The Great Gatsby Stinks? and NBC Is Re-Shuffling The Deck

May 10, 2013

WHAT. UP?!

The big movie coming out this weekend is most assuredly an adaptation of a book you’ve read, but judging by all the online articles I see – you’ve probably forgot the plot and outcome and characters’ names and possibly the point of the book.

Well, don’t worry, silly butt! I’m calling you “silly butt” for the remainder of this post.

Of course, Silly Butt, I’m talking about…

THE GREAT GATSBY

Silly Butt, if you wanted to get a solid Cliff’s Notes understanding of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “The Great Gatsby” you would most definitely ask film fashionista Baz Luhrman to create a 2+ hour spectacle for you completely re-imagined in 3D, right? RIGHT?! I think you, Silly Butt, know how much integrity Baz has when it comes to faithful adaptations of classic works of literature being transformed into flashy movies featuring pop-music soundtracks… RIGHT?!

Actually, Silly Butt, if I’m going to be honest with your silly butt then I would admit that I do like Luhrman’s “Romeo & Juliet”. The absurdity of the style and colors and all that busy-ness works for me. The only scene I thought was a little troublesome was actually the scene when Romeo and Juliet are doing the by the window thing and he’s down by the pool and so forth and they end up kissing in the pool. I just thought it didn’t seem like much of a climb for Romeo and should’ve been a little higher up because he’s like a foot from her and she can’t see him? It’s nit-picky and with that I think that shows I did like the movie if that’s my fault with it.

I think they all handled the troubling tongue-twisting dialogue quite well. Plus, Radiohead is on the soundtrack.

Add to that, Silly Butt, that all the other Romeo & Juliet adaptations suck balls. Like big ones. BIGGER THAN THAT EVEN. Specifically, Franco Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet which I think is a bland and stale movie minus how beautiful Olivia Hussey is in it and then you have to pretend like you’ve never looked up how old she was when she made the movie and pretend like you didn’t read on IMDB that she was only 15 and you want to throw yourself off a building and you keep that all tucked inside your brain and never mention that movie to anyone ever… right, Silly Butt?

ANYWAY!

The Great Gatsby is hovering around 45% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is not good. But I think that’s to be expected. I’m not saying I’ll like this movie, but I’ll go see it. I’m definitely interested in seeing it. I don’t think Luhrman is making movies for a 100% rating to begin with and I’m not even expecting to be of the 45% of people who have thus far enjoyed the movie. I am expecting to walk away from the movie thinking what a lot of them are thinking and what I thought when I first heard about the movie…

3D – Don’t like it

Music – Not a fan

Spectacle – Well orchestrated

Tobey Maguire – Could’ve been someone else

Carrey Mulligan – Miscast

Leonardo DiCaprio – Great

Style over substance – definitely

We’ll see, Silly Butt, we’ll see. I’m betting the movie is exactly what someone should expect from a Baz Luhrman 3D adaptation of a classic work of literature that is being made for a Summer movie audience. It shouldn’t be surprising; it just matters if you like that type of stuff or not. Do you like the sound of that, Silly Butt?

Next topic…

NBC

Four shows have been cancelled.

Five shows have been ordered.

The failed four – Up All Night, Whitney, 1600 Penn, and Guys with Kids.

I liked Up All Night. It certainly had its moments. I especially liked them bringing in Jason Lee as Maya Rudolph’s man. I thought they did a good job – sometimes. It wasn’t all good, but there were some good episodes. One episode I remember I really liked was the one about Will Arnett “cheating” on Christina Applegate by watching the last episode of a TV show with another mother when her kid was over on a play date. Another good episode was the New Years episode when they wrote down all the things they disliked about each other.

Fuck Whitney, Silly Butt.

Fuck 1600 Penn, Silly Butt.

Guys with Kids? Never saw it. Never remembered it was a TV show either.

So, what are the new shows?

