Brad Pitt and Carly Rae Jepsen are doing it in a thrift shop…

December 3, 2012

… in my head, but don’t you sort of wish they really were just “doing” … IT?! Right?! That would rule, right?! Just DOING IT. Just a little unh unh unh UNH… STEELERS!!! … unh … all over some used sweaters.

Well, good day, readers. Good week and, hopefully, a good past weekend.

Much of my weekend has been spent either thinking about Carly Rae Jepsen and/or Brad Pitt while, also, thinking about thrift shops, so you can slightly excuse my ideas of all of those things cumming together… EWWWWWWWWWW… just saying.

But before we get to that…

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CHAZ BATCH, YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD!

The Pittsburgh Steelers are an excellent football team and franchise. They’re certainly flawed in their moments. Things aren’t always pretty, but the team can show up on Sunday or Monday or Thursday or any day of the week and win. Overcoming injuries and, at times, their own screw-ups – they are a wonderful professional tackle football team.

Yesterday, led by #16, who is currently sobbing into Large Benjamin’s shoulder at the moment in this picture, the Steelers beat their rivals the Baltimore Ravens in Baltimore. This split this year’s series 1-1 between the Ravens as the Ravens won by a field goal in Pittsburgh only a couple weeks ago. But the big story is that of Chuckster, up there, being the QB who did it. Not the Frankenstein’s monster Big Ben who is a recognizable force out there, but their nearly 40 year old back-up’s back-up won the game.

The Steelers won by a last second field goal. That’s wonderful, but the Steelers should have won that game by a lot more and more smoothly. Batch threw an interception in the red zone, he overthrew a completely open by himself Mike Wallace in the endzone, Emmanuel Sanders on his way to possible score a TD or at least be really close to a TD fumbles the ball without being hit, and a couple other things happened, but those were three situations where the Steelers could have really opened this game up. Meanwhile, the Ravens’ scores mostly came off of these turnovers. Obviously, I’m very happy the Steelers won. I’m just saying they could have won even more convincingly, but they love giving fans heart problems and make everything so damn dramatic.

Last Monday, I was talking about football and something happened yesterday that changes something I said. Previously in my quiet time, I had considered that the Seattle Seahawks would make the playoffs in the wildcard slot. But I was hesitant about saying that because the Seahawks had 3 games on the road and 2 at home. The first road game they had was in Chicago. I thought that that was going to be a win for Chicago and a loss for the Seahawks. I WAS WRONG. So, Seattle wins yesterday. They win in epic fashion as most of their wins this season have been. I would like to change my opinion and say that the Seattle Seahawks will take the wildcard spot in the NFC alongside the Bears, meanwhile the Packers will win the NFC North division. That’s what I wanted to say.

Now…

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I can’t stop listening to this chick.

The “Call Me Maybe” song is all good and dandy, but I haven’t listened to that song in several months. Well, probably since the Olympics when they kept showing over and over that Missy Franklin and the rest of the swimmers did the lip sync video. I GET IT! IT WAS CUTE! NOW, LET’S WATCH SOME SPORTS!… Even if that sport is swimming, but let’s watch it. Anyway, Carly has a new single and said single is crack for my brain right now.

I defy you to listen to this song twice and not hear that chorus in your head FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. It’s getting worrisome at this point. I can’t stop the song playing in my head or whistling it. After you have the chorus stuck in your head then the opening 80’s-ness will stick in your head and then you’ll start trolling the internet looking for information about Carly Rae and possibly downloading her album and then you start questioning what you know about the world and yourself. WHO AM I?! TELL ME, CARLY!

I have also been mutating this truly poppy ear heroin with two other songs…

So, it’s basically multiplying a catchy brunette with identical twins of catchy-ocity.

These Tegan & Sara munchkins can write a diddy or two.

But it doesn’t end there.

With the thick mind-controlling concrete mix of “Closer” and “Tiny Little Bows”, there is a third song that is building a super structure inside my brain of jingles running into each other and creating newer and weirder collaborations to the point that the saturation level in my skull just needs to release it through quick bursts of musicalness.

Basically, I have tourettes now.

And this final culprit…

“I wear your Grand Dad’s clothes, and I look incredible.”

I can’t stop saying it. I CAN’T STOP SAYING IT!

Try your best to not let them eat your brain, but be forewarned.

Lastly, Mr. Pitt.

