Why Be Different? Let’s Talk About What People Are Talking About…

August 25, 2011

Yesterday, on Twitter, Jim Carrey released this video message…

This creepy video message…

To Emma Stone…

This creepy video message about wanting to have sex and marry and grow old with Emma Stone…

If it wasn’t for the 27 year age difference…

Honestly, I think it is amazing.

First reaction – Amazing.

Second reaction – Agreed.

Who isn’t on the “I would like to have sex, breed with, and marry Emma Stone” bandwagon? You know who isn’t? Losers. Losers and people who given up hope. That’s who. Also, people who don’t know who Emma Stone is. I think we’re all assuming everyone has seen Superbad aren’t we? Or the trailers for The Help. But in The Help she’s got that golly gee accent and they’ve frizzed up her hair. Why so frizzy, Emma? Can I call you, Emma? Can I call you, Em? Can I call you? Give me your number!

Anyway, I thought the video was both parts creepy and hysterical.

Sure, I think it is a joke. Sure, I also think given the opportunity that Jim Carrey would wedge his hard Bruce Almighty into her tight The Majestic. Maybe get some Fun with Dick and Jane action until their sheets are still wet with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Or simply play Ace Ventura: Pet Detective with her pussy. She owns a cat, right?

Nevertheless, I think this proves yet again that Jim Carrey is crazy, still funny, and should play a serial killer. I want Jim Carrey to stop making kids movies so badly. I want him to play a villain again soon and then he can get back to playing the Joe Every-Guy roles he loves to play. How about a Joe Every-Guy that then turns into a serial killer sociopath?!

I bet if you talked to Jim Carrey about that he would offer up that The Number 23 was that and that failed or something. Yeah, well that movie sucked. What do you want from me, Jim? You should have read the script or realized Joel Schumacher was going to make it whacky. You worked with him before. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is Jim’s best Every-Guy role, but his best roles are the crazy ones. Batman Forever, Me, Myself & Irene, Lemony Snicket, Ace Ventura, Dumb & Dumber… and his greatest The Cable Guy.

Secondly, the clock has started and I’m giving it by the end of September that we see Jim Carrey and Emma Stone together in pictures… and after that when there aren’t pictures…. she and he are banging out that 27 year old age gap.

What else are people talking about?

HURRICANE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!

!

Hurricane?! We just had an earthquake for the first time in something exactly like a million years and then a hurricane is coming, so everyone is officially on a Jim Carrey level of craziness about the end of the world.

Listen, if the end of the world happens the prophetic moment will not be a little shaky shaky in Virginia. It might be the non-stop death war murder spree explosion innocents killed over there in what is called the rest of the world and not some random ass earthquake that didn’t do anything. One would think the non-stop killing of others where war is a constant like in the Middle East or in Africa or even those World Wars we had or the bombings in Northern Ireland or any place in anytime where people are just killing each other without mercy – that might be a better sign for the end of days than the ground shaking a bit. You would think those people who rush to their religious texts to worry about the world coming to an end might be a little more concerned about that other stuff mentioned than just a shaky shaky for 10 seconds. That’s just me, but I also don’t believe in the end of days.

Regardless, a hurricane is coming… or not. It’s wind. It kind of does what it wants.

All I care about is that it doesn’t rain Friday night because I hate carrying around an umbrella especially in New York City.

And, that I don’t lose power Saturday night because there are UFC fights live from Rio, BRAZIL! I want to watch those so badly. I wish I was there so badly, but at the very least I want to watch. Don’t fuck this up, hurricane. Wind. Stupid wind.

Anything else?

My iPhone will never be the same

Steve Jobs retired, but kind of didn’t. He retired from being CEO, but he’s still the head of the board of directors.

Why?

Well’s he had this thing called cancer for awhile and every time we see him people mention how sickly and how much skinnier he’s getting and he’s going to step down from being CEO and well he finally did. Breaking news indeed.

It sucks for him with the cancer. I wish him the best with that.

Anything else?

Rhianna Could Have A Sex Tape

I’m betting she does have a sex tape, but the question is – are we going to see it?

I’m definitely looking more forward to that being released in September than any other movie coming out next month.

Questions?

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7 Responses to “Why Be Different? Let’s Talk About What People Are Talking About…”

  1. PWG said

    I’m so frightened for Emma Stone.

  2. tiffanized said

    I hate that I can’t see the video because I’m on my phone. I’m dying to know what’s happening in there. Isn’t he married to Jenny McCarthy? I don’t know what’s happening with Hollywood anymore, since I’m sitting here waiting for the US to become a third world country with the economy and nutso weather.

    I didn’t know there was a fight Saturday. I have a wedding on Saturday. Not mine, obviously, no one would marry ME. Also a friend’s band is playing that night and if you buy a cup at their show you get it refilled with beer for $1 per pour all night long. If Irene fucks it up I’m going to send God an invoice for the full price beer I have to drink at home in the dark.

  3. PWG said

    I can think of at least six people who would marry you.

  4. You know, I honestly think that Emma Stone should just go ahead and fuck Jim Carrey because WHY THE FUCK NOT FUCK JIM CARREY? A 27 year age difference isn’t the craziest thing I’ve ever heard…

    Also, I hope this video gets the world to stop pretending like Emma Stone is the “quirky weird how-could-he-like-her?!” girl that Hollywood keeps trying to pretend she is. Oh she has red hair? HOW WEIRD. And a raspy voice? HOW QUIRKY. She’s gorgeous and funny and I’d touch her boobies if she let me so let’s all stop pretending otherwise.

    Uhhh anyway. Watch out for that hurricane. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be playing beer pong under a tent because I make good decisions.

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