Zachary Quinto is GAY – my life is now UNchanged forEVER

October 17, 2011

Good morning or afternoon… hmmm… Good aftermorning!

Good aftermorning to all of you!

I’m sure it is partially past the morning period of time when you sit down and take time off from the rest of the machine gun shoot outs and drag races of your normal daily routine. In between your high violent life and non-stop thrill rides, a refreshing blog post of my ramblings is just the ticket to get you pumped for another 1/4 mile race for pink slips or firing off banana clips from your AK-47. Right? So… good aftermorning, you.

I have a lot of random topics to touch on. To tickle. To light graze with my fingertips like a slight rustle of wind the blows up or down your shirt and it’s really God or a ghost or Aeolus (side character on Hercules) feeling up your boobies and if you’re wearing a skirt then feeling up your butt and even naughtier places like your butthole. Am. I. RIGHT?!

What am I talking about? Today is a miscellaneous day of “information”.

Let’s get into IT!

GAY

THIS GUY IS GAY!!!!

DO YOU HEAR THAT AMERICA?!!! THIS GUY ^^^^ HE’S GAY!!!

HE’S ONE OF THEM!!! … oh who the fuck cares?

Seriously?!

This might sound insensitive, but Zachary Quinto isn’t famous enough for anyone to be going “he’s gay? O.M.G.!” over. I’m pretty sure the majority of the world has forgotten Heroes even existed, which is a good thing and even less actually went and saw the new Star Trek. Nevertheless, I did watch Heroes until I wanted to scratch out my eyes from its idiocy and I did see Star Trek, which was ok.

Either way, I just randomly read that Quinto was gay, which doesn’t at all surprise me. Why? HE’S AN ACTOR!!!!!!

When did being an actor not automatically carry a gay tag on it? I have absolutely no idea. I think actors need to prove they’re straight. I think all actors are gay. Every single one of them. They’re gay until proven straight in my opinion.

Am I wrong in this? Weren’t the guys who were drama clubs in high school or apart of the school plays all gay? Yes! Yes they were. Those are the same guys who are in our movies running around in spandex pretending like they can fly. Yes! I know it is so hard to imagine all these guys dressing up and acting all sad and play kissing girls are all gay! It’s crazy!

Anyway… if this at all helps out Zach with his life then good for him, but who cares. He’s gay. He’s a good looking gay guy with money like there aren’t a million of them walking around. I can only imagine a gay OKcupid for dudes is like an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog and each has a bank account.

Also, I heard about this app for your iPhone called “Grindr” which pretty much acts like Yelp, but with gay dudes who want IT. I guess gays are still persecuted a little, but if you can stick to a metropolitan area of this country then being gay sounds like everyday is IHOP’s free pancake day.

THE WALKING DEAD

If you watched The Walking Dead last night then … WTF?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THAT’S HOW THEY END THE DAMN EPISODE?! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I’M SO CRAZED ABOUT HOW THAT EPISODE ENDED IT’S LIKE A 1000 ZACHARY QUINTO’S ANNOUNCED THEY WERE GAY!!!!

If you haven’t watched The Walking Dead last night and DVRed it and so forth… no spoilers will be posted.

It was a good episode and I’m glad the show is back. It seems like AMC has my back because we’re drifting from my favorite show Breaking Bad into another great show in The Walking Dead and now they’re advertising a western called Hell on Wheels, which looks like that could be promising.

My gripes with The Walking Dead really is with how I would lead a team of people through a zombie apocalypse.

First thing first, if a zombie apocalypse strikes- everyone is carrying a metal baseball bat.

EVERYONE CARRIES A METAL BASEBALL BAT!!!!!

