Hollywood’s Sexy Hillary Rodham Clinton Movie – IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME!

June 6, 2013

Whaddup!

Let me begin by saying I do really like Hillary Rodham Clinton a lot. I do.

She’s incredibly smart, incredibly accomplished, and has been a wonderful political character through and through for almost as long as I remember remembering. I mean I do remember the 1988 Presidential election and remember G.H.W. and, at that time, I didn’t know who these Clinton folks were, but obviously only a couple years later was meeted and greeted to the dynamic duo and they’ve been politico heavyweights ever since. Why do I remember the 1988 election? Probably because I never went to sleep when I was supposed to and remember SNL making fun of Michael Dukakis and Dana Carvey doing that famous Herbert Walker impression – not gonna do it. Also, at my elementary school, the parents and teachers would put on a play once a year and it was pretty much their time to shine as topical comedians and would more or less rip off SNL skits and turn it into a play and I’ll never be able to forget those plays for as long as I live.

ANYWAY!

It was announced recently that James Ponsoldt is going to director a biopic about Hillary Rodham Clinton…

a biopic about…

HILLARY’S SEXY YEARS!!!!!

AM I FUCKING RIGHT?!

BOOYAH!!!!

Isn’t that what we’ve always wanted?

Haven’t we all been clamoring for a biopic about Hilldogs when she was at her sexiest?

Apparently, this director – who directed that Aaron Paul alcoholism movie “Smashed” – is making a biopic about H-Rod and instead of it being about her entire life or about the 50 years of her life from high school to now where she was politically active or maybe examine her life when she was a 2x Senator or the Secretary of State or Hill’s Presidential run or when she was the First Lady of the United States…

… INSTEAD… they’re going to focus on Hillary during her mid to late 20’s when she was working in D.C. and turning down marriage invites from future 2 term US President Bill Clinton.

While there is a story there… it doesn’t seem like the one that should be told and only told for a movie about Hillary.

It reminds me of the Mark Wahlberg movie “The Fighter”. In that movie, they followed Micky Ward for like a year or two or three or whatever during a period of time in his life that PRECEDED the most famous period of his life. PRECEDED. Micky Ward is MOST FAMOUS for his boxing trilogy with Arturo Gatti and “The Fighter” takes place BEFORE those fights. That’s ridiculous. Why? WHY?! Why make a movie about someone who is FAMOUS and then make the movie solely about BEFORE they were FAMOUS for what they are FAMOUS for? I don’t know.

So, Hillary has got a wikipedia page on her that might as well be an unofficial biography. It’s a solid 12,000+ words and BY FAR the majority of them are on Hillary when she truly became a public figure in the 90’s and ONWARD. Not TWO DECADES earlier for a few years. It’s just seems like it’s missed its mark. Like they’re presupposing that someone else will make a movie that is really about Hillary Clinton’s life and this movie is instead about those years that didn’t get as much attention, but can be filled with a lot of sexual tension between her and Bill.

Actually, if they were really going to do the sexy Hillary years – they should be aiming at her early to mid 20’s at Yale when she first meets Bill. They should just focus on their campaigning in Texas for George McGovern and make it really fan-fic-y with them talking constitutional rights and civil liberties and FUCKING. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?! Just law doctrine and pelvis thrusting! Migratory law and missionary!

The movie could start out with Hillary at Wellesley when she was a young republican. A HOT young republican. All that blonde hair and conservative propaganda. Ooooh, it would be steamy and sassy and the boys at Wellesley would just be drooling over it. But Hillary isn’t giving it up. She’s dating or going to dances in between hosting political rallies. Then in ’68 she goes to the convention and doesn’t like the GOP strategies and becomes a Democrat, which means Hillary starts hanging out with liberal girls who are just as liberal with their clothing choices and sexual partner selection as they are with their political beliefs.

This is when Hillary starts experimenting with her own sexuality, which drives her highly intellectual nature like it’s smart and fucking passionate now. Of course, this leads to the orgasmic commencement speech she gives at her Wellesley (first time a student gave one in that college’s history) and she gets a 7 minute standing ovation. Like I’m talking about everyone is wet in their pants.

Hillary is officially a brains and sex typhoon. She storms into Yale and takes it the fuck over. Men are dropping to their knees bowing to her logic and her labia. It’s fucking hot! But… there’s one man and only one man that can handle what she’s throwing out there and that’s of course Billy Jefferson Clinton.

From there, I’m talking Diane Lane on the stairs in “Unfaithful” hot fucking sex. Like nonstop sex like that all over Yale’s campus and then on the political campaign trail. It’s just fucking wild fucking intermixed with scenes of them writing smart shit on white boards like they’re Russell Crowe in “A Beautiful Mind”. Just montages of smart stuff that is smarter than I can think of right now and then juxtaposed with them sweaty and never spent from assaulting each others genitals.

So… yeah. That’s the movie I would make if I was making the movie about Hillary’s sexy years and not the movie about Hillary Clinton being like Secretary of State and a 2 term Senator of New York winning by big dicking landslide like elections and so forth. I mean if I just wanted to focus on her as a young woman who may or may not get married instead of that other stuff where she’s like fucking brilliant and tough as nails and traveled the country and world trying to enact change. You know?

Apparently, Carey Mulligan is the front runner for playing Hillary…

… so…

… yeah…

… I may watch this movie.

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