Another Weekend Past And Another Weekend Used Wisely

January 7, 2013

Hello, hello, hullo…

No big projects accomplished or book shelves built or algorithms written to get my bank account to reverse its downward trend… but it was a satisfying weekend in the end.

What did I do?

FRIDAY

I ate myself retarded on Mexican food.

Literally, retarded my overall intellectual profile by 30 IQ points after I finished feeding my facial flavor hole with chicken quesadilla, mole enchiladas, tostito chips, and red wine. It was like my brain had to sacrifice a significant fraction of its available power to help out my stomach to breakdowns and absorb all the ridiculousness that had been piled up in my tummy. Wonderful, nonetheless.

There was really only one thing to do once in that near comatose state, watch “The Wire”.

Danielle lived an impoverished childhood to adulthood. I’m not saying she only had one shoe or had no school lunches or had to share a toothbrush with her brother. No, but she never had HBO.

WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!?!?!?!!??!!?!?!?

I mean, I don’t know how the fuck she could have ever lived in this depreciated state of being. If you can call it “living”, Danielle never had HBO until she met me. I think I’ve brought many valuable lessons, knowledge, anecdotes, laughter, love, and all that other corny bullshit to Danielle’s life.

But the most important thing I’ve given my girlfriend is HBO.

When we were simply dating, we watched Game of Thrones, VEEP, Girls and whatever else has been topical. But now that we’re living together, it has been a mission to get her informed about “The Wire”. Informed meaning seeing every fucking second of that show as quickly as possible.

As of Friday, we’ve finished the third season.

I’ve watched and re-watched “The Wire” on numerous occasions like re-reading my favorite book, but better because I don’t have to read shit and there’s some nudity along with the cursing and gangsta’ dialogue. We’re making some good progress getting through 3 seasons in a month I think. We’ve got two more seasons with the 4th season aka “arguably, the best season of television in television history” next.

SATURDAY

Well, the bulk of the day was family business and having a belated Christmas/Holiday dinner with Danielle’s grandma. Personally, I don’t have any grandparents. I really only had one for the majority of my life and she died suddenly a couple years ago now. Although she was upwards of a billion years old, Grandma Reva was still sharp as a tack and kind of just died randomly one day while packing a suitcase – I think. Or she was folding laundry to then put in a suitcase or something like that. Nothing strenuous. It just ended.

The rest of my grandparents had been gone for awhile. Reva’s husband Bernie aka Bernard aka my dad’s dad died when I was still a young pup in elementary school. I remember him. I remember his and Reva’s old house in Far Rockaway, New York. I remember him smelling of smoke. I remember him drinking R.C. Cola and him eating these sugarless lollipops. At least I think they were sugarless. They were weird lollipops that could only be procured in specialized areas that seemed to elude my then-child-like understanding because I was a child. I also remember his stack of Penthouse magazines about as tall as I was hidden in his closet that I stumbled upon once during a High Holy day dinner, which I tried to hide when I was confronted by sitting on it and was punished for finding and looking through.

Still to this day I wonder… why Penthouse? Right?! Who the fuck has a subscription to Penthouse? My old ass Jewish grandfather. Who knows.

My other grandfather had been dead long before I had been born, my parents had been married, my parents had even met nor graduated high school. So, I didn’t know him. My grandma on my Mom’s side proved to be not worthy of being known as the years went on and we all lost touch with her when I was 13 and she deemed my Bar Mitzvah “skippable”. Kind of a random straw to break the camel’s back after nearly a lifetime of being a bitch and abusive to my Mom, but hey the world works in mysterious ways. More than anything, don’t fuck with me because my Mom will scorn you forever. Honestly, if my Mom could send people to an eternity of damnation, the list would start with the Hitlers and Osama Bin Laden’s and the John Wayne Gacys and about 20 names in there would be my first grade teacher followed by the other 5th grade teacher, possibly that one English teacher from middle school who thought I was a bully, and my junior year high school English teacher who gave me a D on my research paper because she thought the topic of “professional wrestling” wasn’t appropriate. Those people would be lashed with a venom laced fire and barb wire whip for thousands upon millions of years because they crossed me.

Anyway… got kind of sidetracked there..

The rest of SATURDAY was spent watching female cagefighting and football. Honestly, I can’t think of a better way to spend time.

The football games on Saturday and Sunday minus the Seattle/Washington game were a little uneventful. The home team, the favored team won their respective game with relative ease. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but just saying. It’s what happened. As for Sunday’s battle between the Redskins and the Seahawks, that was entertainment. Two of the most exciting teams from regular season and two surprising teams having an intense 4 quarters of action. I expected Seattle to win that game as well, but it was in no small part due to RGIII getting injured. Can’t wait to see him play next season. Can’t wait to see Seattle travel to Atlanta.

As for the AFC… I think both Houston and Baltimore will lose their respective games against Denver and New England and the AFC championship game will be Denver and New England – Manning vs. Brady of 2012 part 2.