Everyone from little kids to old ass adults. A metal baseball bat would easily put an end to a zombie. I don’t know why they are not all carrying around metal baseball bats. If/when a zombie apocalypse happens – you will find me at the nearest sporting goods store. Pretty much everything you need to survive a zombie apocalypse is at your neighborhood sporting goods store. That goes from literally your local one run by the guy who lettered in every sport in high school, but then blew out his knees freshman year in college, so his parents and him opened up a sporting goods store in town… to a big chain sporting goods store like Sports Authority or Dick’s Sporting Goods will be even better and, of course, finally the mecca of all zombie apocalypse wannabe heroes … CABELA’S!

http://www.cabelas.com/

If/when a zombie apocalypse happens – you will find me at the nearest Cabela’s, which I believe is in Hamburg, Pennsylvania. The second closest is in Connecticut, but I hate that state, so probably not there. Anyway, I will help lead the next generation of human beings to not only survive, but WIN the zombie war and the headquarters, ground zero and all that will be at Cabela’s in Hamburg, PA.

If you’ve never been to a Cabela’s… peruse the website and tell me how I’m wrong that this isn’t exactly the place you need to be at.

So, if you want to survive the zombies… get your metal baseball bat (if you can figure out how to keep a spool of barbwire to stay attached to it that would be cool too) and head on over to Cabela’s. Once we get a nice army over there then we can start taking the fight to the zombies and in that world wearing camo clothes, carrying shotguns, camping in a department store and driving ATVs out on zombie killing sprees it will be one long Daryle Singletary song…

The second gripe I have with the show… not enough molotov cocktails.

That’s another thing you’re going to get used to when I’m the de-facto President of the USA of Cabela’s when the zombies strike- molotov cocktails. You’re going to get used to hearing about them, making them and using them.

I’m going to be asking for you to give me a molotov cocktail or make me one or to use one so often that you’re going to start calling me “Molotov”. President Molotov of the Cabela’s Continent.

After we take residence in the Cabela’s, we will create battlement fortifications as if we were trying to keep the rampaging visigoths out of the Cabela’s. Including a fire trench. And everyone is going to get real used to throwing a lit molotov cocktail into a sea of zombies and watching those motherfuckers burn because our mission will be to destroy all zombies and it starts with metal baseball bats and molotov cocktails.

MOVIES

I saw 50/50. It is sad and you will cry from a little to a lot depending on how big of a wuss you are… just kidding. I guess really depending on how many ovaries you have. If you have zero ovaries then you will still shed some tears, but if you have a lot of ovaries then you’ll be crying a lot.

It was a good movie and funny and as mentioned it is sad. I recommend that you see it. I know you’ll try to fight this and decide to go see The Help for the fifth time just to spite me, but you’ll be missing out on a legitimately good movie from 2011, which has been very far and few between.

I downloaded a couple movies Senna and Melancholia. I watched the first 20 minutes of both last night. I’m expecting to really like Senna. It is a documentary about a Brazilian formula 1 driver and him winning 3 big races and then dying at 34 years old. It’s all archival footage and no new interviews and it looks like it will be as good as all the amazing reviews I’ve read said it is. As for Melancholia, not sure about this one. I think the majority of people watching that movie would be justified in giving up within the first 5 minutes. The next 15 haven’t been anything special either. I’m not sure how this will unfold, but at the moment it’s a Robert Altman film and to me Robert Altman is boring and lacks a script, that’s what this feels like. There are a lot of close-ups of Kirsten Dunst in a wedding dress thus far, so if you like that then you should really see this movie. I’m hoping it gets better…. A LOT BETTER!

Meanwhile…

I saw this picture of the WANTESS and she looks rather insane in it.

I think the people of SWATH gave too much and too fast to Kristen that her brain went a little nutty.

First – they gave Kristen Stewart boobs. That must have been incredibly exciting for everyone involved because I’m excited just looking at the picture let alone being there for the unveiling.

Second – they gave Kristen Stewart a horse. That’s too much for her want to handle. It almost looks like the frenzy has taken a hold of Kristen and she might sink her teeth into the horse. Don’t eat the horse, Kristen Stewart!

