These are tough times and we will need each other’s strength to get through this…

November 14, 2011

There will not be a proper post today and probably not tomorrow either.

What?

WHAT?

WHAT?! NO!!!!!

WHY?! HAST THOUST FORSAKENST USSSTTT!?!?!?!

Well, I had a weird night’s sleep, which really only started at 6am. I couldn’t fall asleep even with the Ambien last night. I found myself not really rolling back and forth, but simply not yawning. I didn’t feel tired. Then I made things worse by watching the final Harry Potter movie. That was two hours or something and by the end of it I was ready to go do something else besides be in my room and sleep in it. I kind of wanted to talk about Harry Potter… and not in a good way. I kind of wanted to talk about all my gripes I have with this movie series.

I feel like at least 50% of these movies (all of them) are “you had to have read the book” moments. They don’t proper explain any of it. That’s what I’m guessing at least. I haven’t read a single sentence from the Harry Potter books, so I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt that they properly explain things. I imagine they don’t explain the real minutia, which I would like to know like why they use certain spells some times and not others and what is stopping them from using powerful spells over and over again and when the wizards fight in the movies they are not yelling out spells names more than they are literally waving a wand at each other and the wand is firing off red and green blasts of something like they’re firing a gun… a gun that shoots FABULOUSNESS.

I also don’t understand what Voldemort’s whole plan is with anything. Yeah, I don’t really get why he’s doing any of the things he’s doing. I get that he’s evil, but why does he want the wizards to join him? Join him to do what? Is it to take over the world? Or just the wizard world? And once he takes over the wizard world, what does that do for him? If all he wanted to do was kill everyone, I could understand that more, but still why? What’s the end game there too? You just want everyone dead? Then just kill everyone you see one right after another?

Also, I don’t get Hogwarts. There are 4 (right?) houses in Hogwarts. One is good, two mean nothing, and the last may mean you’re an evil twat looking to be an even more evil twat. Why would you keep House Sliteren or whatever around if they’re seemingly evil? Honestly, I don’t even know what the point of the school is and don’t understand why there are separate houses at all. Are there separate houses just to pit the kids against each other as rivals for the rest of their lives? Sounds like a shitty school? Forcing children to become friends with only a select portion of society and on top of that this house you now belong to will mold your personality and future actions most likely. Seems like a very conservative dictatorship.

The more of these movies I have watched the less all of it made sense, most likely because there was just more of it and they never addressed, at least in the movies, what these people wanted in the end. Ok, Voldemort wants to be alive again, sure, he wants to kill Harry Potter, who doesn’t, he wants to run Hogwarts? Yeah? He wanted to destroy Hogwarts? Yeah? Why? Why would he want to destroy Hogwarts and/or keep it in business with himself as the principal? So… he just wants to teach kids to be evil? That’s what this is all about? Or he doesn’t want to teach kids to be evil and wants no more magic users besides himself and then he’ll just play with himself and his snake in his magic world of complete solitude.

I’m going to tell you what… Voldemort was either a-sexual or a severely repressed homosexual. Either way, he wasn’t allowing himself to have sex. Voldemort was definitely still a virgin. And he gave up hope for sexual encounters once he got the snake face. That’s a man who has never jerked off. That’s what has cloudy his brain with all this evil and violence. Voldemort is so backed up with semen that he has become obsessed with killing children, potentially running a school, and his only confidant is snake who he speaks to in their secret language.

Basically, what I’m saying is that someone should’ve fucked Voldemort and/or Tom Riddle. One of those chicks from one of the two houses or from Slitheren or whatever should’ve taken it upon herself to just get the dude addicted to pussy or one of the gay guys should have snuck up on Tom in the shower and shown him the gay ways… the ways of the gay… and this wouldn’t have happened.

Also…

I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to post tomorrow because I have some shit scheduled tomorrow.

Also also…

I hope you all had a great weekend.

Advertisements

7 Responses to “These are tough times and we will need each other’s strength to get through this…”

  1. tiffanized said

    I have no idea what it would be like to watch the Harry Potter movies without reading the books. I feel like I could explain Voldemort’s motivations fairly well with some white supremacy metaphors, but God that’s a lot to ask of me on a Monday. Not to mention I’m pissed to the max that I didn’t get to bat Axiom around in comments on Friday.

    Sorry you couldn’t sleep. I felt that way after I watched Suckerpunch and also after every episode of American Horror Story.

  2. KStewBoy said

    Hhaha – have no fears, Tiff. I’m sure you-know-who will be back in short order.
    I’ve not read a line of any HP book, nor seen a second of any film. When I was a young nerdling playing D&D I always hated the magic part of the game. Like, can we just fight with swords like normal people, please?

  3. “House Sliteren” sounds like a much more x-rated Harry Potter than I’m familiar with.

  4. PWG said

    I think you can divide the world into followers and leaders. You’d think everyone would want to be in charge, right? Get to have all the power, get to be all bossy and tell everyone what to do? Wrong. Tons of people hate responsibility and hate to get in trouble if they make a bad decision. They’d rather do nothing than do something wrong.

    The second group can’t STAND it when the first group keeps doing stuff WRONG and fucking everything UP, when if they’d just LISTEN, they could stop wasting everyone’s time. I’m pretty sure Voldemort falls into that second group. He’s more of an obsessive organizer, really, wants to get the world ship-shape in the shortest amount of time. And honestly, if you were tidying up the world, wouldn’t it go a lot quicker if you could avada kedavra all the homicidal warlords, child molesters and animal abusers on the planet? Voldemort is using different criteria, that’s all. More like “gingers” and “orphans” and so on.

    I’m not saying all Type A people are evil, but if you are going to be evil on a massive scale it’s more efficient if you have a can-do, take charge attitude. Like my doctor always says, “The world is a MESS, and I just need to rule it.”

  5. PWG said

    Speaking of weird power grabs, I have no idea why Herman Cain wants to be President. He seems really annoyed by the whole campaign process, and I keep wondering why he’s still showing up. Some politicians want power, some want attention, but he seems like some disgruntled man who lost a bet and was forced to run for President.

  6. PWG said

    I watched the UFC Velasquez vs dos Santos fight on FOX. I fast forwarded through all the hype and ended up watching a minute long fight. That’s the kind of efficiency I can get behind.

  7. cledbo said

    Damn I was all excited that 6 comments mean whatsitsface was here calling you a pimp with AIDS again for talking about sex. But it was the hilarity of Pweeg – now that’s waffle *I* can get behind, lol.

    I read the first book during schoolies week (aka end of year 12 drinking and smoking binge) and didn’t care for it. We then went to see the movie during said schoolies week, and while it made some sense in that I’d read the book, I still didn’t care for it. I think I saw the second and fourth ones too, the one where that chick who looks like Helena Bonham Carter but isn’t is haunting the girls toilets, and the one where fake-Rob, the Wonder Years edition, dies.

    I hate that just can’t sleep thing. The last time I had that was after a formal function when the same day I’d had 4 vaccinations (3 in one arm, damn sadistic doctor!) so I couldn’t booze up like I wanted, and then I was sleeping on a couch and just couldn’t get comfortable (probably due to the SEARING PAIN IN MY ARMS) so I slept maybe two lots of half an hour and then had to go be a soldier all the next day.
    That was a really long sentence. I am unapologetic.

    Have fun with your scheduled shit, I hope it’s everything you planned it to be.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: