How Slutty Are You Getting This Weekend?

October 26, 2012


My ushe … usual. I’ll be all wearing just my underwear around the house. Just some boxer briefs while I’m beating some eggs. Scrambled eggs with my best, strong, black friend Peet. Peet’s coffee with the eggs and a nice slab of bacon for your mouth. Like when you eat bacon with the eggs and possibly toast or a bagel. That’s my sluttiness. I’m hooker who also makes you breakfast… well me and you breakfast. I’m eating it too. Probably more than you are. I’ve got an appetite for tawdriness and well cooked Western breakfast. So slutty.

I imagine others will be going out for Halloween this weekend considering Halloween actually falls on a Wednesday. I guess people are too prude to get slutified on a Wednesday. Doesn’t make any sense really. It is Hump Day after all.

Nevertheless, I am quite curious what people are going to dress up as.

I do not like dressing up, but that’s mostly because I have to think up what I’m going to wear. I hate that. If someone just gave me a costume then I would wear it. I don’t want to be apart of the rest of the process.

So, what are you dressing up as?

Besides dressing up for Halloween, if you are preparing to get pretty slutty in another way, please share that story as well.

I don’t think anyone ever has been like, “You want to share a slutty story with me? No!” Even religious people want you to share it. You share it and then they try to pull you out of the demon’s clutches. Meanwhile, I will try to push you further into the demon’s clutches or at least try to get you to re-enact the slutty story again because hearing a story is one thing – being there is another.

I would like to thank the Republican party for all the ridiculous anti-women stuff they’re coming out with nowadays. It seems by the hour, I’m becoming more and more of a feminist or a champion for women’s rights by simply doing nothing. Like me just wanting women to have all the birth control in the world so we can have sex and not worry about a stupid baby is starting to become like Maya Angelou territory of feminism. Who would’ve guessed it? I’m almost of the mindset that we should be force feeding women birth control until they’re of an age where they’re cool with an unexpected pregnancy.

If I was President, there would be an undercurrent that women who are of consensual age should be banging more. And dudes too. I mean I’m not too worried about gay guys because they kind of solved any sex problem ever with Grindr. Like the only problem now that gay guys face is if said gay guy doesn’t own a smart phone or know about Grindr. The smart phone thing will eventually work itself out in a few years when they don’t even offer an alternative to a smart phone. As for not knowing about Grindr, if you’re even remotely gay like you’ve met a gay guy or heard about them and you’re kind of fuckable then you’ve heard about Grindr. They made jokes about it on The Office! Anyway… gay guys are way ahead of the curve, so much so I’m incredibly jealous.

Safe to say, gay guys are getting slutty and my Presidency supports it.

“Cloud Atlas” comes out this weekend. I think we’re saving to see it on Tuesday night when it’s free.

I watched a little bit of “On The Road” the other night just to get a taste. Kristen “The Countess of Wantess” Stewart seems to be in a good chuck of the middle to the second half of the movie. She also shows nips twice. BOOYAH. The only thing that I noticed in particular was that Sal’s voice is going to take some getting used to. Also, I’m still not sold on Hedlund being Moriarty. He just looks like Hedlund. Moriarty/Neal Cassady looked more like Marlon Brando… except tortured. Kerouac and Cassady kind of looked alike and Hedlund and Sam Riley not so much. It does look like they put a lot of the book in the movie though.

Anything else?

What else is going on in the world?

I hope you have a great weekend.

I hope you all on the East Coast (including myself) do not get hit too hard by this new tropical storm.

I love you?


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