1. ABOUT A BOY

Based on the best-selling Nick Hornby novel, written/produced by Jason Katims (“Friday Night Lights,” “Parenthood”) and directed by Jon Favreau comes a different kind of coming-of-age story. Will Freeman (David Walton, “Bent,” “Perfect Couples”) lives a charmed existence as the ultimate man-child. After writing a hit song, he was granted a life of free time, free love and freedom from financial woes. He’s single, unemployed and loving it. So imagine his surprise when Fiona (Minnie Driver), a needy, single mom and her oddly charming 11-year-old son Marcus move in next door and disrupt his perfect world. When Marcus begins dropping by his home unannounced, Will’s not so sure about being a kid’s new best friend, until, of course, Will discovers that women find single dads irresistible. That changes everything and a deal is struck: Marcus will pretend to be Will’s son and, in return, Marcus is allowed to chill at Will’s house, play ping-pong and gorge on steaks, something his very vegan mom would never allow. Before he realizes it, Will starts to enjoy the visits and even finds himself looking out for the kid. In fact, this newfound friendship may very well teach him a thing or two that he never imagined possible – about himself and caring for others.

Barf.

It sounds like it would be written by the guy who did “Parenthood” a show I would never like to watch ever.

I loved the movie. I’ve seen it a few times. I’m neither for or against Minnie Driver. I do like David Walton  – in general. I’m not sure if I like him for this role, but I like him. It makes me wonder if NBC has a development deal with Walton and they’re just plugging and playing him into shows to find that vehicle that works and satisfies this deal they have with him. I thought “Bent” was a good show. Actually, it was much better than however you perceived how much I liked “Up All Night”. Anyway… I kind of think he’s too young for the role. I don’t know how young he is – 15 year old Olivia Hussey young or a somewhat surprising 50 year old Jet Li – but he looks younger than I would expect someone to be to play that role.

Either way, I feel like I get enough feel good moral parables from “Modern Family”. Next…

2. BELIEVE

Levitation, telekinesis, the ability to control nature, even predict the future…

UGH… I wish I could stop right here, but I’m writing this for you, Silly Butt, and you should get to see the whole agonizing multi-paragraph summary.

Since she was two years old, Bo has had gifts she could neither fully understand, nor control. Raised by a small group known as the “True Believers,” the orphaned girl has been safeguarded from harmful outsiders who would use her forces for personal gain. But now that she is 10, her powers have become stronger, and the threat has grown more dangerous.

With her life and future now in jeopardy, the “Believers” turn to the only person they see fit to be her full-time protector. That is, once they break him out of jail. Tate, a wrongfully imprisoned death row inmate who’s lost his will, is initially reluctant – until he witnesses one of her extraordinary abilities. Bo sees people for who they truly are… and who they may become.

Tate and Bo begin their journey, one in which trust must be earned. Traveling from city to city, every place they stop and everyone they meet will be changed forever. But they’ll have to keep going to stay one step ahead of the sinister forces after Bo’s power… because it will take a miracle to keep them safe forever.

The powers of a young girl may hold the fate of our world in Believe, from executive producer J.J. Abrams (Revolution, Star Trek: Into Darkness) and executive producer/writer/director Alfonso Cuarón (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Children of Men).

Sounds like a movie. Probably should’ve been.

Will you watch this? Will you watch this, Silly Butt? A deathrow prisoner playing shepherd to a kid with telekinetic powers who is looking to put on a carnival tour of magic shows to make everyone BELIEVE about something while some group chases them to use her for their evils?

I doubt it. Although, I bet this show gets a couple of seasons.

3. CRISIS

From writer/producer Rand Ravich (“Life,” “The Astronaut’s Wife”) and starring Dermot Mulroney, Gillian Anderson, Lance Gross and Rachael Taylor comes an emotionally charged, action thriller.

It’s field trip day for the students of Ballard High School, a place that educates the children of Washington, D.C.’s elite, top-of-their-industry CEOs, international diplomats, political power players and even the president’s son. But when their bus is ambushed on a secluded rural road, the teenagers and their chaperones are taken, igniting a national crisis. Now with some of the country’s most powerful parents at the mercy of one vengeful mastermind, the question arises: How far would you go and what would you become to ensure your child’s safe return? With so many parents and dignitaries put into play with nowhere to turn and no one to trust, this unthinkable scenario grows from the select families at risk to an entire nation at stake.

How many episodes did V get? Not the original V, but the one that happened a couple years ago. Or what was that show… Flash Forward. How many episodes did that show get? That’s how many I think this will get. This doesn’t sound like it will last. Sounds very complicated and also sounds like a movie more than a show. Also, I just don’t know if this is as engaging as it is ridiculous.

And, I really don’t think Dermot and Gillian have the star power to get people behind this show. It may be better to have unknowns that people grow to love instead of people they know they wish were making something else instead of this. It’s hard to look at Gillian and not think – why don’t they just make more X-Files? And, I didn’t even watch the X-Files!