FOOTBALL

Tonight, the New York Jets take on the Miami Dolphins on MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!

Generally speaking, I think the Jets will win, but but but butt buttttttttt butt butt but, what if the Dolphins won?!

That would be amazing.

The Jets are 2-3 and have lost their last 3 games in a row on the road. The Jets are also having a lot of locker room problems, which does stem from losing 3 games in a row. The Jets offense is not clicking and they’re a little banged up and they’re frustrated with themselves and each other. The Jets defense hasn’t been playing great, but they’re doing better than the offense. They haven’t had too much success stopping the run and they’re not sacking quarterbacks. But Darrelle Revis is still playing his nuts off.

The Dolphins are 0-4 and nothing is looking good for them. Their starting quarterback Chad Henne is out for the season, but they were already losing games with him playing. Their best wide receiver Brandon Marshall isn’t doing much on the field and he’s been recently diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder (BPD) which is a really really bad personality disorder to be have. Their young rookie running back Daniel Thomas will probably play tonight, but he’ll be playing injured. Their defense is meh and at the same time can get burned real bad for long touchdowns. The Dolphins are struggling right now, but they’re playing their rivals in the Jets and they have to go into this game with a nothing to lose attitude where they could make some magic happen.

I love football.

I love you? too.

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7 Responses to “Zachary Quinto is GAY – my life is now UNchanged forEVER”

  1. Axiom said

    You are an Ancoholic and you need help…. Pronto!

    No wonder your always insulting others and speaking in the most vile manner about the Genitalia of young women…..

    your brain is so, pumped with the shit of micro organisms that your poor brain cannot receive enough electrical impulses to carry out REASON, not to mention the destruction of brain cells, because it’s so over stuffed with the shit of those tiny, little parasites that make alcoholic beverages possible…

    but I guess that is what you get when you pour the excrement of micro organisms dawn your mouth on a daily basis?… 😦

    Please seek help… I’m sure you’re a good person.. after it all….

  2. almond said

    Nice boobs, crazy eyes and cute horse. If SWATH offers that, I’ll definitely watch it.

  3. Nix said

    My Dad firmly believes all male ballet dancers are gay. Which I guess isn’t that much of a stretch. But then one principle male ballet dancer went and married….a female principle ballet dancer. There were horrified gasps. I guess it takes all sorts.

    Hey Axiom *waves*

    • Does he know about the male ballet dancer that knocked up Natalie Portman? HE PUT HIS P IN HER V! That’s pretty straight. Just don’t tell him at the dinner table – I don’t want him choking on anything out of shock.

  4. cledbo said

    FOOTBALL. Well, Australia lost to the All Blacks so I’m sadface about one of our kinds of football here (Rugby, which is like American football but with no pads but also no spear tackling).

    Planning for the zombie apocalypse is something me and Mr Cledbo do over a beer or two on lazy Friday afternoons. Our dream house is planned accordingly – high walls, no outside windows, armoured automatic garage door, lovely internal courtyard with balcony (and will also be effective against burglars and serial killers, which is convenient).
    I think Homer Simpson said it best – “It was as satisfying as a cluster bomb wiping out a graveyard full of zombies.” *ahhhh*

  5. tiffanized said

    I knew I should’ve worn a skirt today. My butthole has gone completely untickled.

    I can lay awake at night worrying about zombies. And the Mayan calendar, and planets coming out of nowhere to explode the earth, and mutant viruses. I like to think I’m a rational person, but after 11 pm all bets are off. That goes double if I’ve been drinking, which means that goes double most of the time. I couldn’t even make it through Zombieland. If I were to watch The Walking Dead there’s a pretty good chance I’d never sleep again, so I steer clear of AMC and all the channels surrounding it, just in case. I already have to stand on my bed and launch myself out of it to avoid whatever is under there waiting to grab my feet in the night. I’m a big pussy, is what I’m saying here.

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