FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY!

June 22, 2012

HAPPY FUCKING FRIDAY!

Today is a great day. It is a great day because today there are two things that I have waited to see happen and they’ve happened and I’ve been waiting for them to happen AND THEY’VE HAPPENED and OH GOD have I been waiting for them to happen and even though they’ve happened I just want to see them happen over and over and over again because it makes me fucking happy. FINALLY!

The first…

KRISTEN STEWART’S BOOBS!

http://egotastic.com/2012/06/kristen-stewart-topless-and-two-fisting-handy-in-on-the-road/

WOOOOOOOO!!!!!

It’s only for a split second, but it’s really better than nothing, which is exactly what we/I had before. Hopefully, this is not the end and only the beginning of so many boobs. Seriously, Michelle Williams gets naked in every movie and everyone loves her and thinks she has a Texas sized amount of integrity, so Kristen Stewart should also take her top off, bottoms off, keep jerking two guys off or whatever it takes. They’re fighting over there in where ever for our Freedom and part of that Freedom is for Kristen Stewart to take her clothes off all the time.

Can’t fucking wait for “On the Road”.

The second…

LEBRON JAMES IS A CHAMPION!

Yeah, I’m a fan of Lebron James and GO FUCK YOURSELF.

I never stopped being a fan of this guy. I remember watching high school senior Lebron James on ESPN. ON ESPN! They were interviewing some high school kid who was playing like a pro who was from Ohio and he ended up playing for the Cleveland Cavaliers. The city of Cleveland? I’ve never been there. The state of Ohio? No fond memories from me. But watching this kid play high school reminded of the same type of footage they showed of Kevin Garnett where he looked like a fucking man amongst boys. For whatever reason, when reporters would talk to Lebron they would only talk to him about how he was going to measure up to Michael Jordan.

MICHAEL JEFFREY JORDAN

The greatest basketball player of all time. Not a single doubt, MJ is the greatest basketball player of all time. They wouldn’t stop asking this kid about how he was going to stack up against Michael. I started to root for this kid. I wanted to see this kid be the guy that everyone was for some reason saying he was going to be. The kid was great in high school, but there are a lot of people who are great in high school. Even more so, there are a lot of people they say is going to be the next Michael Jordan and then FAILS MISERABLY. So, Lebron gets drafted by the absolutely horrendous Cleveland Cavaliers and in his first season, Lebron averages numbers that only Michael Jordan and Dr. J have averaged in their first season. FUCKING SOLD.

Lebron played for a garbage Cleveland Cavalier franchise for 7 years where he was the best player in the league and taking his team to the playoffs and took them to the finals and lost, but made this team competitive throughout the season and into the playoffs every year, which is something those Cleveland fans ate up like it was chocolate gold.

Then something happened… something that is so terrible… I don’t even know if I should write it down here in words… it’s akin to the holocaust… it’s akin to genocides in Africa… it’s akin to imaginary future where computers liquify human beings into batteries to keep their mechanical forms working toward global domination…

LEBRON JAMES SIGNED TO PLAY PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL WITH ANOTHER TEAM!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

THE HORROR!!!!!! THE HORROR!!!!!! THE HORROR!!!!!!

Oh… I forgot to mention the worst part…

HE DID IT ON TV!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Lebron goes to Miami and continues to be the best fucking player in the NBA. Goes to another finals. Loses. And then a year later goes to the finals AGAIN and wins. And during this playoff run to the finals and his first championship, he played arguably the greatest in any playoffs ever.

He plays basketball at the highest level and plays it at the highest level in all categories. He scores, he rebounds, he passes, and he’s the best defender on the team. Is he Michael Jordan? No. Not yet. Could he one day be? Who knows. But he’s the best option for it. He plays the game in the same way that Jordan did. He’s a force on both ends of the court and he is entertaining as Hell to watch. From tracking guys down and rejecting them from behind to him elevating above the competition for rim shaking dunks.

The guy is absolutely incredible at this sport and people are hung up on the biggest bullshit about him. Who the fuck cares? Unless you’re from Cleveland … then grow the fuck up. Still Cleveland, he gave you 7 years of excellent basketball – who else gave you that?

Either way, Kristen Stewart’s boobs and Lebron James winning a first of hopefully many more from both of them.

Have a great weekend.

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3 Responses to “FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY!”

  1. Philip said

    You must be my lost twin or something… I would go balls deep in Kristen in an instant too, and I’m sure there’ll be more of her to come 😉

    and oh yeah, LEBRON JAMES IS A CHAMPION BITCH, FUCK THE HATERS GO KILL YOURSELVES CLEVELAND SUICIDE WATCH ISN’T FAR AWAY U STUPID CUNTS

  2. cledbo said

    On a note more related to the last post about KStew’s disgusting level of wealth, here is a gif with which we may be able to take over the world:
    The Want, in crazy duck-face-girl style motion.

    You’re welcome

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