Woke Up This Morning To The Lord Trying To Drown Me

June 25, 2012

Happy Monday, I suppose.

Honestly, I woke up in what had to be a flash flood from Heaven. It was nuts. We did lose power momentarily. Not that I sleep with too many lights on, but I do have a ceiling fan that stopped as well as the air conditioning stopped. Outside sounded pretty similar to when the hurricane hit last August. I haven’t read any stories on the mess outside, but it was a fuck ton of rain. And wind, but mostly rain. Just a fuck ton of it.

My weekend?

Well, thank you for asking.

I went to Atlantic City, New Jersey to watch the UFC fights that were live on FX. The main event was a disaster, but the rest of the fighters were pretty good to great. There were some impressive performances and some interesting fights, but when the main event is bad it feels like the whole event is bad. As unwatchable as the main event was at points, it was really interesting to be apart of the change in support. The crowd was openly rooting for Clay Guida and booing Gray Maynard at the start of the fight. By the 4th round, the most hated man in the room was Clay Guida and the people’s champion was Gray Maynard. It was an interesting fight in that regard.

The fights were also at the new Revel Casino. If you go to AC then check it out. It’s new, nice, big, seems like there is all the standard gambling/restaurants there. But I wouldn’t go out of my way to go to AC just for that. The only thing that gets me to Atlantic City is cagefights and the occasional bachelor party.

After the fights, I drove to Philadelphia. Upon arriving at 1am, I started watching “Jerry Maguire” with my friend Scott. Scott was just getting back from a hilarious date and telling me the awful details. You ladies. There are a lot of good ladies out there, but there are a lot of bad ones and Scott is ending up with some baddies. A college educated, certified professional masseuse, home owner, car owner, great personality owner, and in good shape is on OkCupid and paying for dates with more or less Philly’s riff raff. No justice in this world.

Watched the almighty Spanish Roja soccer team beat up the French. I love Spain. I love Xabi Alonso and the two goals he scored.

We went to the movies and saw “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”. It wasn’t good, but it was hysterical. I don’t think it was purposefully supposed to be as funny as it was, but who cares – it made the movie fun. It’s definitely so bad and cheesy that it’s funny. At the same time, I’m not sure I’m going to watch any more Timur Bekmambetov (sp?) movies. Whatever touch he had with “Night Watch” and “Day Watch” has been gone… long gone.

Went to the bar to watch UFC 147. It was a decent event. I wasn’t really emotionally involved with most of the fights, but there were some good ones. The event was in Brazil and it was pretty much a card filled to the brim with Brazilians fighting Brazilians, so there’s that. No crowd is better than the Brazilian crowds though. They’re by far the most into any and all fights. They sound like a revolution is happening during every bout.

I got pretty drunk Saturday night. Drank a literal bucket of beers to myself and a few vodka drinks.

I was sort of hungover on Sunday.

We watched the GARBAGE soccer game between England and Italy. Both of those teams should have been eliminated for being BORING. Ugh, I hate Italy and England. What a shitty game.

Got home Sunday night.

I watched “The Newsroom” on HBO for about 20-30 minutes… then turned it off to never be watched by my eyes again. Honestly, who the fuck cares? Who the fuck wants to watch a TV show about a fictional news team fictionally covering the BP oil spill? I don’t. Why would I? And Aaron Sorkin’s recipe is more bland and exhausting every time I see it. What made “The Social Network” great was that Fincher handled Sorkin’s mess. Sorkin on his own is just walls of text being alternated read as fast as humanly possible either in a robotic monotone voice or in a YELLING VOICE THAT WOULD GET SOMEONE THROW INTO AN INSANE ASYLUM FOR YELLING LIKE THIS. It’s a mix of C3P0 on cocaine participating in a high school debate to Bill O’Reilly being fucked in the ass with a stun gun(!). And his dialogue is definitely not plug and play. Most of these actors sound idiotic trying to fold into his framework. There’s not a thought about who is reciting this dialogue. For instance, Sam Waterson who honestly sounded like an old man at an old age home having an old person panic attack about being old.

Whatever.

How was your weekend?

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One Response to “Woke Up This Morning To The Lord Trying To Drown Me”

  1. ATinyBun said

    I puked Grey Goose onto the beach and buried in the sand before the break of noon then ate a pile of fried clams.

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