I’m Kicking Around Some Ideas In This Big Ole’ Brain Of Mine

June 14, 2012

Happy Day of Today! It’s the only day you should be happy for because it’s today!

I have what I believe are some quick thoughts on a variety of subjects, but you never know with me. I tend to ramble and rant and tend to dream up wild scenarios involving a lot of anthropomorphizing and usually a ninja or two or 8 – I mean who really knows how many ninjas are actually out there because they’re hiding. Either way, let’s try to tackle these subjects one at a time…

1. WRATH OF THE TITANS

Sucked.

And, no one should ever watch it ever. Forever. Never ever watch that.

2. THE THREE MUSKETEERS (2011)

Sucked.

And, no one should ever watch it ever. Forever. Never ever watch that.

Not to say that “The Three Musketeers” from 1993 or whenever that was from didn’t suck. In retrospect, that movie sucked. I saw it when it came out and thought it was good because I was 10, but even then it wasn’t my favorite. It was filled to the brim with competent actors, but it wasn’t “good”. It was more or less a pudgy “Young Guns” with fencing foil fights from fake French. On the other hand…

How hot was Rebecca De Mornay?

Good Lord. Rebecca is actually turning 53 this year and still looks good. Although, the last pictures I could find of her were from last year’s Red Riding Hood premiere, but she looked good there. Good for her.

Anyway, I’ve never read “The Three Musketeers” unless I did and I don’t remember it. All I do know about the book is that it is really “The Four Musketeers” because the whole book is about 4 dudes and not 3. But I get that he’s not an official Musketeer. What I do know is that in the movie recreations of the Musketeers – they all suck. There was another one called The Musketeer or something like that back in 2001 or so and that sucked. They all suck. This most recent one is not surprising how much it sucks because it is directed by one of the worst directors of all time Paul W.S. Anderson, but he gets work all the time. I’m going to look up his IMDB page right now and I’ll bet he is attached to at least 3 movies… hold on… Damn it! I was off by one! Thankfully this no talent hack from New Castle, England is attached to ONLY two movies and both are sequels to other terrible movies he’s made “Death Race” and “Resident Evil”. Horrible movies. I’d rather stick my face into a bucket of turds than see a second more of his “filmmaking”.

3. FLAG DAY

Today is the U.S. of A.’s Flag Day. Great, right?

If you want some cheap comedy gold, go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag_day and for a juvenile time remove all the “L”s from the many uses of “Flag” and it makes Flag Day seem not only WAY MORE INTERESTING, but at the same time oddly very progressive. Basically, we’re celebrating the first gay or gays or the creation of the first gay or something like that in whichever country, which actually sounds pretty good, but we’re calling them by a derogative, which is not so good. Either way, it’s funny.

There are a lot of Flag Days in June. I guess all the cool kids have Flag Days in June. Makes sense to me. Who doesn’t like looking at a few “Flags” in the Summer. They’re usually so bright and colorful and full of life and know all the best clubs to dance at.

4. THE DREAM TEAM

Even with crazy Christian Laettner, this is the greatest assembled team of men to take on any task set before them. Last night, there was a documentary on NBA TV about the 1992 US Men’s Olympic Basketball Team, and it was magnificent and made me a little emotional because of how glorious these men were/are.

Besides the aforementioned “college kid”, we’re talking about Patrick Ewing, “Magic” Johnson, David Robinson, Karl Malone, Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley, Chris Mullin, Clyde Drexler, John Stockton, and Scottie Pippen. The coach in the suit and coiffed hair was Chuck Daly.

If you like basketball or American propaganda or simply “greatness” then watch the documentary.

5. HEAT VS. THUNDER – GAME 2

Tonight is Game 2 of the Heat vs. Thunder NBA Finals series.

The first game was a tale of two halves and the second half is always more important. The Heat slapped around the Thunder in the first half and the Thunder burned the Heat in the second. By the end of the game, the Heat couldn’t buy a bucket and were getting left behind.

It was an interesting game with some great bball being played. The finals match-up is about the only thing the NBA or basketball fans could ask for with Lebron James vs. Kevin Durant in a match-up of the two best players in the league playing against each other. Game 1 was apparently the highest rated game in forever or at least a while or something. I was glad to read that because this series is about as good as it’s going to get as far as star wise and match-up wise. I mean anything could happen. OKC could just sweep or who knows, but it was an interesting first game and we’ll see about the rest.

6. ALIENS/ROBOTS VS. RELIGION

I saw Prometheus the other day and then immediately following I decided to watch Blade Runner. Aliens and robots and robots and aliens. Religion is not brought up at all in Blade Runner, but it is brought up a very little bit in Prometheus. I feel like there is a miss there and I’m not sure if any other movie has really done that.

Is there a movie or TV show or book or whatever where people explain religion to robots and/or aliens? I feel like there has to be. I feel like it would be interesting idea for an alien species to invade Earth and be completely confounded by religion and more or less defeated by it. Maybe our religious wars get passed onto them and send the aliens into different warring factions like our planet has. Maybe they are completely terrified by religion and leave our planet because we have this all powerful being that watches over us that created all of the universe. In many movies involving robots, the robots are fascinated by their creator, but what about their fascination with their creator’s creator? Right?! See where I went with that.

A lot of robot movies apply a lot of human qualities to the robots eventually. They get angry or get attached or grow jealous. Some experience fear. In many circumstances, when those feelings come up with humans those humans turn to religion. I think it would be interesting to see a robot turned onto religion in a movie or something. Wouldn’t they enjoy the systematic routine of worshiping by these insane and archaic rules? Right?! I think so.

So, if there is something like that out there minus this…

Then please let me know…

7. TOMORROW

Well, I’m not entirely sure if I’m going to post tomorrow. It’s my birthday tomorrow and that could mean I’m taking a day off from posting or it could mean I’m posting something quick or it could mean I’m going to sit here and ramble on about Miami Heat vs. OKC Thunder. Who knows?

If I don’t post tomorrow…

Have a great weekend filled with Eskimo kisses around your underpants region.

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3 Responses to “I’m Kicking Around Some Ideas In This Big Ole’ Brain Of Mine”

  1. Just thinking about how weird it would be if all a person really did was rub their nose on your genitals.

  2. Mrs. P said

    May you have an amazing birthday filled with Musketeers and Eskimos so you can come back and write about it!!

  3. nixhaw said

    Aw. I’m late. Neverthelesser I hope you had a fantasticorgasmic birthday!

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