It Is Monday And I’m Talking Stuff… So Yeah… Thanks For Reading It

December 5, 2011

I was in such a deep sleep this morning that when up I felt like I was Andy Doufrain breaking out of Shawkshank.

Happy Monday!

You’re still here?… I meant, you’re still HERE! YES! THANK YOU!!!!!! I love you?

It is another day and another week of another month and we’re coming up on another year, which is all very true and benign.

So what’s great in this world on this great today?!

TEBOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes!

Cheer!

This!

MAN!

I have talked about this fella’ a number of times and it wasn’t too long ago I did an entire post on him I believe – I take all these drugs, so I forget things – and still there is just not enough being said about what is happening in Denver.

And BELIEVE ME I do know that it is not all Tebow’s doing.

The Denver Broncos are playing like a single minded team and in that way I do think that has to do with Tebow. It is difficult to be a skeptic and a cynic when his own teammates say the same. The Denver Broncos’ defense are playing like MEN for the first time since that 6-0 or 7-0 streak that Joshy McDaniels had them on. Yesterday, the Broncos were without their star rookie linebacker Von Miller, but they still played great. I think the Broncos would have played even better defensively and would have kept the game a little lower scoring possibly if Von was playing, but who knows. For the Vikings, their rookie quarterback Christian Ponder played very well up until the point that he single handily lost the game by throwing an interception with almost no time left in the game. But he’s got a nice future ahead of him. As for Tebow’s old teammate, PERCY MOTHERFUCKING HARVIN played his balls off yesterday. He played so well yesterday that he actually released himself from his testicles. They fell off because of how well he played. They just couldn’t keep up. Good thing though was that he kept playing so great that a new pair of testicles grew in place of the others. Basically, if you’re trying to procreate with Minnesota Vikings’ wide receiver (who also returns punts and plays running back) Percy Harvin then you’re good to go. Also, if you’re considering having a test tube baby or you want to raise a baby as a single mother and need a donor with amazing genetics and drive towards excellence then I will help you come up with some schemes where we can get Percy Harvin’s seed for your baby. Ok?

What was I talking about?

TEBOW!

The Left Hand played better than he’s played all this year – statistically. I think Tebow really plays up or down to his competition if he’s allowed to. The Detroit Lions didn’t allow anything from Tebow, but when given the opportunity then the kid can make the plays he needs to make and same goes for the rest of this team.

If you’re a Denver Broncos fan, you should be losing your mind excited. You’re playing with house money right now!

First, TEBOW!

You have the most talked about and, arguably, the most exciting player in football. He’s a kid who is at the forefront of a football team that was destined to keep losing and he has now gone 6-1 and your team is at the top of your division. You’re 7-5 and on a 5 game winning streak meanwhile Oakland is 7-5, but they just came off an historic ass whipping from the Miami Dolphins.

Second, YOU’RE FUCKING WINNING!!!!

Do you know how many teams would like to be on a 5 game winning streak?

If you’re a Broncos fan… buy a jersey and wear it proudly.

Buy a Tebow jersey. Buy a Von Miller jersey. Buy an Elvis Dumervil jersey. Buy a Willis McGahee jersey. Buy a Matt Prater jersey. Buy a Brian Dawkins jersey. Buy a Champ Bailey jersey. Buy an Andre Goodman jersey. BUY A FUCKING JERSEY!

Buy a Denver Broncos jacket or something. Wearing it with pride like you have a lesbian daughter who just got married in Iowa.

So there’s that…

Also…

The Pittsburgh Steelers kicked the dicks in of the Cincinnati Bengals and those dicks won’t come out for awhile because of that.

BLACK AND GOLD!!!!!

DICK KICKERS!!!!!

I do hope and pray and would love to see the Bengals right the wrong that happened to them in their first meeting with the Baltimore Ravens and defeat them. And if I coached the Bengals, I would focus every single person on stopping Ray Rice and I would force Joe Flacco to win that game for them from the first minute to the last. Ray Rice is a must.

Anyway…

What else is going on?

Boxing? I watched Cotto/Margarito II over the weekend and it was meh. It was kind of what I expected. I don’t think Margarito will ever be the same. Whether he was a cheater or not, boxers are not scared of him and now that Pacquiao destroyed his eye and Cotto did the same, that’s what everyone will do. Either way, the most exciting thing about the whole fight was the cut away shots to their wives…

And I have failed…

DAMN IT!

I was trying to find pictures of Michelle Margarito from Saturday night. She’s a lovely slender lady who got all dressed up to see her husband fight and she looked a tad ridiculous. First, the make-up. She (as well as Cotto’s wife and all the related women of these two women) was covered in make-up. She looked like a Mexican geisha or a runway model trying to look like she’s wearing too much make-up. Second, her hair was so flat ironed and black it looked like a nylon wig. Third, she was wearing a tight leather red looking motorcycle jacket with a black mock turtleneck deal underneath. So basically, she looked like a Milla Jovovich-esque ninja assassin from the future.

Meanwhile, Cotto’s wife – Melissa Guzman Cotto – looked like a similar sight as Michelle, but only in the face region because the rest of her was more on par with those Jessica Simpson pictures I posted on Friday.

BLUH-DOW!!!!!

Those things were every where on Saturday night. God bless her. Well… God blessed her already with amazing juggs, but God bless her again for showing them off to the world.

Anyway…

I saw most of Fright Night (the remake) over the weekend and it was good. It was funny and clever and well done. If you like those sort of movies comedy/horror then you should check it out.

What else is going on?

Is there something I should be talking about?

How was your weekend?

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3 Responses to “It Is Monday And I’m Talking Stuff… So Yeah… Thanks For Reading It”

  1. According to some tweets I’ve seen, “football people” are saying there’s a [somewhat good] chance the Broncos could beat the Patriots in a few weeks? I’d like this to happen. I don’t have a favorite team, but I do have a least favorite team. And that least favorite teams’ QB wears Uggs. Get to prayin’, Tebow!

  2. MyRobbie said

    Err, apparently the Stew gets nekkid *and* is in a three-way (wherein she is nekkid, duh, that was redundant) in On the Road, so I’m totally expecting you to weigh in on that. That’s the something else you should be talking about, I guess.

    Also, we went to the Mac store in the Freehold Mall yesterday (me and the fam) and I got good Jordan-y vibes being there. Actually, not really, I wanted to go berserker in there, there were so many people. On the plus side, aggressive skin-care lady wasn’t around, so the whole trip was a wash!

    Happy Monday! (Oh and I like to pretend I live in a universe where football doesn’t exist. No offense.)

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