HBO’s Game of Thrones: The Drinking Game – Season 2

March 28, 2012

Happy Wednesday!

Happy Hump Day! For all the would-be humpers or possible humpers or people I want to hump, let me give a quick shoutout to the website . Let’s just say, I spent an inexplicable amount of time yesterday looking through I think every photo they have taken. Wow. I first saw their work on the and wrongly thought the credit should go to Esquire. I saw there were a number of photo galleries with celebrities like Ari Gaynor (blonde sidekick in several rom coms), Kristina Bowden (ditsy secretary on 30 Rock), and, most recently, Krysten Ritter (chick from the commercials of Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23 and/or the girl who dies in Breaking Bad). I loved the photos. It was them in an apartment or house just lounging around sexily in underwear, a sheer t-shirt and underwear, tank-top/no bra/thong – all the classics. But yesterday I finally noticed that Esquire didn’t shoot those pictures, but the website Me In My Place did and they do them for Esquire. I zip over to MiMP and I am met with a vast ocean of similar style pictures, but with just as breathtaking unknown chicks from seemingly the streets of New York City.

Seriously, in this world of magazine photographers’ over indulgence of run-of-the-mill celebrities dressed in corsets, Marilyn Manson make-up, set against a backdrop of either a strip club from Tron or an abandoned castle operated by tigers – it is crazy refreshing to simply see a picture of a girl looking hot and sitting on her couch in the daylight. The website is kind of like the Suicide Girls if they weren’t so “suicidal” were more into watching Netflix and taking 6 hours to watch The Artist because you’re too busy humping every 20 minutes. Sounds like heaven.

Anyway… let’s talk aboutGame of Thrones and their fantasy of dragons, zombies, and whatever else George R.R. Martin has in store for us in Season 2.



It was only a week ago that we said goodbye to Rick, his shitty wife Lori, their worst son in the world Carl, and the gang of the slowest moving zombie apocalypse survivors ever from The Walking Dead. Now! This weekend! We get to fall in the loving embrace of the drunk foulmouthed dwarf Tyrion, the biggest douche in TV history Joffrey, those rascally Stark children, everyone’s favorite dragonblooded nympho Daenerys, and multiple countries worth of people who have absolutely no care in the world that ‘winter is coming’ or with that ‘winter’ comes seemingly with an undefeatable magical white zombie army that will kill everyone. YES! Oh thank you, Lord, for this television!

Last season of GoT, I did a drinking game based off the first few episodes I had seen. I think the drinking game was crazy appropriate considering I never read a page of the books or ventured to the wikipedia or anything. Here is the original list:

Take a shot/drink:

– if someone is killed within the episode they have first appeared in

– if someone is having doggystyle sex

– if incest is happening on your TV

– if a chick is nude

– if you think to yourself “I want a dire wolf”

– if you think to yourself “That dude has great hair”

– if they announce another clan’s house that you have never heard of

– if a character’s name you have forgot appears on screen, but you know everything else about them – just not their name

– if the Dothraki (the muscular tan horse warrior barbarian guys) do something that makes you think they’re ripping off the Klingons from Star Trek

– if the word “bastard” is spoken

– If you laugh when someone refers to Sean Bean’s character as “Ned”

– if someone brandishes a sword, but never uses it

– if they mention “the winter”

– if you think someone is speaking in a British accent, but they’re not

– if there is dragon talk

Seriously?! This is still crazy applicable for everything that will happen in the second season … except for the one specific to Sean Bean because he’s fucking dead. Should I say “spoilers” even though that was mentioned on the internet a gazillion times over in the past year, it would be like saying “spoilers” Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s dad. I still stand by this drinking game and if you do use it, you’ll probably die because a lot of that stuff happens time and time again throughout the books.

Since the first season, I have read the 5 FIVE FIVE books of this book series and would like to present a few additional drinking game notes. This second season should be focused on the second book A Clash of Kings just mentioning for the hell of it.

– if magic happens, but you’re hoping they explain it with science

– if you root for the direwolves more than the people

– if you think being in the Night’s Watch might not be so bad considering all they eat are “rashers of bacon”

– if Dany reminds you of the sexiest Moses

– if you catch yourself yelling at the TV about how much you hate Joffrey

– if you want more Roose Bolton

– if you want more Davos

– if Jorah acts or tells a story where he puts the pussy on a pedestal

– if you wonder if everyone is fucking stupid for not being able to tell a girl from a boy

– if you wish the show was completely about Tyrion

– if you think to yourself “damn this is one long ass Fall”

– if you mumble to yourself, “just fucking show everyone the fucking dragons and game over – check mate”

Those are my newest additions…

I think this season will be even better than last season simply because the second book is better than the first in my opinion. I’m expecting to really love the new additions to the cast like the mentioned Davos and I’m expecting to put my foot through my TV over how angry Joffrey makes me. JUST FUCKING KILL THAT KID ALREADY!

I will be watching Mad Men on Sundays, but to fill that fantasy violence void – Game of Thrones, thank you.

4 Responses to “HBO’s Game of Thrones: The Drinking Game – Season 2”

  1. PWG said

    Fucking non-free HBO. I only watched the first episode of the first season but now I need to Netflix that shit and catch up. I’m always going to be a season behind. I read the books, so I don’t care about spoilers. I did see that Sean Bean was so popular that they gave some thought to bringing Ned back somehow. I assume George R. R. R. R. R. R. (pirate?) Martin quashed that idea. Zombie Ned.

    I love Tyrion. His dad is such a dickhead. Your drinking game is ridiculous, unless you’re trying to kill someone. Any three of those up there would send you into a coma. I’m not even watching the show and I think, “I want a direwolf ” multiple times daily.

    • kristenstewartwantsit said

      With all the absurd amounts of needless backstory on trivial characters, I’m sure they could have powered through some flashbacks of Ned that would have seemed meaningful. Or … they could just solve the riddle of who is Jon Snow’s mother by doing a series of prequels to answer the unanswerable questions from these millions of pages of books. Seriously, though, if Jon Snow turns out to be Azur Asai or whatever and is the long lost son of the Dragon Prince and Ned’s trampy dead sister – I’m going to be furious! I read that on the internet that’s what people think and that pisses me off to no end.

      This is what I want… Jon Snow riding a dragon, Dany riding a dragon, Bran controlling the third dragon with his mind. Arya running a shadow army of assassins. Rickon running an army of wild people from North of the Wall. I don’t even know about the rest. There are absolutely too many characters at this point. I mean there’s the other guy with the damn dragon horn and so forth. And Tyrion? I feel like he should be Moses and bring the dragons back to the main continent, but die before their army and taking everything back gets realized.

      Also, you’re my only friend – PWG.

      • PWG said

        Son of a goddamned toad-fucking shithead whore. I just spent at least 15 minutes typing a comment full of winsome camaraderie and solace and WordPress ate it. Just ate it because I wasn’t properly logged in. I don’t even remember what I said, other than I miss the regular commenters. Fuck. I don’t know what my WordPress password is.

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