This Week In Kristen Stewart Wants IT #420

April 20, 2012

Happy Friday!

Happy 4/20!

With it being the infamous weed holiday, I am legally required to post two pictures…

No, mom! I just love plants. I’m like a horticulturist like a whore for plants or whatever that means. Leave me alone!

And…

Nope, no one is watching. Not a single person minus the paparazzi sitting in a Toyota Tercel down the street taking pictures of everything you do.

Anyway…

Today is Friday, so what have we learned at the end of this working week?

People don’t like me talking about science fiction weapons that may or may not be applicable for home life…

People don’t like me talking about Girls and/or incest…

Whatever, weirdos!

What is there to talk about? I suppose movies…

I read that Catching Fire may have a new director in Francis Lawrence. Most of you will remember Francis from his directing of Water for Elephants and/or I Am Legend. I didn’t see the former and I didn’t like the latter, but I still like Francis Lawrence. Why? Francis’ directorial debut was Constantine, which I like quite a lot. Yes, the Keanu Reeves movie. I actually like Keanu a lot and think he can be very good. Keanu’s got a great look specifically. He’s good looking, but more so he kind of looks like someone who you would draw. He has a very comic book character esque look about him naturally. Also, he brings what most action stars should bring which is physicality and a seriousness to the action – at the same time the dude is obviously a fucking weirdo, which makes him that much better. Anyway, I like Constantine a lot and mostly because of Lawrence’s highly engaging visual style. So, I’m always assuming that Lawrence can make another good movie. I Am Legend was plagued by many problems including that it wasn’t really an adaptation of the original story, but a remake of Omega Man. Either way, no one can argue that Lawrence doesn’t make pretty movies and that’s half the battle. If the producers and studio can keep a safe distance (which they won’t) then I think Lawrence can make a fine adaptation. Also, noteworthy – that’s all Lawrence really does anyway – Water for Elephants, I Am Legend, Constantine are all adaptations.

I read that Martin Scorsese is adapting the play or novel or whatever of The Wolf of Wall Street and shocking shocking shocking Leo DiCaprio will be said “wolf”. The story is the “original” tale of a guy making a ton of dough on Wall Street and then doing drugs and alcohol and having a downward spiral. Isn’t that every damn movie about Wall Street including Wall Street? I hate Martin Scorsese. Honestly, I just don’t get his appeal. I have never watched a single one of his movies and been like I need to watch this again ever… and I have never watched a single one of his movies and thought, “yeah, I can see why I was supposed to watch this”. From Mean Streets to Cape Fear to The Departed. I do not get it. I’ve watched so many of his movies and it is beyond reason that one of them should’ve really left an impact on me. Goodfellas? It’s not a bad movie, but just in terms of gangster movies – I could name dozens of gangster movies before I would even think of Goodfellas. I’ve watched Casino a few times and each time I see it the more it is a caricature of itself. Taxi Driver has its moments, but ultimately has a cop out ending and has absolutely no point. I’ve never watched King of Comedy. I bought it on DVD years ago and never sat down and watched it. I’ve seen Last Temptation, Age of Innocence, Bringing Out the Dead, Gangs of New York, Kundun, Raging Bull, and so on. I just don’t fucking like them.

I will say thatThe Last Waltzis great. Although, seriously, it’s a documentary about The Band and if you like The Band then how could he fuck that up for you. I did see Levon Helm died this week, sad obviously.

The Avengers looks no better to me now than it did when it was first announced. There are I believe 7 clips or so online from the movie as well as a ton of TV spots and trailers. I would guess a good 10 – 15 minutes of the movie is online. And it appears to be 10 – 15 minutes of the movie throughout the movie. I’m still seeing it because why not? Seriously, it can’t be worse than some of the other shit I’ve seen and as mentioned with my movie obsession, I can’t stop myself from seeing it. I’m definitely going to see it almost to see how bad it is to me. I bet people will love it though. People loved Thor and people loved Iron Man and I didn’t, but people did and this movie looks exactly like those movies … plus Transformers 3.

I did/do have an idea for a Justice League movie. In the movie, Superman has already been kidnapped. He’s being held captive in a blacked out strong hold and the Justice League don’t know where he is. The movie is about the bad guys trying to defeat the Justice League by creating clones of them or maybe they are bizarro world versions of them or something. In the end, each member of the league has to defeat basically a clone of themselves in these epic one on one fights. Flash vs. Flash, Green Lantern vs. Green Lantern, Wonder Woman vs. Wonder Woman et cetera. The only one without a clone is Batman as the villains don’t think much of a man without any super powers. Obviously, he becomes the X factor that tilts the fights for the good guys to win as Batman helps the Justice League to use their strengths against their own weaknesses and getting the Green Lantern to defeat the Flash clone and Martian Manhunter’s clone to get smashed by Wonder Woman or whatever. Eventually, they save Superman just in time to defeat the Superman clone who is released on them.

I’m not saying my idea is better than The Avengers, but it wouldn’t have shitty bow skills from Jeremy Renner in it.

I rewatched Total Recall the other night. Such a weird, but good movie. Paul Verhoeven made RoboCop, Total Recall and Starship Troopers. All good/great sci-fi films. He also made Turkish Delight which features Rutger Hauer’s penis if I’m not mistaken. Those Dutch are odd people.

I’m not looking forward to the Total Recall remake at all.

I am getting so excited for Prometheus. Did you see the viral campaign featuring Michael Fassbender? Sooooo good.

I have a feeling that I’ve been having since I saw that first Prometheus trailer several months ago – all the characters will be more or less the characters from Alien. Obviously, Fassbender seems a ton like Ian Holm. But they all seem like the characters from the first. Not a bad thing because Alien is the best.

Anything else?

I’ve been listening to this song on repeat.

I bet it sounds great when you’re high.

Have a great weekend.

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