What The FUCK Are We Listening To?: LMFAO Edition

March 21, 2012

Happy Wednesday! Happy Hump day!

In honor of the weekly scheduled day for inter and intra planetary humping, I will be anal-lyzing the lyrics for the popular party rocking jam “Sexy and I Know It” from the uber group LMFAO. Also, this was requested in the comments section for me to do this. I do take requests. Or try to. Or plan on taking them all then I forget some of them. I mean shit happens in this wild and crazy world of drinking cinnamon whiskey and watching Archer reruns. But today(!), I will honor said request. And, feel free in placing other requests either in the comments section, email – jordankswi@gmail.com, twitter – @jordan_is_ok, smoke signals – long, short, long, short, long, short, long, long, long, immediately put that fire out so you don’t hurt yourself, or call me. I mean if you do call me and place a request, I will almost 100% do said request because I’ll be in complete fear or your stalking abilities. I may have to purchase a gun because I can’t tell the police I’ve been running a Kristen Stewart blog for the past few years without them arresting me and putting me on several lists. Anyway… LMFAO!

These are the two DJ geniuses who are LMFAO. Seems about right.

On the left is SkyBlu who is 25 and the nephew of on the right Redfoo who is 36. If you listened to any music performed in the 20th century by an artist of the Afro-American persuasion then you have Berry Gordy to thank for that. Besides being the founder of Motown records, Gordy is the father of Redfoo and the grandfather of SkyBlu. Which of his accomplishments was greater will require an additional post.

First and foremost, let me say I have not met LMFAO. I know there are rumors that I have and that I have influenced them slightly in my own way, but those rumors have been exaggerated. I did ride past their bus once, which isn’t even worth mentioning, but I just did. But from a purely sociological outsider perspective: I think Redfoo does all the work.

The former Wall Street day trader and currently party rocking his way through his dirty 30’s seems to be doing all the heavy lifting in this group as far as musically. Redfoo produces every track, does most of the rapping, and if there is a focus in their music videos – especially this one – it is on Redfoo. This leads me to assume that SkyBlu is doing the heavy lifting when it comes to the actual physical party rocking out there in the world at the clubs. Redfoo is the leader in the studio, but SkyBlu is the one bumping coke and drinking Patrone until it is coming out of his ears while Redfoo is eating a baby spinach salad with a side plate of grilled chicken with a cranberry juice to wash it all down. Young blood can handle the actual partying and rapidly approaching 40 can handle the studio beats and crafting these genius lyrics. Anyway… that’s my guess.

Let’s get to these lyrics!

Yeah, yeah

In the last article like this, I said hip hop culture gave us a cursory knowledge of zip codes. It has also given us a true appreciation of arbitrary “yeah”s. Just throw “yeah” out there whenever and how-many-ever. You’re into what’s about to happen. I mean you wrote it, so you know it is going to be good. Be positive about it. Yeah, this is a good beat. Yeah, these are some good lyrics. Yeah, I’m fixing to write some great jokes. Yeah, yeah.

When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly
I pimp to the beat, walking on the street in my new lafreak, yeah
This is how I roll, animal print, pants outta control,
It’s Redfoo with the big ass fro
And like Bruce Leroy I got the glow

I can relate on all levels here. You know a song is good when it speaks to your own daily life. When I walk on by, I always think girls are talking about how fly I am. You know that scene in every superhero movie where the hero gains the ability of super hearing and they can hear everything so loud and so much of it it drops them to their knees and they’re like ENOUGH! That’s kind of what it’s like for me to walk around in public. He’s so sexy, I think guys who look like they blew out their knee playing offensive line in high school or college, but never got the weight off look super sexy. I just want to ride his red beard to the gates of Hell. It’s stuff like that I hear.

I don’t wear as much animal print as I should, but I do have a penchant for wearing Spirit Hoods. As for my pants, they’re totally in control. We differ on our pants, but I’m thinking that might need to change. My pants are a dictatorship at this point. I have zero say in the control. And I can have a fro, every morning when I wake up in the Summer – Jew Fro.

Lastly, I love the Bruce Leroy reference so fucking much. Besides The Last Dragon being one of my favorite and most watched movies in my life, it’s full title is Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon. !!!!!! That’s fucking right! That Berry Gordy! Redfoo’s dad produced The Last Dragon. SkyBlu’s grand-dad produced Bruce Leroy, ShoNuff, and the Glow! So, that actually might be Berry Gordy’s greatest accomplishment – The Last Dragon.

Ah… Girl look at that body [x3]
Ah… I work out
Ah… Girl look at that body [x3]
Ah… I work out

This is a big hot button issue in America – working out. I think “Sexy and I Know It” should be First Lady Michelle Obama’s campaign song. Speaking of Michelle, I wish that the women of this Presidential election had a showdown because Michelle would eat those other chicks for breakfast. Mitt Romney’s wife doesn’t know if she’s wealthy or not? Bitch please. Michelle’s planting gardens on the White House lawn, she’s talking to Letterman, she’s having push-up contests with Fallon, she’s bowling with the VEEP Joe Biden and Giants’ wide receiver “Miracle Worker” Victor Cruz. Get the fuck out of her way!

When I walk in the spot (yeah), this is what I see (ok)
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got a passion in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it

This is called “bad advice/good advice”.

You definitely need “a passion in [your] pants” because if you don’t then you’re A-sexual. I don’t think you should be A-sexual. Heterosexual? Yes. Homosexual? Yes. Bi-Sexual? Yes. Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, and Ashley Benson smooching on each other in bikinis behind-the-scenes of the movie Spring Breakers and recorded on an HD handi-cam and hopefully posted to the internet for everyone to see? YES! … but A-sexual? C’mon! Pick a team, any team, and start swinging for the fences!

