KSWI’s Millionth Hour And Counting… Kristen Stewart STILL Wants IT

April 30, 2012

Happy Monday!

I had a resplendent weekend. I chose the word resplendent because it was and because I read a bunch of Avengers reviews and most of them use that word in them. I will talk more of the Avengers tomorrow when I write the first part of my May movies breakdown. Spoiler – May movies look pretty terrible. Also spoiler – I thinkĀ Avengers looks pretty terrible… for me. For the people out there that enjoyed Thor or thought Iron Man was better than The Dark Knightthen you should love it. It looks like much of the same and with that I’ll dislike it. Hopefully, it surprises me, but I highly doubt it.

Anyway… resplendent. I did see The Five-Year Engagement on Saturday night. I thoroughly enjoyed that movie. Very funny and lots of heart. It’s in league withKnocked Upwith the mostly humor, but there is plenty of dramatic/they fucked up moments. Good movie. There are a ton of great comedians who either make cameos or play small roles in the movie that really add a ton of charm to the movie. I was iffy about the movie in the opening couple scenes because Alison Brie – who I do genuinely love like a person I know and has saved my life from an attacking bear – plays Emily Blunt’s sister which does mean that Alison Brie is doing an English accent in the movie. At first, I was unsure, but quickly that changed and actually the two of them – Blunt and Brie, sounds better than Rizzoli and Isles… am I right?! – have probably the best scene in the movie. And no it’s not them showering while giving each other a million tiny gently kisses. It’s actually a clever argument scene and whatever… if you see it, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Good movie. Go see it.

Over this same weekend, I saw that NEW NEW NEW NEW Kristen Stewart pictures hit the internet and I felt I should share them with you as part of my thesis that Kristen Stewart does want IT and she does and it’s shown for the BILLIONTH time in these pictures. So, who wants to Kristen Stewart wanting IT?

She wants IT.

Kristen Stewart wants IT. She wants IT so hard, I forgot that Garret Hedlund was even in these picture(s). There he is. Garret is in the middle of understanding the want. Right now, he is thoroughly blown away by the want and is wide eyed staring at the angelic legs of Kristen Stewart. They are so bright! They are a light source of their own. What is that light fueled by? WANT! They WANT! Kristen is also seemingly driving the car in this picture as Garret may or may not be working the pedals and is too busy staring at Kristen’s legs than the road. As for the road, no one is watching it. Kristen Stewart is looking at you, always you, and she’s wanting the fuck out of you. I would like to note that Kristen Stewart is wearing her seatbelt? Is that the seatbelt? I’m not sure. It could be a purse strap, but either way you need to have something on to protect you. I’m going out on a limb and saying that the car with the exposed driver’s panel does not have an airbag.

As we can clearly see here, Garrett Hedlund has suffered the effect of too much WANT. His eyes have become increasingly smaller and are barely visible for us to see or for him to see out of. This is one of the draw backs for seeing too much WANT too quickly. It’s devastating. Tiny eyes Hedlund.

Kristen Stewart? She wants IT.

Maybe I’m seeing things.

Maybe I am.

Maybe I’m wrong.

But maybe Garret Hedlund is positioning his own crotch and Kristen Stewart’s hand for meeting of the rub and tug variety. Maybe I’m the only one seeing that. Maybe someone shouldn’t show this picture to Rob.


Let me be clear, what she wants may or may not be to give Garret a handjob in front of this photography in this old jalopy, but that is not for me to decide. Kristen Stewart’s want is real that I can tell. For what is a mystery that I hope never know because I imagine the beauty of it would make me cry until my last days from knowing the truth.


You think I’m kidding around here? Look for yourself! It burns! It burns inside me how much she wants IT. Burns like acid reflux. She wants IT. She wants IT in that weird shirt and wool skirt on top of a tetanus ridden car and she wants IT.

It’s what she does! SHE. WANTS. IT.

In this picture, Garrett has begun to take matters into his own hands by self-medicating his want ailments with weed.

Also, if you’re wondering what that orange stripe is or any of these stripes are it’s not from the film development process. This is actually what happens when Kristen Stewart allows her vagina to see the light of day and want IT. It’s a natural color display phenomenon like aurora borealis.

In this final picture, one can clearly see that Garret Hedlund has died.

He has passed along from this plane of existence with his final moment being shared with a peek under Kristen Stewart’s skirt, which killed him for sure.

As for Kristen Stewart, she wants IT and is off looking for her next victim.

I have no idea what “Jalouse” magazine is, but I think they chose wisely with the date rapey HJ photo for the cover.

Well done.

How was your weekend?


One Response to “KSWI’s Millionth Hour And Counting… Kristen Stewart STILL Wants IT”

  1. Frenchies are weirdos. That stripe top/wool skirt picture makes me uncomfortable.

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