As for the NFC… I think it’s a toss up between the teams. I could see either Green Bay or San Francisco winning that game and I could see either Atlanta or Seattle winning their games. I think the favorites to me are Atlanta and Green Bay going into the game. I’m rooting for Seattle, but Atlanta plays great at home and it’s at home for them. Seattle has grown by leaps and bounds, but at some point the train stops when they’re playing far from home each and every week. I’ll be rooting for Seattle, but I’m not expecting them to win although I think they can win. Meanwhile, either team can take it in San Francisco.

But what I do believe… neither the Denver Broncos or the New England Patriots want to see the Green Bay Packers in the Super Bowl. I think if the AFC had a worst case scenario, it would be the Green Bay Packers coming from the NFC. Manning and Brady have a psychological advantage over San Francisco, Atlanta, and Seattle, but not against Green Bay. Why? Because Aaron Rodgers is just as good as they are. That’s the thing. Your quarterback is your leader. As far as putting points on the board and being consistent week-in-and-week-out and all that, Rodgers matches Brady and Manning, but the rest don’t. Matt Ryan hasn’t proven himself in the playoffs or even in the regular season the way Rodgers has. Ryan is a very good quarterback, but no one says he’s on the even playing field with Manning and Brady. Green Bay is the team the AFC wants to see eliminated. The others? Not nearly as worried, in my opinion.

And the women fighting in Invicta… FUCKING NINJAS… Ninja women.

SUNDAY

More football and so forth…

Danielle saw to it to make chewy chocolate bourbon toffee cookies of heavenly proportions. We also made some breaded porkchops and mashed potatoes and all that stuff too, but the cookies. THE COOKIES!

To cap off the evening, we watched THIS IS 40.

I liked it, a lot.

I thought it was incredibly funny. I thought it was a good serving of comedy and drama. It was poignant in its honesty and it made me laugh consistently with funny dialogue instead of gags or pratfalls. I liked all of that.

My problems with the movie all stem from the structure of the movie. It’s supposed to be a week in a life of this family. SO MUCH HAPPENS IN THAT WEEK. Way too much. It doesn’t make sense that all of this happens in just a week, but they made it that way.

As far as a collection of scenes and ideas, it’s great.

As far as it being a week in a family’s life and that week seems like it was 168 hours of continuous daylight for these people to have done all of this in instead of several months piecemealed together, that was a little regrettable.

It seemed like they either needed less to happen in that week or they needed to extend the time period. One or the other. But besides that, I thought it was very good.

After that, I bought a scotch whiskey poster and Danielle bought some wall art and now I’m here.

HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND?!

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5 Responses to “Another Weekend Past And Another Weekend Used Wisely”

  1. PWG said

    I was trying to boo-hoo about growing up without HBO, but then I remembered that I grew up with 12 CHANNELS. And no means of recording them. If you wanted to watch Charlotte’s Web (my childhood equivalent of The Wire) you had to goddamn wait until it came on once a year. We studied the TV Guide so we wouldn’t miss our one annual shot at seeing Charlie Brown Christmas or The Wizard of Oz. Our remote control was physically connected to the TV with a cable. Oh God, I was so deprived, I remember when no one had microwaves.

  2. PWG said

    Re: finding porn, my parents were divorced when I was an infant, but my mom bought a camper from my dad when I was around 8. I was scoping the thing out the first week, looking in all the drawers and cabinets and what-not by myself, and I found a loaded handgun and some REALLY raunchy magazines. Whatever’s one up (down?) from Penthouse. I didn’t touch the gun, but I did look through the magazines.

    I do wish I could have heard THAT phone call between my parents. And if I’d been a smarter 8-year old I could have had my very own drop gun! Just like (probably) someone in The Wire! Which I’ve never seen because I still don’t have HBO.

    • My dad was a volunteer firefighter, and my brother and I used to go to the firehouses with him on occasion. We once found a bunch of porn magazines in their bathroom cabinet, and smuggled two out under our shirts. We hid them in the basement playroom in child-size suitcases with “Going to Grandma’s” written on the front. We looked at them and read the “confessions” together (weird, I know), and shared them with friends at sleepovers. Then they just disappeared one day. No one every said anything to us about them. I used to wonder if my mom thought my dad was hiding dirty magazines in his kids’ toy room, or if she knew we were behind it… At least there were no guns involved.

  3. I only stay with you for the fancy cable.

  4. Kim said

    Damn, now I want to eat myself retarded with Mexican food!! Thx, I’m having srs cravings right now.
    Also added The Wire to my list of Series to Watch. I’ve had HBO since I was 10, but somehow this show escaped me. I know it’s good and I’ve come to love watching TV shows whole seasons at a time!
    And speaking of TV series — Starz new season of SPARTACUS is only 2 weeks away! One of the greatest gratuitous shows ever!
    I liked This Is 40 too — but was disappointed that the scene in the previews of Rudd jumping around behind his daughter with his boxers up to his boobs wasn’t in the actual film. It was kind of the whole reason I wanted to see it.
    I saw Django Unchained, End of Watch and The Impossible this weekend. All very good films and very different from each other.
    Django was fun, bloody and everything you’d expect from QT. However, I think it could have easily been 30 minutes shorter.
    End of Watch was shockingly good. I’m still thinking about it.
    The Impossible — excellent film. I started watching it just for the Tsunami, but then was completely hooked. I highly recommend.
    Cheers

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