Now, you shouldn’t be “afraid” to show it, but you should be a little timid about it. There’s a time and a place for whipping out that pu… or that co… you know?

I’m sexy and I know it [x2]

That’s the type of positivism we need. People being comfortable in their own skin. Feeling sexy. Knowing it. Possibly showing it. If you want to see it, of course.

At the same time, there is an ultra thin line between sexy and creepy and that kind of depends on who you are doing it to. Other people’s trash is other people’s treasures, right?

Yeah

Yeah? Yeah!

When I’m at the mall, security just can’t fight them off
And when I’m at the beach, I’m in a Speedo trying to tan my cheeks (what)
This is how I roll, come on ladies it’s time to go
We headed to the bar, baby don’t be nervous
No shoes, no shirt, and I still get serviced (watch)

That’s an odd sequitor from girls chasing Redfoo around the mall so much so the rent-a-cops are in a full contact gang war with these horny females to Redfoo browning his buns on the beach. Right? I guess that depends if one is the cause of the other. Are Redfoo’s tan butt cheeks so sexy that women will fight in a mall for them? Is he wearing Speedo’s or assless pants (outta control pants, remember?) in the mall, so the women can see the prize that is his cafe latte glutes? Or do women have a sixth sense about how colorful men’s asses are and that just drives them wild? I feel like I’m learning a lot about women today, and at the same time learning absolutely nothing.

Are the girls nervous about going to the bar with Redfoo and/or SkyBlu because of what those guys get into at the bar or are they simply nervous about the service because these guys are half-naked? A bar would have to be crazy not to service Redfood and/or SkyBlu regardless of the clothes or lack of clothes they currently have when ordering drinks. These guys are famous! If I owned a bar – most likely would call it “The Surly Nun” – and Tony Shaloub from Monk and Wings fame came in dick out naked and in the darkest K-hole – I’d serve him two drinks for every one drink he ordered. Let alone, the most famous pop dance hip hop dj group.

But if I was a chick, I would be a tad worried about what happens at the bar with Redfoo and SkyBlu – it’s shots. You better be ready to do shots and if you have heard the song “shots” then they’re expecting you to do shot and then to suck their co… hmmm… I’m not going to a bar with LMFAO. I am not that kind of fictional woman. I do not give public blowjobs. Judge me all you want.

Ah… Girl look at that body [x3]
Ah… I work out
Ah… Girl look at that body [x3]
I work out

For a song about working out, there is not much working out talked about. I guess one could say that all this dancing that Redfoo and SkyBlu do could be considered a few hundred zumba classes. Also, they say sex is a good workout, but I don’t know how good of a workout. I mean you can get sweaty and get your heart racing – you can also do that raking leaves or masturbating in a sweatshirt and high socks – but how many calories or new muscles are you creating. I’m pretty sure the elliptical beats out sex as a workout each and every time. It’s not as fun, obviously. Unless, you have sex with the elliptical. That could be a really good workout. Ellipticals are heavy. I’ve had to move a few of those in my time and that is quite a workout. So, have sex with an elliptical?

When I walk in the spot (yeah), this is what I see (ok)
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it

I’m sexy and I know it [x2]

I’m sexy and I know it…

I think we covered this all before. Choose your target, try to gather some possible interest from that target, then whip it out. That’s my suggestion.

For you straight guys – she’s cute, oh your favorite band is Modest Mouse – I like them too, you love North by Northwest as well, that was some great thai food… then BAM! show her your di…

For you straight girls – he’s cute, would I have sex with him? – if no then move on, if yes… then BAM! show him your ti…

For you gay guys – he’s cute… then BAM! show him your di…

For you gay girls – she’s cu… KISS AND GET NAKED WITH HER ALREADY!!!!!

For you bi-sexuals – I assume you could just not wear pants and it is really just first come first serve.

Check it out [x2]
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah [x3]
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah, yeah
Do the wiggle man
I do the wiggle man
Yeah
I’m sexy and I know it

That’s all pretty self-explanatory. This is the theme song to showing that passion in your pants. Whether man or woman, just show it and wiggle it and the entire time you should be saying to yourself “I’m sexy and I know it” and if the person doesn’t take the bait then it’s their fucking loss. We’re just a bunch of shaved humping apes who can talk, poop in toilets, and text.

Ah… Girl look at that body [x3]
Ah… I work out
Ah… Girl look at that body [x3]
Ah… I work out

I’ll have to take your word for it that you work out because from what I can gather “working out” should be defined for you as getting drunk and sexually harassing people until you find someone who likes it. And to that, I say Godspeed!

Yeah I’m sexy and I know it!

Yes, you fucking are.

Happy Hump Day!

3 Responses to “What The FUCK Are We Listening To?: LMFAO Edition”

  1. PWG said

    I know you did a lot of work here, but I feel cheated because you didn’t break down the video. I’ve never heard this song because I’m old and out of touch, and no drive time radio station anywhere actually plays music anymore. It’s all commercial – commercial – irritating DJ – commercial. And I haven’t been clubbing since, let’s see, that would have to have been in a past life. Given how old I am, any past life I might have lived would involve clubbing at the USO Dance Hall with the Andrews Sisters.

    But now that I’ve seen the video, I love it. Was that Ron Jeremy? Can you just rent him out for whatever project you’re working on?.

  2. nixhaw said

    I am officially your international anything. Do with me what you will.

    Also, I would totally go to the The Surly Nun.

    • PWG said

      Or The Snuggly Duckling. “Really let that seep in. What are you getting? Because to me, that’s part man-smell, and the other part is really bad man-smell. I don’t know why, but overall it just smells like the color brown. Your thoughts?”

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