Let’s Have A Great Weekend And Eat Pissed On Shark

October 19, 2012

What. Up.

I am sitting in a symphony of rain at the moment. When the weatherman – I’m looking at you, Lee Goldberg, said that it was going to rain today, he should have said, “It is going to RAAAAAYYYYYYY———-NUHHHHHHHUHUUHUHUHUHGH! RAIN! RAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNNN! TODAAAAY! I LOVE YOU, MILWAUKEE!” He really should’ve emphasized how much fucking rain there was going to be. It’s a little much. Like Baz Luhrman’s “Moulin Rouge”. We get it. I get it. You’re flamboyant. Did John Leguizamo really have to play a dwarf? It’s a bit much.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a great week. I wouldn’t know it if you did unless you told me, so I just assume you have. And, the weekend is rolling in and hopefully you have a good one of those, so I’ll say – I hope you have a great weekend and …

Oh right! I can’t finish my post before I explain eating shark soaked in piss! How silly of me?

Well, this story starts where all stories about sharks soaked in piss start – in Iceland…

Ahhhh, Iceland. It looks so majestic, doesn’t it? Oh, that’s just the flag. Hmmm…

Anyway, on UFC.com there is a reoccurring series of articles written about fighters’ diets. A fighter is chosen and he talks about his diet. Plain and simple, right? Sure, unless you talk to Renzo Gracie and you must be prepared for tales of wit and sheer insanity. He’s an incredible man who told an incredible story – one of hundreds he has in that Brazilian brain of his.

http://www.ufc.com/news/The-Renzo-Gracie-Diet

The story he told that I’m specifically thinking of was about a “delicacy” in Iceland. He visited Iceland to meet up with Iceland’s golden boy of MMA – Gunnar Nelson. There Renzo was treated to certainly unique sounding dish involving shark, human piss, and weeks upon weeks of lovely marination…

A SHARK LIKE NO OTHER

I went to Iceland and that’s where I met Gunnar Nelson (world-class BJJ player and UFC fighter). They took me to eat a shark that had been dead and buried for six months. This is how the ancient people of Iceland used to eat shark. The shark dies, they dig a hole and put the whole shark in there and then a whole tribe urinates on the shark to preserve it. Funny thing is, the meat of the shark becomes like a cream cheese. The taste is not bad … but the smell! For that reason when they bury the shark they must do it far away from town. The smell was unforgettable. I wouldn’t eat it again. I can still smell it.

REGRET EATING IT?

You have to regret the things you didn’t do, NOT the ones you did.

TA DA!

That’s the shark and piss story! DID YOU ENJOY IT?!

Oddly enough, I am planning on going to Iceland in a few weeks with @_dharv and I’m not at all planning on eating shark marinated in months old human piss. Call me crazy, but Renzo and Gunnar can eat my share of the piss soaked shark.

Here is a nice highlight (a couple years old) of Gunnar Nelson just to prove I’m talking about a BJJ ace and cagefighter and not the other half of that terrible twin band from the early 90’s.

Anyway…

I hope you have some fun this weekend.

“Argo” is your best bet in the theaters. Also, “On The Road” is “available” online if you know where to look. I haven’t watched it, but I have seen that it is out there.

Please don’t see “Alex Cross”. Please don’t. To anyone who is reading this, don’t see “Alex Cross”. For my sake and yours. For my sake, I love you. There are people who read this blog – a few – that I do know and let me say I love you and I don’t want someone I love to pay money or time to see garbage like “Alex Cross”. For those of you who read this blog and I don’t, I love you too… although not as much as the ones that I know what they look like and have met and so forth because I’m superficial like that. It’s hard to love an avatar.

Hmmmm…

“It’s Hard to Love an Avatar” would be a good name for a book or movie or something. It could be about a long distance relationship. How about a girl is a research scientist in Antarctica and lives there and the southern most tip of Chile? The other girl is also a scientist, but she works on the eating habits of owls in the woods of Oregon. They met in college, but their areas of expertise drove them apart and their postings are on basically opposite ends of the Earth. They try to remain together through the internet. While, the girl in Oregon has access to night life, friends, and temptations in Portland; the other girl is becoming increasingly more isolated on this distant planet at the South pole. The girl in Antarctica loves her work and is afraid that if she does what she sort of thinks is right – to break up with the other girl to let her live a more normal life – she fears she’ll never meet someone and will die alone, she’ll become more stuck in her work and never get out.

And yes they’re lesbians. I’ve had enough of these hetero stories. Always some douche guy I hate and some chick who is way too good looking for him and who is always written as a complete bitch in the end. So, let’s try to change that dynamic. Also, twice a year they meet for a week in Mexico or the Caribbean – where ever is pretty much equidistant – and have insanely hot lesbian sex. That would be a good movie.

Anyway…

Don’t see “Alex Cross”.

Have a great weekend.

Advertisements

One Response to “Let’s Have A Great Weekend And Eat Pissed On Shark”

  1. PWG said

    Speaking of pissed-on shark, I’m being hate-stalked by my ex-boss. And apparently there was a sale on hyphens. He hopes I’ll die in a fire and will spend the rest of his life trying to ruin me and my co-workers, is the gist of it. It was a very melodramatic series of e-mails, anyway, followed by several off-hours phone calls that I declined to answer.

    So there’s my exciting story, and I’ll be in Chicago next week. Luckily I love Chicago, and my SharkPissBoss will not be there unless his stalking goes really, REALLY well.

    In the meantime, I will count myself amongst the non-avatar loved people, because I have seen the faces of you and your lovely Iceland companion and frankly need to offset the unhinged vitriol I waded through this week.

    I’ve never eaten pissed-on shark, but it sounds *hork* delicious.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: