KSWI’s ASH WEDNESDAY IS BRINGING SEXY BACK

February 22, 2012

Happy Wednesday!

Happy Ash Wednesday!

On this Hump Day, many will flock early in the morn to of church of some sort and have someone most likely dressed in flowing robes rub a black gritty paste on their forehead, right in the middle of it, in a + shape. That may sound silly, and it is. That may even look silly, and it does. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be one thing and one thing overall – SEXY! AM I FUCKING RIZZIGHT?!

Just because it’s silly doesn’t mean it can’t be something you want to have sex with or receive sex from. You got me? I’ve been reading on Twitter and I even posted something about this yesterday how you get to see your co-workers walking around with a smudge on their forehead and that’s hilarious, but when it comes down to it – if that special co-worker, that really special one that you want to bump your wet sex organs with in the copy room or even the one that you don’t necessarily “want to”, but would if given the chance because why the eff not, work is so boring and a hump or 12 on hump day would really spice up this boring week, came to work with the ashes on the forehead you would still do them. If you wouldn’t still do them in the Biblical sense then you need to be a lot more open-minded about religion. You are a religionist. That’s right, I said it.

To prove this, I went around the internet today and found some actual pictures – ones that I did not just save and then use mac’s shitty paint program to eff with – of some hot chicas who are out there today rocking their ashes and making it look sexy.

Of course, Kristen Stewart still wants IT with ashes on forehead. Of-fucking-course. She wanted those damn ashes. WANTED THEM! And wants IT with them.

Kristen Stewart even went parading around town to show off how sexy Ash Wednesday can be and a bunch of other hot celebs got in on the action as well.

Kelly Brook getting sexy with her ashes… and boobs.

Dita Von Teese showed off some pin-up model ash sexiness.

Kim Kardashian is rocking her ashes and a bikini. I don’t even know which she is rocking sexier!

Kate Upton wasn’t leaving the house and instead just lounged around with her sexy ashes and comically sized lollipop as her yearly Ash Wednesday ritual.

These three chicks just hanging out in their underwear and some ashes. Possibly foregoing breakfast to get those ashes. Possibly breakfast, the dinner before, maybe for the past 30 days. Lent should be pretty easy for these ladies. Nevertheless, sexy Ash Wednesday!

Some ladies were so proud of their ashes that they got them TWICE!

Christina Hendricks got the stereotypical ash on her forehead and then another one right over her enormous … heart. The heart. That ash is there for her heart. It just so happens her heart is in roughly the same place as her GIGANTIC BOOBIES! WOOOO!!! THOSE THINGS ARE AMAZING!!! PRAISE THE LORD!

But it wasn’t just Christina who got double ash crazy…

Coco! Seriously, if you wouldn’t bless that behind then you are not familiar with miracles because that booty is an act of GOD! The Lord Almighty allows that booty to exist. Divine creations, indeed. I’m feeling closer to God just looking at this. Don’t you?

And, of course, we have to end with one more…

Kristen Stewart wanting IT and Jimmy Kimmel may or may not be doing a Mr. Magoo impersonation. Who is to say?

So… hopefully this has changed your ENTIRE opinion on Ash Wednesday for I guess the better.

I feel like we did the Lord’s work today.

You’re welcome.

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2 Responses to “KSWI’s ASH WEDNESDAY IS BRINGING SEXY BACK”

  1. You’re a crazy person.

    Coco just had an ultrasound done of her butt on some show “The Dr’s” to prove that it’s real. AMERICA!!!

  2. Nix said

    You’re so weird.

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