Either way, Silly Butt, I’m not really sure that this is the show that will grab the nation’s attention.

4. THE FAMILY GUIDE

It’s not every family that’s brought closer together by divorce, but then again, the Fishers aren’t exactly typical. Take Mel Fisher (J.K. Simmons), for example. Whether it’s chopping down trees, showing his daughter how to drive or playing football with his son, he’s never let the fact that he’s blind slow him down. Then there’s Joyce Fisher (Parker Posey), possibly the only mom in Pasadena to smoke a pipe. For her, divorce is like a second coming of age, a chance to be the teen she never was. Just ask’80s-obsessed teenage daughter Katie (Ava Deluca-Verley, “Southland”), whose clothes Joyce is always borrowing (that is, when she’s not tagging along with Katie to the mall). At the center of all this is Henry (Eli Baker), the Fisher’s 11-year old son. Having always been his dad’s eyes, ears and wingman, Henry’s less than thrilled when Mel shows up with Elvis, a guide dog… which is also how Henry learns about the pending divorce. Awkward. While reluctant to the changes this “big ball of fur” would bring, it’s through the adult Henry’s voice-over (Jason Bateman, “Arrested Development”) that we find out his parent’s split would “allow all of us to finally discover…who we needed to be.”

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… What?

I would read that paragraph again if the it didn’t give me a nosebleed and prematurely knock me out from boredom the first time. What the Hell is happening? And this is a half-hour comedy? A show about all that whatever that was is going to be in a half hour? Whatever.

Maybe I’ll watch an episode because I like Simmons, Posey, and Jason Bateman has a nice voice. But I’m thoroughly against whoever this 11 year old Henry is because he’s anti-dog. If you’re anti-dog – I’m anti-you. YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING, SILLY BUTT!

5. SEAN SAVES THE WORLD

Sean (Sean Hayes) is a divorced gay dad who juggles a lot – his successful but demanding career, offbeat employees, pushy mom Lorna (Linda Lavin, “Alice”), and weekends with his teenage daughter, Ellie (Sami Isler). So when his 14-year-old bundle of joy moves in full-time, it’s a whole new world. Never one to do anything halfway, Sean’s intent on being the best dad ever, so he loads up on parenting how-to books and plans Pinterest-worthy family dinners. But it seems his company’s new owner has decided Sean and his team should work longer hours, putting a damper on his homemaking plans and throwing a kink in Sean’s perfectly constructed work/life balance. Ellie, a normal girl who wants to hang with her friends and eat on the run, sees this development as a plus. She loves her dad, but he’s clearly going overboard. From keeping his boss happy, his employees motivated and enduring his mother’s tactless “advice” to raising a smart, grounded and healthy kid, it’s going to be a growing experience, to say the least. But if anyone can handle it all, it’s Sean.

This is apart of NBC’s push to get the actors who didn’t go on necessarily from their hey day in the 90’s and now are repackaging them in new shows. You’ve seen the litany of Matthew Perry shows. Remember before Michael Richards dropped the N-bomb a few dozen times – he had a detective show. A bunch of them have had shows from time to time with Debra Messing on Smash and whatever else I can think of as I type this – Jason Alexander had like two shows! Anyway, so now we’ve got Sean Hayes.

While some of these shows seemed like too much, this seems like too little. I do know that Thomas Lennon from Reno 911 is on the show. Hopefully, he has a huge role because he’s hilarious. Joey! Remember Joey Lawrence’s show?! Wooooo… I thought I forgot about that one.

I’m not expecting to really like this show nor am I expecting it to last that long. It will definitely get a couple seasons though. I mean they gave Joey a few and Whitney a couple and Chelsea Handler an episode or two. Whether it’s good or not, it will get a solid chance I’m guessing.

So, NBC is losing 4 half hour comedies and replacing them with Parenthood 2, Revolution 2, The Event 2, … something … and Joey 2.

Doesn’t sound too promising for NBC, Silly Butt.

We do know that Parks and Rec has been renewed. I feel like NBC has to renew Community. They’re losing The Office and they’re chopping away at all their other “comedies”. Just leave Community to its own devices. At some point, someone is going to figure out how to gauge that shows popularity on the internet into a feasible revenue stream.

Have fun this weekend, Silly Butt.

Happy Mothers’ Day!

And…

I love you?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: