kiss, two butterfly kiss, three…

In other news, Barack Obama is still the President and it doesn’t look like that’s going to change until 2016.

SPORTS

I am planning on doing what I did about midway through the season last year of the NFL season where I come up with a metaphor for each team. But the season doesn’t start for a few weeks, so I’m holding off on it just to see if any big changes happen right before the season starts. Nevertheless, there is a lot to talk about with the NFL, but I want to focus on ONE man who is about the size of TWO men TWO huge men and I actually did a post or wrote “stuff” about him last season and that is…

Former Nebraska Cornhusker defensive tackle…

Current Detroit Lion defensive tackle…

Current all around MAN and bad ass motherfucker…

NDAMUKONG SUH

That right there is a MAN attempting to kill Jay Cutler. Former Mr. Kristen Cavillari was almost beheaded when Ndamukong two hand shoved Cutler in the back from behind. Shit gets rough and real when Suh is on patrol. This is what Suh did on the first snap of preseason this year…

Welcome to the NFL, nerd! That’s what I wish Ndamukong yelled at stupid Andy Dalton on that play.

Suh was fined $20,000 for that hit which is bullshit because we all know preseason isn’t real, so the fines shouldn’t be either.

Anyway, I have a man crush on this man and I am most definitely a Steelers fan, but I have been rooting for the Lions as well because of the added thump that Suh has given this team. They also drafted Auburn’s monster Nick Fairley which should add even more destructive power from this team, but Fairley hurt himself already in practice and needed to get surgery and is currently walking around in a walking boot or something. Either way, he should be ready for early in the season. I can’t wait to see the two of them attacking teams. Also, just to add insult to insults the Lions have Kyle Vanden Bosch who is a great player in his own right and when he’s your #3 guy rushing the QB well then that QB is going to get proper fucked as the Brits say.

If you were wondering what Ndamukong means (minus it means your ass if your the guy with the ball), here’s a “rebus” for you…

OF

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House of Spears

Holy eff that’s a bad ass fucking motherfucker’s name. The dude’s name is House of Spears!

NEXT!!!

CELEBRITY NEWS

Kim Kardashian is marrying that dude who plays for the New Jersey Nets who I have never noticed playing basketball ever. His name is I believe Kris Humphries. Not to sound crass, but when are they getting divorced?

Today is August 18th, a Thursday, and they’re getting married I believe today. The commonly used stat is that %50 of marriages end within 7 years. That’s a little over 2,500 days and Kim Kardashian says her measurements are 34-26-39 and Kris averaged about 10 points a game for the worst team in the league last year and he’s 26 years old and she’s turning 31 and I DON’T THINK THIS LASTS TWO YEARS.

I mean I get that Khloe landed Lamar and Kourtney’s got her drunk/baby daddy, but do we really think Kim’s going to stick with a bballer that no one will ever know the name of for his actual bballing. Lamar’s got these things called championship rings, which he played a part in winning. Anyway… I’d be surprised if we’re a full year into Obama’s second term with Kim still married to this guy.

NEXT!!!

TV

Louie is on tonight and Jersey Shore is on tonight. That plus Teen Mom, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Breaking Bad are the shows I watch. I suggest you get involved in all of them.

Curb’s last episode I thought was the best this season. I really haven’t been digging this season that much. I thought some of the episodes were cute and smile inducing, but I really hadn’t laughed out loud to anything until this past episode. Hmmm… I probably at some of the Funkhauser stuff, but that’s a cheap laugh because I would laugh at him reading a damn menu. Anyway, I hope the season keeps getting better.

Breaking Bad is the best show on TV. It is one of the best TV shows ever in my opinion. I’m also crazy excited that next season is the last season and is 16 episodes. I think they’re doing pretty much everything right on this show and ending it. I don’t want it to linger just because I love the characters and so forth. There should be an ending.

Jersey Shore – I’m liking this season so far. I wasn’t too into the whole Miami season and I’m a little bored with them at the actual Jersey Shore because they never go to any place new. Most of the bars won’t let the cameras in, so it gets monotonous. I think Italy has really sparked a new life into the show with them trying to understand Italian, which they completely don’t as well as their complete lack of any knowledge concerning anything to do with Italy. Plus drunk Ronnie/single Ronnie is the most entertaining thing ever and there has been a good deal of that. But my favorite give and take was between Deena and Sammi when they saw a church – if you don’t know they are in Florence, Italy…

Sammi – Is that the Vatican?

Deena – I think so.

Sammi – It’s so nice.

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH… “nice”? The Vatican?! It’s nice? Amazing. Hey man, how’s your rental car? Eh, it’s nice. It’s clean and it moves ok and it smells like a pine tree. Just like the Vatican.

BOOKS

I’m giving up on reading another book for awhile. Those A Song of Ice and Fire books took it out of me. I’m not really in love with the books either. A lot of “stuff” has happened, but for what purpose and what is it leading towards… no idea. In the end, if these books are all about some winter zombie war that they need a dragon to win it for them and that’s it then I will absolutely hate these books. What the fuck do I care if this guy raised this kid, but really he’s the uncle and the mother and the real father died in the past war… who the fuck cares?! If all it is is zombies then fucking let’s get to the zombies already. And if all it is is a dragon as the solution then let’s get this fucking dragon over here already. And if that is the end of it then the people in this book may be really smart at backstabbing each other, but they’re really fucking stupid when it comes to knowing they’re all going to die from the winter zombie apocalypse that they all already know about, but are willfully pretending doesn’t exist. With all this explanation in this book of peoples’ backstories, I feel like I no dick about anything that really matters if these zombies are the end game. So suck on that George RR Martin – I’ve got my eye on you.

MUSIC

I listened to the “Watch the Throne” a few times. It’s the Jay Z and Kanye West collaborative album. Thoughts? Too much Jay Z. I don’t like Jay Z as a rapper enough to ever listen to his own albums all the way through, so I’m not into this. I like Jay as a guest on tracks, but not the focus. So, the singles that you hear on the radio or the interwebz should be enough because the whole album is just a bit much of the Jigga Man. As for Kanye, the album reeks of him with the production and everything, but it doesn’t get as crazy as we know Kanye can get because he is keeping this all in Jay’s wheelhouse. I prefer Kanye’s solo stuff over this. His album last year is a million times better in every way. But it is a nice little change of pace for a music year that I have found pretty underwhelming. And the Spike Jonze directed video for “Otis” is entertaining.

REAL LIFE

I stink right now. I haven’t showered from Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and my nose looks like I got rug burn on it except that rug was a dude’s knee. Either way, I’m glad I got back into going this week. I need to keep doing it.

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MOVIES

Eh, why not?

Fright Night comes out this weekend.

I watched Meek’s Cutoff last night, which is an indie flick about the Oregon Trail (not the game, but life) with Michelle Williams in it. It sucked. I didn’t really like it. I was trying to, but it was eh. Looked good, but just was too indie that nothing happened.

Lastly, pictures of Amy Adams as Lois Lane surfaced today and Amy Adams looks exactly like Amy Adams in them. It’s not like Lois wears spandex and a cape. It’s just Amy in a pair of pants and a jacket. I’ve seen that before. So instead I’ll give you this picture of Amy Adams because she looks good and you can kind of make out a solid side boob…

 

 

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2 Responses to “Movies! Movies! Movies! Movies in my BRAIN! Movies in my VEIN… S!”

  1. PWG said

    I’m going to put gas in my car at lunch, and I’m going to try paying for it with Bachmann fantasy world Eskimo kisses. If you never don’t hear from me soon, I’m probably in the county lockup for petit theft.

    I’m reading Storm Front by Jim Butcher, and I can’t recommend it – partially because Storm Front is also the name of some jackass White Pride group of tools, and I think about that every time I pick it up. It’s a mixture of noir detective and, I don’t know, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Eh, I’m only reading it on a recommendation and it’s taking forever because it’s boring and I keep falling asleep.

  2. Awesome issues here. I am very happy to peer your post. Thanks a lot and I am looking ahead to touch you. Will you please drop me a e-mail?

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