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Saturday night, @_dharv and I saw “Killing Them Softly” and, apparently, we were two of the few. I’m surprised it didn’t do better. Honestly. I would definitely say that the movie is different than the one they are portraying it in the trailers. But the movie in the trailers looks like something people would want to see. It’s a wham bam, shoot ’em up, gangster hitman movie. Not to say there isn’t plenty of wham bam, shoot ’em up, gangster hitman stuff in the actual movie, but they’re really pushing that stuff in the trailer and it’s surprising people aren’t seeing it.

I don’t know where it comes from. Are people really reading movie reviews? If they do read movie reviews, they’ll read that the movie is not really what they’re showing in the trailer. I have seen some good reviews for the movie. I’ve also seen some bad reviews where they still say the acting is great, which sounds like an oxymoron to me. I can’t think of too many movies where I think the acting was great and I thought the movie was bad. Either way, is it that people are actually reading these reviews and they’re not seeing the movie because of that? I would find that that my account for some people not seeing it, but only $7 million worth of people showed up this weekend. That’s a lot of fucking people reading reviews and/or a lot of people who don’t want to see a 70’s styled hitman gangster movie. Seems incomprehensible to me.

Either way… we liked it.

The movie is different in the way it is being portrayed. The movie is a lot more thoughtful than that and has a lot more to say that just mindlessly shooting guns. The movie makes a point that there is a reason for this violence and that the violence is being done in this way for a reason too.

The story is simple. Gangsters have had some gangster shit done to them and order needs to be restored. It’s a small story, but the movie uses an interesting story telling device to make it feel like a much larger story through metaphor. The movie is a modern adaptation of a book titled “Cogan’s Trade” from the mid-70’s. The book is set during the recession of the early to mid 70’s. The director Andrew Dominik updated that idea to the current recession and setting the movie during the Presidential election of 2008 with Pres. Bush leaving office talking about the tough economic times as McCain/Obama are talking about it as well and how they’re going to fix it and make the country whole again if they’re elected. More or less, the soundtrack of the movie is sound bites from those talks while you are watching a mob story about them losing confidence in their own economic situation and how they must take action – hitman Brad Pitt – to stabilize this madness. While you hear about the US government making their political decisions to fix their problems, you see how the mob must do the same, but their methods are a little different.

To me, that sounds great. I like that a lot as an idea for a movie. And visually, Andrew Dominik makes beautiful films. His name might not be memorable, but his last movie “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Cowardly Robert Ford” is memorable. Dominik’s films are not told through speed and cuts and frenzy. Dominik slows down the situation and makes it intimate and emotional and once you realize how dramatic it is – he lingers and he doesn’t sugarcoat how graphic violence can be. It’s agonizing. It sticks with you. It leaves a mark. I like that.

As far as dialogue, Dominik likes his characters to talk. To open up to each other. Most of “Killing Them Softly” is dialogue. It’s a lot of talk. And when the people talk, they reveal what they’re thinking and don’t just talk of plot. They talk about what they’re feeling and what they want to do and why. If he has a damaged character, he has them tell you why they’re damaged or how they feel about it. It’s not taken for granted in that way. He also does this with pretty natural, sit down dialogue scenes. People sit and talk when they’re deciding to sit and talk. In most movies, they try to sandwich in action with dialogue. Like the cliche talking during sex. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve never had blase conversations while having sex with someone. I’ve never discussed my plans while I was having sex. But you see it in almost every movie or TV show you watch, but I don’t think or at least I hope that isn’t how it is for other people. In “Killing Them Softly” the characters are sitting down and having talks like human beings actually do.

In some ways, I would say this movie reminds me of “Drive”. Both were 70’s style gangster movies done by young modern day directors and done right and, for the most part, done better than those 70’s directors ever did. “Drive” is a love story though, and this is not. But I think if you liked “Drive” and you liked “Drive” for the movie itself and not because you just want to lady bone Ryan Gosling then you would like “Killing Them Softly”. At the same time, I don’t think one means the other. “Drive” doesn’t have much dialogue especially when Albert Brooks isn’t in the scene. Meanwhile, there’s a lot of dialogue in “Killing Them Softly”. So, “Drive” has more heart and less words, while “Killing Them Softly” has more words and less heart. I’m fine with that. I really enjoyed both thoroughly. Both were beautifully executed movies.

Still on my list that is out right now… I need to see “Flight” and “Life of Pi” and “The Silver Linings Playbook”.

How was your weekend?!

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