Every day and every night I want to see you and be with you. Yet I have no feeling of selfish ownership or jealousy.

March 12, 2012

Happy Monday to all my Irish gypsies reading this.

Do you know where the title of this post came from?

They’re not a lyric from a pop song in Drive. They’re not uttered into a cool night from a window ledge by a vampire who masquerades as a teenager to nail teenagers in Twilight. It’s no Billy Shakespeare or any of the like.

It’s actually from good ole’ “Tricky Dick” Richard Nixon. … yep. Apparently, the man wrote some love letters to his “Irish Gypsy” Patricia Ryan a community theater actress who he acted with once long ago and then became his wife after he proposed to her delivered her engagement ring in a small basket overflowing with mayflowers. Crazy, right?

So for you hetero ladies out there and you homo dudes out there… imagine this guy:

is writing you this…

Let’s go for a long ride Sunday; let’s go to the mountains weekends; let’s read books in front of fires; most of all, let’s really grow together and find the happiness we know is ours.

Did you just get wet in the panties and/or boxer briefs about Richard Nixon?

Also, he does grow up to become the fucking PRESIDENT! So, that’s pretty cool too.

Just saying…

Anyway!

HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND?!

What did you do? Did you play with a Frisbee? Is Frisbee the nickname for your lover’s “parts”? It’s not a particularly sexy nickname, but it would be funny.

I did a few things this weekend, but there are reallythree things that I would like to mention in particular:

1.Harpoon Cider

There is my sexy temptress! I want to write love letters to Harpoon Brewery and in particular to this damn Cider. Oh my God is it good. If you have a liquor store around where you are reading this, I fully suggest just abandoning everything you are doing and go get some of this stuff. Then get back to whatever you are doing while drinking said cider. First off, Harpoon’s cider has one ingredient “fermented apple juice”. THAT’S IT! You would think that’s a no brainer, but take a look at the ingredients on other ciders and it will look like a Frankenstein’s monster recipe. Harpoon just smashes up some apples, throws some yeast on that bitch to make it ferment and then boom – cider. It’s also a pretty decent 4.8% alcohol magicness percentage.

I’ve never been a fan of ciders. I’ve drank the Woodchuck and the Strongbow and some others, but have never been too into whatever one I’m drinking. They all taste heavily manufactured. They taste one step above what I imagine a Mike’s Hard Lemonade or such would taste like. But this cider, actually tastes the way cider is supposed to taste – BOOZY APPLE JUICE! It tastes like a refreshing glass of fruit juice with an edge to it to keep honest. I love it. I’ve never gone out of my way to drink cider, but I will time and time again with this cider.

This is all especially meaningful to those of you North of the Equator who are heading into those Spring and soon enough Summer months with the warmness of the weather. I cannot imagine too many better things than being outside with a glass of ice filled to the brim with this cider and looking at all these Irish gypsies running around in Sun dresses.

2. WANDERLUST

Not bad, not fucking bad at all.

The easiest way to explain it, the movie is funnier than the previews give it credit for. It’s as simple as that. It’s not a comedy you’ll remember for the rest of your life or make sure to pre-order to buy on blu-ray, but it’s still funny and enjoyable. The trailers really don’t show any of the best jokes in the movie, which is probably because most of those jokes are probably too filthy for a TV promo, but who knows nowadays with these crazy kids. It’s a funny flick and there isn’t much in the theaters to go see right now, so try and track down Wanderlust.

A few things to mention about the people in the movie…

PAUL RUDD – I thought people loved Paul Rudd. In back to back movies, no one has seen or cared about Paul Rudd. Our Idiot Brother was one of the better movies by far last year and also was a 100x better than the commercials made it out to be. Now, part deux is no one seeing this movie and the trailers making it look like shit. I don’t know why, but someone is trying to fuck over Paul Rudd and everyone is letting it happen. So, go support Paul Rudd. Very talented man. Also, people really didn’t give Role Models a shot either and that movie is literally laugh your balls off funny. You have to watch out for your balls when seeing that movie.

JOE LO TRUGLIO – If you saw a picture of him you would go “I’ve seen that guy before in something” and then it would be a big revelation that his name is Joe Lo Truglio, but 10 minutes later you would forget it like you have Alzheimer’s – not your fault, it’s a disease. Anyway, in the movie he plays a nudist. Also, in the movie he plays a nudist with a big dong. While watching the movie, I was thinking “Joe Lo Truglio has a big dong”. Then I get home to IMDB and I find out it was a prosthetic. BULLSHIT HOLLYWOOD! FUCKING LIES!

MALIN AKERMAN – I was severely disappointed that Malin Akerman didn’t take her top off in this movie like she does in most movies. Just one boobie. Just one?

3. THE WALKING DEAD

I don’t want to ruin any of what happened last night for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet and is planning on watching it soon enough. So this will not be filled with spoilers. The only thing I will say about the thing you don’t want to have spoiled for you – it’s been a long time coming.

What I did want to talk about was that for a minute right in the beginning – this isn’t a “spoiler” it’s just a 15 second scene before the opening credits that doesn’t play into the rest of the episode in the least bit -The Walking Dead crew did what they should have been doing since the beginning: zombie hunter’s party.

The scene shows Shane, Darrell, Andrea, and T-Dawg (who I thought was T-Bone) in a pick-up truck driving around looking for zombies to kill. They come across a pack of 7 or 8 of them and they ride up on the pack and get out of the truck. Equipped with shovels, hammers, pitchfork, and crossbow – they kill the zombies pretty quickly and then get back into the truck.

YES!

YOU SHOULD’VE BEEN DOING THIS FROM THE FUCKING BEGINNING!

Once they got to this farm in season 2 and Carl wasn’t going to die anymore, they should have been out there every day making sweeps of the area killing all zombies in sight. They could’ve searched for Sophia as well, but making your team a marauding zombie killing gang. Stop waiting for the zombies to come to you and go get those zombies. Even Herschel is past the point of any moral dilemma in killing zombies, THEY’RE FUCKING ZOMBIES! KILL THEM ALL! Also, put a fucking leash on your damn kid. There is no worse mother on television right now than Lori. She never knows where her son is and frankly does not seem to care. She also leads other men on and is a bitch to every woman. I hate Lori.

Anyway…

I love you?

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3 Responses to “Every day and every night I want to see you and be with you. Yet I have no feeling of selfish ownership or jealousy.”

  1. PWG said

    Forget Katy Perry and Zooey Deshanel, I can’t tell Malin Akerman and Olivia Wilde apart. Luckily most of the time one is blonde and the other is brunette, but sometimes they both go dirty blonde and then I get confused.

    Tricky Dick’s got some tall Lyle Lovett diagonal hairline lookin’ hair up there. With random tendril. Also, he’s kind of got a Ted Bundy intensity to the stare going on. All in all I’m a little frightened of 1800’s Dick Nixon.

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