I Wish Boxing Day Was 24 Hours Of Boxing On TV; Merry Christmas Day +1

December 26, 2011

Whaddup, y’all!

I got so many fucking presents I can barely see straight, y’all.

I’m spending 2012 wrapped in furs and diamonds and gold and Lexus’ and drinking Dom Perignon like its Diet Coke, y’all.

Whaddup, NOW!

I’m actually wearing the same sweatshirt I usually wear with the same sweatpants I usually wear and drinking the same coffee I usually drink and my left eye is twitching the same overused eye muscles it usually twitches, y’all?

I hope you had a…


I hope you had a…


and I hope you are currently having a…


I was planning on MS-Painting a picture of Kristen Stewart into the Christmas spirit like I did last year and possibly the year before, but I forgot while watching basketball all yesterday. So I’m dreadfully sorry about that. I will lash myself with whatever it is people lash themselves with 100 times for this penance.

What did I get for Christmas?

Mostly clothes. I received several plaid/flannel button-ups. I also was awarded a track jacket adorned with Steelers regalia, which will be added to my regular choice of outdoor public ware. I did get a pair of Batman cuff-links because I’m kind of Batman in my own way, but I’m just waiting until I’m in my dirty thirties to start the vigilante crime fighting aspect.

Last, but not least… I received BOOZE!!!!

One… a bottle of Tito’s Handmade Vodka because I’m a drunk.

Two… a membership to a Whiskey of the Month club because I’m a drunk who is on the lookout for new things to drink.

What did y’all get?

I did mention in my last post that I was going to see Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo and I DID!

Both were quite enjoyable in wildly different ways…

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol – One of the best action/thrill ride movies of the year. The first three MI movies have been very different from each other because they are different directors and different producers. In this fourth installment, it is the same production crew of J.J. Abrams who directed the 3rd movie, but this time with first time human director Brad Bird who previously directed animated movies like The Incredibles. The movie is a roller coaster of fun. There are some very inventive action scenes, a few great chase scenes and all around slick action through and through. I would still say that the third MI is the best and the second MI is the worst, but between the first and fourth it is a toss-up. I’ve grown to really like the first one as this off-beat mystery that does feel like a movie based off a television show (which it is), but this fourth one is more like an upbeat James Bond film.

I think what I really liked the most about this one and the last one is the insanely no nonsense attitude of Tom Cruise’s character Ethan Hunt has. He doesn’t make a big show about what he is asked to do. He is put in a bad situation where the only way out is risking his life with little chance of survival and each and every time he does so with little back talk because that’s what he has to do and if he doesn’t do it right this moment then he’ll never have another moment to do it. Abrams’ style of not over dramatizing the situation with his directing and instead allowing the ridiculousness of the situation dramatize itself is refreshing and something I enjoy. Abrams and Bird made two clean action films and I highly suggest both of them. The main thing that separates the third from the fourth is Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the villain. PSH is an excellent bad guy in MI3 and to me is about as close to what I want from a Penguin style villain – rich guy, committing white collar crimes, not afraid to kill people and get his hands dirty. Ghost Protocol’s villain isn’t memorable, but there are a lot of wild set pieces that certainly are. Fun movie through and through…

Plus there is a chick fight… I wish the chick fight went on a little bit longer. The match-up is between the equally flawless…

Paula Patton (on the left) and Lea Seydoux (on the right)…

As for the rest of the cast… Simon Pegg is funny, Jeremy Renner doesn’t do anything more than Jonathan Rhys Meyers did in the third and Tom Cruise is the fucking man.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – my first criticism is that her dragon tattoo was wildly forgettable. I did not read the book(s), but I did see the original TGWTDT with Noomi and her dragon tattoo was almost a secondary character it was so big. As far as the movies themselves… they’re pretty identical in most regards. There is a plenty of murder and rape and more murder rape to go around and neither film sugar coats it. The rape scenes are by and large pretty identical to each other. I thought Noomi did a great great job as Lisbeth and I think Rooney did as well. I’m not sure of size and weight and so forth, but Noomi does appear slightly bigger than Rooney did, which made Noomi’s Lisbeth seem a little older and a little stronger/aggressive. I think Rooney did appear younger, but became more aggressive and stronger as the movie went on, but always young. Both are great though.

As far as Mr. Craig, going into the film everyone was saying he gave a “wooden” performance and was the shortcomings of the movie. Two things – 1. Mr. Craig is kind of a “wooden” actor to begin with and 2. he isn’t bad in the movie at all. I’m not sure what they want out of Daniel in this movie, but “wooden” isn’t that bad considering he’s supposed to be an investigator trying to solve murder rapes. I don’t think you want Hugh Jackman running around grunting and doing jumping toe taps in that sort of movie. The only thing I didn’t like about Craig is that he is just generally too attractive for the role. It is a no brainer that these chicks can’t keep their pants on around him. Now, that works in some ways, but doesn’t work in other. I have a hard time believing a man who is usually knee deep in poon is also spending his waking hours investigating murder rapes. Meanwhile, in the original, the guy looked more like an journalist, but less like a guy Noomi would want to get her rocks off with although in the original they did try to pass it off more that Noomi was kind of sleeping with the dude because she is a sexual creature who sleep with whoever she feels like sleeping with at any given moment. Rooney more or less falls in love with Daniel Craig and I can see that happening as Craig is James Bond and for the most part still has the James Bond build in this movie.

The two movies are different in how they end. David Fincher’s version of the movie delves more into the book or at least later into the book. The original kind of ends when they murder rapes end. Either way, they’re both generally about the same thing and handled fairly similarly. I don’t know which I like better, but I think the differences in the movie experience are fairly negligible.

Well… there is one thing that is sooooo much better in the Fincher version and that is the opening credits. The fucking opening credits are amazing and easily worth the price of admission. It is a James Bond meets Nine Inch Nails music video intro that is excellent.

I also finally watched I Saw the Devil, which is a South Korean murder/thriller from earlier this year. It’s a good movie and an interesting one as a serial killer who killed a cop’s wife becomes hunted and toyed with by the cop as if he was a serial killer himself. It was a good movie filled with a lot of stereotypical Korean style – symphony music, dismemberment – and good performances. I was surprised that it wasn’t as scary or disturbing as I was expecting it to be, which made me hesitate in watching it. This lead to an almost disappointed feeling that I wasn’t as scared or disturbed, which was scary and disturbing. Either way, I saw it and it is pretty good.

My total is now 62 movies for 2011.

How was your holiday weekend?


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