Did pixie actress Kristen Stewart join international criminal organization MS-13?

October 12, 2012

Short answer: Probably not.

Long answer: I was concerned for most of yesterday that the Wantess did in fact join the aforementioned mega gang that runs from Los Angeles to the depths of South America.

Yahoo’s trending top featured both “Kristen Stewart” and “MS-13” for much of the day. It was worrying that after Kristen had been so badly treated by the internet and the press over making out with a married man that she decided to take refuge in the arms of possibly the most violent and scary gang that has been now labeled an “international criminal organization” by the US government.

While people have worried about Kristen’s future in the acting “biz”, I was worried that she decided to get work elsewhere as a possible drug mule and/or hitman (hitwoman?) for the Mara Salvatrucha. It’s somewhat plausible considering that she lives in Los Angeles and they started in Los Angeles. That’s really all you need. She needs friends, they seem friendly(?) or at least open to new members.

I did click on the links over and over again. It appears that the female lead of “Adventureland” didn’t join MS-13, which is a relief. Apparently, Kristen is just being Kristen and becoming a trending topic for no reason at all. As for MS-13, well now they’re classified under that new international criminal organization classification, which I would bet they’re pretty happy about. Sure, you do what you do possibly because you love to do it and possibly just for the benefits like money it brings in, but it’s also nice to be recognized for all your hard work. Being labeled an international criminal organization by the US treasury department is probably akin to receiving one of those crystal placards with your name embossed on it at your office job.

Either way, I’m relieved. I plan on seeing “On The Road” when it comes out and the only international criminal organization that I was planning on helping when that movie comes out were the billionaires and millionaires of Hollywood who have been rotting my brain and the brains of everyone who is forced to watch their crap.

What else?

Steelers lost. FUCK IT. That’s two games the Steelers have dropped that they should have won in the exact same fucking way. The Steelers are 2-3 and should be 4-1. They were beat by the Broncos flat out. Although that was a close game, the Broncos looked better than the Steelers that night. The Steelers were kind of lucky the game was that close. Their execution on third down that night (and most of the season) was flawless. The Steelers turned around and man-handled the Jets, which was amazing. The Steelers then give a game away they were dominating against the Raiders, which should’ve never happened. They allowed Carson Palmer to march the field on them like he was in his mythical prime and throwing to Hall of Fame wide receivers. The Steelers then beat the Eagles in a close methodical game in which they held Mike Vick (dog owner? really?!) to very little. Then turn around and have a topsy turvy game with the Titans last night where they were executing better, but kept allowing the Titans to inch back and keep the game close. And then give it away on the 54 yard missed field goal with only seconds remaining back to Hasselbeck and his sure fire kicker Bironas on a much easier 40 yard field goal. FUCK. And at the same time, the Steelers are dropping like flied with injuries. Watched three offensive linemen get injured, a running back get injured who just came back from injury, another running back who was having the best game of his short career get injured, defensive players getting injured. FUCK.

UFC 153 is on Saturday night from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

“Argo” and “Here Comes the Boom” come out today.

“The Walking Dead” starts on Sunday. “Homeland” continues on Sunday. I’m moving on Sunday.

I hope you have a great weekend.

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One Response to “Did pixie actress Kristen Stewart join international criminal organization MS-13?”

  1. PWG said

    I saw Taken 2, as kind of a placeholder until Argo comes out. There is just shit-all out at the movies this month.

    Taken 2 was exactly what you would expect it to be, which honestly is not good. Famke Janssen is an ugly crier, and they shouldn’t have her do it for 90 minutes in a row. God DAMN did that woman cry a lot in this movie. My favorite part was Liam Neeson telling his daughter 200 times in a row to just drive the fucking car, already. “Go, Kim! Go. Keep going! Get out of here! DRIVE THE FUCKING CAR, KIM!!!!”

    Liam, or Bryan, whatever your character’s name is, you have to learn that if you keep giving instructions that your children don’t follow, over and over and over, they’ll won’t think you really mean what you say. The next time you want something, you’ll have to ask for THAT a couple of hundred times, too. The best way to get your point across is to shoot her in the head the first time she doesn’t press the gas pedal to your liking.

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