An Oldie, But A Goodie – No Post Wednesday

August 1, 2012

I’m getting ready to go see Mumford & Sons in Hoboken, NJ and imbibe some spirits before hand.

It’s supposed to rain, which blows. The concert is outside, so if you can pray for me and for no rain that would be great.

I do have to say, the USA women’s gymnastics team fucking smoked the competition last night. Not even the competition, but the apparatuses. I watched it happen live on the ‘puter and then re-watched it on NBC because I fucking love the Olympics. The second viewing did involve some scotch drinking. McKayla Maroney dropped a fucking atom bomb on the vault last night. WOOOO!!! Like “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair – WOOOO!!! Unreal. That chick deserved a 16.5 or a 17 or simply they should stop having the vault and always declare McKayla Maroney the gold medal winner. The floor routines were also fucking unstoppable. One right after another they somehow got better and better. Gabby set it up, Jordyn fucking spiked it in all their faces, and then for good measure Aly just came out and punted them all in the face while they were on the ground already beaten. It was incredible.

One of my favorite parts was after they won, how happy Aly sounded when she said to Kyla, “you’re crying!” Hahahah, Kyla’s not a robot! Thank God. I thought you were a robot and you were the first of many for the robopocalypse.

Michael Phelps is the best. The end.

Fuck anyone who send anything bad about him. If you said something bad about Michael Phelps, I hope you stub your toe and it breaks. Yep. That’s what I think.

I feel like in 20 years we’ll see a 60 Minutes or HBO Sports or some news special on how Michael Phelps hasn’t swam a lap in a pool or even been in a pool since the London Games.

Also, I think this time in 2013, Michael Phelps will be best friends with former Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams and the two of them will be hiking mountains in China and/or following Jack Johnson’s California college tour.

I love you?

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