A Look Back At The Movies Of 2011 That I Actually Saw…

December 22, 2011

I’m going through all the movies I have seen in 2011 and giving them one sentence reviews.

And here we go…

The Dilemma sucked

The Green Hornet was meh at points and overall pretty stupid.

Cedar Rapids was amazing and easily one of the funniest movies this year.

I Am Number Four was hysterically terrible and a perfect movie to openly talk/criticize during.

Drive Angry 3D was actually pretty good, except it does start to unravel near the end.

The Adjustment Bureau was, also, hysterically terrible and a perfect movie to openly talk/criticize during.

Rango is up there with best animation ever, but the storyline doesn’t make any sense (not meaning the animals talking bit).

Take Me Home Tonight was watchable and made me laugh a couple times, but should have just stayed on the shelf where it had been collecting dust for 5 years.

Win Win was a solidly good movie, but not nearly as good as the director’s first two efforts The Visitor and The Station Agent.

Sucker Punch was great and I loved it and I know I’m on the minority opinion of that, but at one time the minority opinion was that slavery was bad and now look where that opinion is, so at some point people will realize that this movie is crazy fun with hot chicks dressed as school girls and ninja killing robot samurais with a pretty dark dream plot attached.

Rubber was decent and at times pretty fun for an absurdist independent film, but it was pretty slow and seemed to be fairly pointless.

Source Code was wildly underrated and forgotten, which is too bad because it was easily one of the more enjoyable and entertaining films this year.

Super was really great and was everything I could have asked for from a low budget Kick Ass and should have been put out in theaters because it would have done pretty well.

Hanna had some good action, but was crazy inconsistent and overall was pretty forgettable unless you intend on writing a Saoirse Ronan biography in 20 years entitled “Meryl Streep who?”

Meek’s Cutoff was too indy for its own good that they didn’t have enough money to purchase any character development or climax or a second act or a third act, but it was pretty.

Your Highness was pretty forgettable even though it was pretty funny at times, but what started out as a joke between Danny McBride and David Gordon Green from their college days never got too far past that, but I will give them all the thanks in the world for that Natalie Portman in a thong scene.

13 Assassins was one of the best films this year and in large part you can skip the entire first hour if you want to because the second hour’s prolonged action scene is so well done that it will be very well remembered in film history.

Fast Five was undeniably entertaining from beginning to end with well directed action scenes and spending only moments on storyline plus The Rock.

The Robber was a good and interesting flick and even more so it was one of the only German films I have ever seen that was not in some way about World War II, which made it even more enjoyable.

Hobo with a Shotgun was easily one of the worst movies I’ve ever watched, not joking, and felt insulted throughout most of it that people would even venture to think I might like it.

Thor was easily one of the worst movies I’ve ever watched, not joking, and felt insulted throughout most of it that people would even venture to think I might like it.

Bridesmaids was easily one of the funniest movies this year and showed that all of the women involved in the movie could very well front their own comedies and my only real problem with the movie is that in the second half it does stray from what the movie was billed as a chick The Hangover.

Everything Must Go was a drama and I was not expecting that from the cheery trailers and posters, but it was good and at other times it was bad because it was pretty damn depressing.

Hesher was a good movie through and through, but it didn’t live up to its indy hype, but it’s definitely a must see if you’re Jospeh Gordon Levitt fan.

Midnight in Paris was surprisingly funny because Woody Allen hasn’t made a good movie in YEARS, but this movie felt like a lot of Allen’s early work where it is offbeat, pretty much just an Allen daydream and in the end the solution is banging a hot and younger woman than you currently have.

I’m going to lunch, so I’ll be back with the other half of this list later today.

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!

AND I’M BACK!!!!

The Hangover Part II was funny, but not as funny as the original in large part that it was too much like the original, but in all honesty what in the hell was it going to be like if it wasn’t like the original, so it’s OK.

Submarine was cute especially if you think that prep school British boys who think they’re Max Fischer from Rushmore, but aren’t are cute, but really it was just a simple rom com and passable for good.

X-Men: First Class was good and bad just like the other X-Men movies and would’ve been better if they solely focused on the two characters they actually put time into (Professor X and Magneto and I guess in a smaller part Sebastian Shaw), but Jennifer Lawrence is beautiful and it was pretty entertaining.

Super 8 is really overrated because I see people talking about this being one of the best of the year, but it was really just an odd mash-up of Cloverfield and E.T. and that’s that, so it was fine and well made, but forgettable in the long run.

The Trip is probably the best movie I’ve seen this year through and through with hilarity, innovation, and at the same time it didn’t try to be more than it was, which was an intimate comedy between two excellent comedic actors who work perfectly together (Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon).

Green Lantern, honestly, I didn’t watch this whole movie, but I saw most of it and it sucked, but I wanted to be completely transparent here and say I did miss  the beginning of the movie, which doesn’t matter because this movie was garbage.

Bad Teacher had one funny scene where Justin Timberlake dry humps Cameron Diaz until he cums in his jeans, which was unexpected and really the only part of the movie that was even remotely not boring.

Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop was good and I don’t want to make it sound like it wasn’t very good and a fun watch, but this documentary is for people who watch Conan O’Brien regularly, but if you do watch Conan O’Brien regularly they you already know all of this and what Conan does regularly is funnier than what is in this movie, so it’s a double edged sword in that sense.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon was similarly terrible and stupidly fun as the others, but I will say this is the worst of those three movies and not like I’m dying to see Michael Bay make Voltron a live-action movie, but Michael Bay really should have made Voltron instead of Transformers because Voltron is about the people who pilot the robots and that’s what Michael Bay would rather focus on and did in Transformers, which is a big problem because people don’t pilot robots in Transformers and the focus of Transformers is the robots and not the people – food for thought.

Terri was funny at times and thoughtful at other times and short and without a conclusion and featured an awkward sex scene, so it was exactly what an independent comedy is about, so if you like those then see this.

Horrible Bosses was funnier than I expected from this Hollywood style comedy, but with that it is pretty paint-by-numbers and could have been better, but would be a solid rental.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 was better than Part 1, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how glad I am that I never have to see these movies ever again and how they are little more than kids movies for kids to see and as such they’re just not that good.

Captain America: First Avenger was so much better than I expected and all its goodness was its own and the bad parts of the movie were the parts that tried to tie this movie to the retched movies like Thor, so I liked this a bunch and it’s another great job by Chris Evans and Hugo Weaving.

Attack the Block was also so much better than I expected as a sci-fi action comedy and it is short, so if you are interested in watching some of London’s chavs fight werewolf style aliens then this is the best you’re going to get.

Cowboys & Aliens was a waste of my time and anyone else’s who saw it or spent time on it.

The Future was good if you like Miranda July, but if you don’t then don’t see it, but if you do then do see it because it’s pretty good.

The Guard was about what I was expecting and is a solid B to B+ movie that follows Brendan Gleeson around like a puppy, but it’s a pretty small scoped movie, so don’t expect the world, but it’s good.

Point Blank is a very well done action/thriller with some really great set pieces and I highly recommend it if you like movies with subtitles or if you speak French.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes was WAAAAYYYY better than I expected and by that I mean it was a B to B+ movie and I expected a D or an F, but it is a pretty solid story that has enjoyable action and the monkey interaction scenes are reminiscent of movies like Quest for Fire and other kind of experimental sci-fi.

30 Minutes or Less is funny and really funny if you like the people in it, but it’s as fulfilling as the fast food delivery pizza as is referenced in the title.

Senna is an excellent documentary about a Brazilian Formula 1 driver and is crazy good even if you know nothing about race car driving, but it is sad as most documentaries are, so remember that and its all subtitles unless you speak Portuguese.

Fright Night was exactly what the reviews said – funny, a few scares, and pretty good action, but terrible CGI – it is a good rental if you like horror comedies.

Our Idiot Brother was definitely funny especially if you like some stoner humor and was a better movie than the reviews gave it credit for and I was pleasantly surprised by everything and everyone involved.

The Debt is OK, but it is really a half-assed Munich and the only real redeeming quality to the film is how pretty Jessica Chastain is and sure Sam Worthington is pretty with short hair too.

Warrior was nothing special and is enjoyable for people who don’t actually watch cagefighting and people who want to see Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton be cry babies.

Drive was one of the best films of this year and a very well done throwback to 70’s style mob/revenge movies and the key to the movie is if you think it’s cool then you’ll love it, but if you don’t then you’ll hate it and there’s little in the middle.

Pearl Jam Twenty is a must see if you like Pearl Jam and one of the better band documentaries I’ve ever seen and it got pretty dusty for me when they talked about Kurt Cobain and really does a good job showing how great Pearl Jam is without seeming preachy at all, which is very difficult to do.

Red State sucked and a waste of everyone’s time involved in making it and watching it and reviewing it.

50/50 was one of the best movies of the year and more people should see it and it is sad and you’ll cry some to a lot and that’s that.

Martha Marcy May Marlene was also one of the best movies of this year and a captivating performance by Elizabeth Olsen and John Hawkes, but the movie is subtle and quietly terrifying and creepy, so you should probably see it (plus Elizabeth Olsen naked, yes).

Immortals was 300 meets the Harry Hamlin Clash of the Titans told by a sadist foreign weirdo, which meant it was beautiful to watch, terribly acted and some bloody action scenes, but I found as a whole entertaining and stupid.

Melancholia sucked and was boring.

Young Adult was very good, very strongly acted, and was really just another great effort by Jason Reitman and if you like his previous movies then you will like this and if you like Juno, but want an older vibe then Diablo Cody wrote this as well and it is similarly good, but darker.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows was OK, but too much like the first and too much talking actually and too many ands because the storyline is completely unpredictable because there is no line of logic to follow and it just keeps going and going and going and really anything can happen in each, but the action is well directed by Guy Ritchie and they really need better writers for these movies and less “witty” dialogue… also stop dick teasing that Rachel McAdams does anything in these movies.

That was my 2011 thus far with a little over a week left.

That’s 59 movies and I’ll end up seeing Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and Girl with a Dragon Tattoo before year’s end.

A lot of bad, some good, and even more passable to kill an hour or two.

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One Response to “A Look Back At The Movies Of 2011 That I Actually Saw…”

  1. Cledbo said

    I’ve been catching up on your madness whilst waiting for iTunes to get it’s shit together on my computer. Happy Hanukkah btw. This article made me realise just how few movies I’ve seen this year, and that in many ways that wasn’t a bad thing. There are flicks on my to-watch list which definitely feature here, though, and maybe the universe will benevolently allow me a few hours to myself next year to watch them.
    What’s your new years resolution, if you have any?

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